posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 10:08 AM
Seriously. This has been the worst year I've had since........well,, since I can remember. It started off with my marriage of 20 years going pfft.
She moved out in January and after about 2 months of being apart, we tried to put it back together, but it just didn't work. Trust had been broken
and when that happens, it's tough to get it back. It takes a long time to earn my trust and when you break it, that's it. I will always be looking
for another knife in the back and I just won't live like that. I can't even describe how much that hurt. The one person I depended on, the
one I trusted and she just blew that completely out of the water. Shock is a mild description. I'd known this woman for over 20 years and
never, ever thought she was capable of that. Her? Cheated? WHAT!?
I guess I was wrong.
The whole family is split. Our daughter moved with her and our son lives with me. They live here in town, but I don't get to see my daughter as much
as I want and not having her here in the house is hard. You know what I mean? Even if she was in her room and I didn't see her for hours because she
was online or listening to music or reading, I knew she was here. Even if we only said Hi as she was walking through to get something to drink,
she. was. here. and I was a part of her every day life. I still am to a large extent, we at least text and talk on the phone every day and
she'll come over and hang out for a few hours, several days a week, but it's just not the same.
Just about the time I was getting used to being single, [ I had thought I was ready to get back in to dating but I wasn't ] and after months of being
lonely, hurt, pissed and well,... more hurt, a good friend of mine died. I'd known him for years and we were pretty close. I thought my marriage
falling apart was bad.....this was just kicking me when I was down.
Not that bad ya say?
Last Friday, one week before Christmas, my best friend in the whole world died. The one who got me through this year, helped me forget for a while,
could always get my mind off my problems and even laugh a bit....gone. That's all I'm going to say about him. If I keep thinking, I'm going to
start crying .
The kids were at her house this year for Christmas. I sat here, reading, had a sandwich, watched TV. Just a regular day. My daughter came over for a
bit later and both my kids told me "Merry Christmas, I love you, Dad" and gave me a hug. That was the best gift I could have gotten.
No, I don't think God is mad at me or Karma has come round to bite me in the ass, I just think sometimes bad things happen and there's really
nothing we can do, other than hope it tempers us, makes us stronger and maybe, make us appreciate the people in our lives who make it better, just by
I learned 2 things from this...My marriage meant more to me than even I thought it did. Even after almost a year, the heartache hasn't gotten any
Value your friends. They can be gone in a blink.