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originally posted by: schuyler
You may not like this, but....you're effectively soliciting sympathy here, and that's what you're getting. People are saying how sorry they are. Love yourself first, etc., all the noises that you would expect. How right you are. How wrong they are. It's kind of a co-dependency thing. And displaying your heart on a sleeve to ATS? Umm, this is not the real world and friendships here are somewhat illusory--they can vanish in a second. I've seen it happen to supposed "online communities" before. Basically, it's an easily-shattered illusion. "We" are not qualified therapists. You've painted these people as acting idiotically, and we are agreeing with you. Imagine that? More importantly, how valuable is it? You've set us up here to respond the way you want. If you really need help, seek it professionally. ATS, by and large, will agree with whatever you say.
But further, you're a grown-up. You've been married. Apparently you already have a child. You have grown-up responsibilities. Yet in your story everyone is acting like love-sick teenagers. Isn't it time for you to take a mature, more objective look at this behavior and adjust accordingly? If these other people continue to act like children, perhaps it's time to leave them be and maybe ask yourself why you are attracted to this kind of drama in the first place. It can't possibly be healthy for you.
I suspect I know what is going to happen next because we've been there before. I'm not going to check back and argue the points here. I'm just trying to get you to see this from a somewhat different perspective. Good luck.