a reply to: nonspecific
In the last month, more specifically, in the last week, i had what would best be described as a serious wake up call.
I feel like ive woken from an 8 year stupor. A state where i was not completely "myself". I dont know how or why, but i would think, feel and say
things that were off at times; i didnt feel like i was fully autonomous.
I was plagued for years by precognitive dreams, constant coincidences, visions, encounters, "synchronicity", paranormal activity, a whole smattering
of mind bending, traumatic stuff.
However, in the last month, i lost someone i thought i was meant to be with. That triggered something in me. I looked back at some things from my past
8 years and didnt recognize myself.
A lot of people i have known over the last 8 years feel alienated or have removed me from their circles completely, thinking i am/was a complete nut
case. Looking back, i can see why they thought this of me, however, i still think a lot of those people are inconsiderate, fearful, ignorant,
unempathetic, predatory ninnies.
I could speculate as to the cause of my 8 year dissociation, but my new found (or should i say old) self sees no point in speculating about my past.
Whats done is done. I lost years of potential, i lost reputation, lost respect. I lost a hell of a lot, and at the end of this year i have next to
nothing except parents who are about the most generous and kind people i know, and a handful of friends that helped me ride through my proverbial
I'm just happy to be alive.