posted on Dec, 8 2015 @ 09:24 PM
I had a dream last night that made me so sad.
In the dream, I had for some reason had been convinced to agree to being euthanised. My family was encouraging me, in a kind of resignated way, but
when I expressed fear, they were pretty much like, "you know you have to go through with this."
Then it was time, and I was so sad, afraid it would hurt and deeply sad that I would not be able to see my family again, especially my Mom and Dad,
but they seemed keen on my proceeding and did not hear anything I tried to bring up to put the halt on this process. I am 47 years old, with grown up
kids, but in this dream my focus was on my parents, not my children or spouse.
I had to lie down in this small area with other people going through the same process. It was sort-of like a padded box and we were encouraged to
snuggle and pile up, as this would make the process more comfortable. I was trying to follow the rules but was very afraid of what was about to
happen. Then I realized that we were going to be gassed with something to knock us out before euthanising us, and I gave in at that point. I tried
to relax and go with it since I was aware that this was supposed to keep us from pain.
The next thing I knew, I guess I had passed, in the dream, because I was out of the padded box and trying to hug my parents, but they did not respond
to me, at all. I was crying and saying how sorry I was, but they could not feel me trying to hug them or hear me, apparently.
I felt very sad after I woke up from this dream, and it stuck with me today.