The Downsides of Being Beautiful

a reply to: Bluesma

I am concerned, personally, more in the gender and age differential and as such the situation presented an opportunity to see which Mods responded and how in a comparable situation. The person that I made my comment to is older than Rukia, male but similarly perceived to be arrogant. As I have already stated, my brother, like Rukia is beautiful and was blessed with natural brilliance, a good processor if you will, he is also incredibly arrogant. So my understanding so far, is that it is okay to be male and arrogant, but not permitted to be female and arrogant in similar conditions. That is what I was looking to test. I am not sure why you think the Staff would even know what I look like, with the exception of a small photograph of me aged four, there are no photographs of me anywhere on the internet (I have sent photos by email and through processing sites, so the PTB will have access to them, but I don't think that the Staff here have access to that but ya never know). Either way, no matter what I look like, I am not in the same league intelligence wise. I have had to work very hard at academic learning, it is not something that comes naturally to me, getting myself through school and leaving with a C-grade average was, throughout, the best I could imagine. The only A grade I possess is in Textiles, and that I consider a personal triumph given I was tripping my tits off in the exam with glandular fever...but this is neither here nor there...

In short, I don't think Rukia should have to work any harder, or less, than her male counterparts but I do think she should nurture her intelligence, feed it, and allow it to grow. I also think that she should look around her at the values she is parroting, this being my main concern, most of her threads are repeating what she is read or been told, she is not drawing it together to form her own independent opinion. As it stands, given what she has said about the company she keeps elsewhere, and the mindset of "don't hate me because I am beautiful" seems to be socially supported in the US, I am not seeing a great deal of evidence of her doing justice to that beautiful brain other than in feeling superior to others. That still could get her very far in life, but it depends upon where she wants to go, and why purpose she wants to put those gifts to.

Looking around at the MSM I can see why she would be suffering a dearth of positive role models, but there are some excellent men and women on ATS for her to look into the minds of. Jadestar, for example, great role model on being breathtakingly gorgeous, overcoming adversity and having an incredible mind to boot. And, she is a solid gold sweetheart who gives of herself to raise up others. I have been blessed by my membership on ATS and the exposure to strong, warm, nurturing women who have helped me through some of the hardest, darkest times in my life. I doubt I would have made it without them, and I would like to see Rukia open herself up more to those women, see what she can learn from them. She can be whoever she wants to be, but it helps to look a little further ahead, consider who's respect you might want in the future, knowing that some of those people will be women, not just men, and that they are going to expect her to be more than an empty vessel that has been filled up by the values of others. She can play the victim, some men and women make a career of it, but it is only going to get her so far, or she could take the short cuts that her looks will offer her, and I don't think that that is necessarily a bad choice, it can open doors as long as you don't get too caught up in the attention and forget to go through the door.

For me, it is generally a gender issue but also there are elements of us not nurturing our young women sufficiently, or protecting them from the stupidity of youth and the predatory tendencies of some aspects of society...hence why I prefer to call the Halo Effect, Ted Bundy Syndrome, due to that sense of entitlement and superiority that harnessed leads to all sorts of outward expression of murder and mayhem, and just as often nowadays, given a uniform and placed in service of the state. There are therefore, conspiratorial reasons, for being mindful of the power that a beautiful woman can have.

a reply to: Anaana

You know, I guess I am just not very concerned with assessing peoples individual character and personalities here.
I have absolutely no impression of any of the staff here in terms of their personality, and of posters, the impressions they leave upon my memory are of their types of ideas and preferences (some are more physical, materialistic, some tend to be less... some are more imaginative, some more philosophical, etc.)

Women are permitted to be just as arrogant as men are. If you feel Rukia is acting arrogant, well, have you seen anyone stop her from being so?

Freedom of expression means others have the right to express their dislike of your expression - doing so doesn't stop you from being however you damn well like to be.

I'm not concerned with being the personality police around here, and I didn't enter this thread to make a determination of the OP's personality faults and weaknesses and what they should change. I was interested in the concept as a social issue, the topic, and in such examinations, I feel it is more fair for each to refer to their own experiences (as part of that "thinking for oneself and drawing upon direct experience") but not interpretting others experiences indirectly.

You made mistakes in your interpretation of my experience, which caused huge mistakes in your conclusions.
Do you know rukia enough to be making such conclusions about her life and who she is?
Can you be sure you haven't made some key mistakes that might throw that off?
Just as your research testing was totally uncontrolled, making the conclusions unreliable, so is your analysations of others you have reads words from on a screen.


Why not just stick to the concepts, as you can percieve through your own direct experience?

Whatever. Do as you like. I don't know if you are right and Rukia "needs to learn to think for herself" or not....but is this your way of setting an example for her on how to do that?
Draw your conclusions about life from your interpretations of others experiences you were not witness to but read about on the internet?

a reply to: Bluesma

The point I was making was your's, that the internet, all that we say or do here, keeps a record, and that not only our government, but more commercial interests, can and do have access to that information. I am always mindful of that and it is wise to be so to whatever degree each individual sees fit. My ATS account can be traced to my place of work, my son, my family, I asked my brother's permission to talk about him, for example. My experience, as I said, does not apply to the OP, and as I have explained, that is, in part, because British society is structured differently to both the US, Europe and most Latin countries. I have had a plethora of women to choose from, from my history and European history and US history, of female role models, who have helped me to achieve my aspirations. It depends, as I said, on who you want to be. I do not think that Rukia has the same aspirations as me, therefore I am not seeking to be an example to her in achieving her aspirations, I just know that there are women who can "have it all" but those women have to earn the respect of other women, not just men.

JIMMY SOUL If You Want To Be Happy (for The Rest Of Your Life) Lyrics

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her, then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart,
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

Say man.
Hey baby.
I saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's ugly.
Man, she's ugly but she sure can cook, baby.
Yeah? Alright...

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

edit on 1/17/2016 by Puppylove because: (no reason given)

edit on 1/17/2016 by Puppylove because: (no reason given)

edit on 1/17/2016 by Puppylove because: (no reason given)

a reply to: rukia

why do u care so much about uglines or beauty. are you insecure?

a reply to: rukia

If most humans had a choice they would rather be beautiful and taunted every time, rather than be ugly and taunted.

Accept the gift and wear it pride.

My sister in law is very beautiful and she is 50+ and she is one of the most sexiest women in the world in my view.