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It's been one of Those years

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posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 10:08 AM
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Seriously. This has been the worst year I've had since........well,, since I can remember. It started off with my marriage of 20 years going pfft. She moved out in January and after about 2 months of being apart, we tried to put it back together, but it just didn't work. Trust had been broken and when that happens, it's tough to get it back. It takes a long time to earn my trust and when you break it, that's it. I will always be looking for another knife in the back and I just won't live like that. I can't even describe how much that hurt. The one person I depended on, the one I trusted and she just blew that completely out of the water. Shock is a mild description. I'd known this woman for over 20 years and never, ever thought she was capable of that. Her? Cheated? WHAT!?
I guess I was wrong.
The whole family is split. Our daughter moved with her and our son lives with me. They live here in town, but I don't get to see my daughter as much as I want and not having her here in the house is hard. You know what I mean? Even if she was in her room and I didn't see her for hours because she was online or listening to music or reading, I knew she was here. Even if we only said Hi as she was walking through to get something to drink, she. was. here. and I was a part of her every day life. I still am to a large extent, we at least text and talk on the phone every day and she'll come over and hang out for a few hours, several days a week, but it's just not the same.

Just about the time I was getting used to being single, [ I had thought I was ready to get back in to dating but I wasn't ] and after months of being lonely, hurt, pissed and well,... more hurt, a good friend of mine died. I'd known him for years and we were pretty close. I thought my marriage falling apart was bad.....this was just kicking me when I was down.

Not that bad ya say?
Hang on.

Last Friday, one week before Christmas, my best friend in the whole world died. The one who got me through this year, helped me forget for a while, could always get my mind off my problems and even laugh a bit....gone. That's all I'm going to say about him. If I keep thinking, I'm going to start crying .

The kids were at her house this year for Christmas. I sat here, reading, had a sandwich, watched TV. Just a regular day. My daughter came over for a bit later and both my kids told me "Merry Christmas, I love you, Dad" and gave me a hug. That was the best gift I could have gotten.

No, I don't think God is mad at me or Karma has come round to bite me in the ass, I just think sometimes bad things happen and there's really nothing we can do, other than hope it tempers us, makes us stronger and maybe, make us appreciate the people in our lives who make it better, just by being there.
I learned 2 things from this...My marriage meant more to me than even I thought it did. Even after almost a year, the heartache hasn't gotten any less.
Value your friends. They can be gone in a blink.




posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 10:43 AM
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Yes you have had the smakdowns. I feel for ya and of course I cant imagine what you are going through.

Breakups suck. It hurts. It effects everyone.

I am sorry you lost your friend.

Sounds like you are ready for a new year, and I wish you the best. You deserve it.
edit on 26-12-2015 by smirkley because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 10:47 AM
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The very important positive is that your children both love you and are willing to articulate that.

Hopefully 2016 brings a much more happy time for you.



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 11:13 AM
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a reply to: DAVID64

Hang in there man.
Sometimes,life isn't about the joy....its how you can deal with the misery.
I wish you good luck....be strong.



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 11:15 AM
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I suppose you could look at it like this. "Things can only get better."

Going out and getting drunk at NewYears might help. Just make sure not to get a ticket.



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 11:36 AM
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a reply to: DAVID64

Wow, don't know what to say.

But, if we are lucky enough to live a long life, we will lose everybody we love.

I kind of look at life like this...

As long as I don't have to bury a child...Bring life on.

I hope next year is the best year ever...



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 11:55 AM
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a reply to: rickymouse




posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 12:58 PM
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Sounds a very tough year, I hope things improve and your luck changes
edit on 26-12-2015 by woodwardjnr because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 12:58 PM
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originally posted by: woodwardjnr
Here's hoping 2017 turns out better for you and your loved ones


Cut the guy some slack, why make him wait until 2017.



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 01:05 PM
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a reply to: AugustusMasonicus cut me some slack homie.




posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 01:10 PM
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originally posted by: woodwardjnr
cut me some slack homie.



You got as much as you need son.



posted on Dec, 26 2015 @ 11:19 PM
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a reply to: DAVID64

I'm very sorry for your losses.



posted on Dec, 30 2015 @ 11:38 PM
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I'm so sorry I missed this thread! Life is always full of changes and challenges. Sorrow can run deep and we have our dark days. I have had years of bad things happen and things still aren't so great in some areas. All you can do really is take one day at a time and hold onto the hope that you will find the courage and strength to persevere. It isn't easy, but know that there are people who genuinely care, like some of the amazing people here at ATS. You are not completely alone.




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