A Question For Gay People

a reply to: dude1

How so? She was hetero, then bi, now hetero...so what makes her bi and not hetero? Why is hetero just a lifestyle?

If I have a 1 month experience with my same sex, being curious, am I then bi, even tho I feel hetero and know my experienience was to experiment?

It's along the same lines as gender signals (long hair for females, short for males etc) in the hetero world, except a homosexual can't just look an individual of the same sex and identify their orientation. Over time gay culture developed some "gender" signals (for lack of a better term) of their own that allows them to indicate their orientation to others without verbalizing it.

Has anyone actually answered his question?

originally posted by: skoalman88
Has anyone actually answered his question?

Bits and pieces here and there, I am not sure there is a one size fits all answer.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: Annee

Maybe in your office.

That is not the experience in mine. It is sort of obvious which are which where I am at. It's not an issue, but you can tell is all.

What about the ones who are gay that you can't tell?

Unless they tell you, you don't know.

originally posted by: NewzNose
a reply to: Annee

It seems to me Bi-sexual would be correct if she were still so. She now says she is really hetero, and that period of her life was a learning experience.
If this is true, then which orientation was she "born into"?

Could be. A person can choose to experiment sexually.

Heche is a bit nuts. Really kind of looney. I was a fan of hers. I followed stories etc on her.

originally posted by: skoalman88
Has anyone actually answered his question?

You don't seem to want to accept info posters have provided.

Your agenda is beginning to scream.

originally posted by: dude1
"she is really hetero"
hetero the lifestyle , not her orientation she was born into (Bi-sexual).
many Bi-sexual say they are hetro , and by that they mean that they live a hetro life.

sexual orientation isn't changeable.

OK, then how do you know her orientation isn't hetero? Are you just making the assumption that someone who is hetero would be completely incapable of any and all sexual experimentation?

a reply to: skoalman88

I think i did

originally posted by: skoalman88
Has anyone actually answered his question?

Ummm...yep...

originally posted by: YouSir
a reply to: stolencar18


Ummm...okay...in a nutshell here goes...Feminine gay guys and masculine lesbian gals are kinda wired to be that way much as ANNEE stated many many times...however she nor anyone else has answered your questions...

This is my opinion for what it's worth...These people you speak of gender identify as the opposite sex and are potential sex change candidates who either can't/wont go through with the procedure for whatever reason...or are on a waiting list to do so...Probably much to the future chagrin of their current partner........or not...

Let's also remember chimera and hermaphroditic characteristics for a moment...if we consider only partial as in hormonal/genetic hermaphroditic/chimeric characteristics within the context of sexuality..then one can surmise that percentages of this group as per the parameters in the OP may be carrying these characteristics and expressing themselves in a most natural way due to their mixed/partial genetic predisposition...NOTE: I did not say inherited I merely was speaking to mixed sexual characteristics that occur naturally in the setting of partial hermaphroditic/chimeric interfaces within the host organism...as relates to expressionism...

There...OP...I think I've answered your question...
Remember...this isn't a fault reduction...rather an effort to explain that humans come in many varieties and many of those varieties are sexual in nature...These people are as they are...and deserve our respect and compassion...not ridicule and belittling...

YouSir

YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

Gender-Identity,Gender-Expression, Assigned Sex and Sexual Orientation all exist separately though. some Heterosexual Cisgender Males can exhibit more "Female" Mannerism likewise Heterosexual Cisgender Woman can exhibit more "Masculine" mannerisms.

the main thing is that there has been socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that society considers ""appropriate"" for Males and Females to exhibit. these Stereotypes have a Negative effect and are simply untrue

a reply to: Gryphon66

Thanks for the info. I've met gay men and women who act the way I've described and I've never understood.

This may be because I'm a straight man and I know I find "feminine" women more beautiful than "butch" women (oh go ahead! Flame me!), and it seems to me that lesbian women would also prefer women who look like women, but maybe that's close minded of me?

Please don't pretend my question isn't serious. People on here ask stupid crap like "why do little green men probe me" and I'm asking a legit question about behaviour of a certain percentage of our population. Their question? 793493 responses and flags. Mine? I must be an ignorant homophobe..

I'm also curious about behaviours of other groups of people, but that wasn't my question today. Why is it that every question about gay people is taboo? No offense, but gay people need to get over themselves too. We're all humans, and I'm asking a question about behaviour. I'm not asking why you're gay or suggesting you chose to be gay. I'm asking why some gay people choose to BEHAVE a certain way.

For the record...I do resent some of the elitist attitude SOME gay people have. That's a different topic.

originally posted by: skoalman88
Has anyone actually answered his question?

HA...6 pages and the answer is "not really". Some people have hinted at things, but everyone dodges this like we're talking about the Holocaust. Why is this so taboo?

It shouldn't be. It's no different than asking "why do so many rednecks talk like that", except the LGBT population has (here I go!) made it taboo to question anything about them.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: skoalman88
Has anyone actually answered his question?

You don't seem to want to accept info posters have provided.

Your agenda is beginning to scream.

Annee...Please stop with the agenda statements. They're tiring and dishonest. The vast majority of the responses are attempts to call my question ignorant or state that it doesn't matter. Those aren't answers. If you want to insult or troll people find another thread. Your negativity is unwelcome here.

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,


"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

a reply to: stolencar18

HA...6 pages and the answer [ to whether or not the question has been answered] is "not really". Some people have hinted at things, but everyone dodges this like we're talking about the Holocaust. Why is this so taboo?

Maybe - just maybe.......

BECAUSE

NO ONE KNOWS!

Your questions are entirely valid. You have asked the ATS community. Several members of the "Alphabet crowd" have participated. Darth Prime and Gryphon in particular. Not sure if markosity got here yet - but those would be your go-to members, and they have given responses.

So have people who know gay people, and have seen people transform --

I've been colleagues with people from that community, and the subject just doesn't come up.
You know how you might or might not be 'religious' might or not like wearing jeans or getting your haircut or girls with makeup........

do you know why?

These are just people - being people. Being WHO THEY ARE, and not necessarily as introspective as would suit you.
Even if they are introspective, it doesn't mean they can answer your questions. Any more than I can explain why I prefer men over women, or disdain particular sexual positions.....

it's just who we are.
Period.

It was a good thread premise. I think the 'answers' you want are not going to be further elaborated; you have gotten the best that ATS has to offer.

a reply to: Stormdancer777

Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part.

a reply to: stolencar18

The question was answered.

Men having a feminine "camp" voice is not limited to gay guys, there are straight guys who have feminine voices too, yet they are straight, and straight women still like them even with their feminine voice, so this is not really a question limited to gay people because the same situation is true for some straight people, too.

The way someone dresses or talks does not change their sex (male or female body), so for example, gay males are still attracted to other males despite the feminine traits. The same is true for straight women into feminine guys.

a reply to: stolencar18

I think that's a bit unfair.

I've always found Annee to be polite and obliging, and she has contributed a lot to this conversation.

a reply to: stolencar18

Trust me, it is almost impossible to predict what people will "find attractive."

There is little rhyme or reason. You feel like you are asking "a question" that has "an answer" ... it is not one-to-one.

People are not a math equation. You seem to think every gay person does what they do for the same reason???

Gay people are just like straight people ... and we are all unique within certain parameters.

Questions about gay people are not taboo, to my mind.

However, please keep in mind that we aren't a) lab experiments, b) abnormal, c) sinful, d) unnatural, e) child molesters or f) all of the above ... and as far as I'm concerned, we'll be fine.

For the record, I find elitists repugnant whatever their sexual preference.