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A Question For Gay People

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posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 07:49 PM
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originally posted by: stolencar18
a reply to: Annee

Okay...lets be honest. I am ignorant. There? Happy? I just want to know. We all know that what I describe occurs quite regularly. I'm wondering why. I don't judge it. I think it's fine. I'm curious what motivates it.


Then you won't be upset if we question your motivation. Curious eh?




Where do you live that you don't have any gay friends? Why not ask them....dosen't that make sense?
edit on 7-12-2015 by olaru12 because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 07:53 PM
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originally posted by: soulpowertothendegree
a reply to: stolencar18

Gay people prefer sex with same gender. Simple really. There are plenty of heterosexual people that have different tendencies than their gender, but they prefer sex with opposite genders. Stereo types have been the norm for many centuries, but the last 30 years has seen a change in what men can do without being labeled "queer" and there are things women can do without being labeled "masculine".

Sex with the same gender is the only thing that really qualifies someone to be "gay".


REPEAT: Preference denotes you are making a choice.

Sexual orientation is inherent. Not a choice one makes.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 07:54 PM
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I did say sorry to be blunt!

This OP is written with an ignorance disguised as a genuine question as this is just stereo typing with a bit of mockery as you aimed the questions at the "gay community" and not everyone

I don't see any merit in the questions really as people are just who they are without having to be what you perceive them to be...

just because a male is effeminate it don't automatically mean he is gay same goes for a female being masculine don't necessarily make her gay either

also, at the end of the day what difference does it make how camp or butch people are?



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:00 PM
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I have wondered the same thing to be honest. I think we have all seen men that are less than rugged and women that are real tom boys. But I have only seen the extremes of the flamboyant gestures and voices in gay men and the extremes of the masculine female in gay women. I think the OP asks legitimate questions.

I had a friend years ago who decided to come out. She coached girls basketball at the local high school. Some of the parents were pretty upset. Not so much because she announced that she was gay, but because when she did her behavior changed. She cut her hair crew cut short, and only wore men's clothing. Prior to that she wore all kinds of nice feminine stuff and had long wavy hair. It was the change in her appearance and behavior that had people upset more than her sexual preference.

I asked her, "If you are gay that means you like women who like women, right?" She said yes. I asked, "Then why do you act all masculine, like a guy?" She said she didn't. I was looking at her thinking one of us is crazy. The woman I knew one month before that would have been sitting there in heels and a dress, finger nails done and makeup and stuff. Now she was sitting there in army boots, with a crew cut and no makeup. It wasn't my imagination.

She was never able to explain how she could change so much, but not consider it acting like a guy, as in masculine, when she was clearly definable as feminine prior to coming out.

Did I miss something? I really would like to understand this.
edit on 7-12-2015 by Vroomfondel because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:03 PM
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originally posted by: zerozero00
I did say sorry to be blunt!

This OP is written with an ignorance disguised as a genuine question as this is just stereo typing with a bit of mockery as you aimed the questions at the "gay community" and not everyone

I don't see any merit in the questions really as people are just who they are without having to be what you perceive them to be...

just because a male is effeminate it don't automatically mean he is gay same goes for a female being masculine don't necessarily make her gay either

also, at the end of the day what difference does it make how camp or butch people are?


I think you may be confused. I didn't say feminine men or masculine women are homosexual. I said many LGBT (key word: many) exhibit the described traits.

I think you're trying a bit too hard to be argumentative.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:07 PM
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Stereotyping is very stupid. Not all gay men are effeminate. Some are very masculine and will fight and kick your ass if you insult them. They are so masculine they prefer the company of other men. seems like a contradiction...it's not.

The same thing exist in the Lesbian world....Both lovers can look so feminine and not be butch.

Trying to define one's sexuality by appearances isn't possible in todays contemporary culture.


You have an opinion about homosexuality....take a walk on the wild side and tell us what it is.
edit on 7-12-2015 by olaru12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:11 PM
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originally posted by: Vroomfondel
The woman I knew one month before that would have been sitting there in heels and a dress, finger nails done and makeup and stuff. Now she was sitting there in army boots, with a crew cut and no makeup. It wasn't my imagination.


Society forced her to live a lie. She owes you nothing. It's probably not something she wants to relive.

Her real self is now out. She should not be pressured to look backwards.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:11 PM
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a reply to: Annee




Sexual orientation is inherent. Not a choice one makes.


Then how do you explain relationships like those of Anne Heche?



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:12 PM
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originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Vroomfondel
The woman I knew one month before that would have been sitting there in heels and a dress, finger nails done and makeup and stuff. Now she was sitting there in army boots, with a crew cut and no makeup. It wasn't my imagination.


Society forced her to live a lie. She owes you nothing. It's probably not something she wants to relive.

Her real self is now out. She should not be pressured to look backwards.


I never treated her like she owed me anything or pressured her into anything. That is kind of harsh. We talked friend to friend. There was nothing we couldn't talk about prior to her coming out and I treated her no differently afterwards. Should I have treated her differently? I just wanted to understand and I figured there was no one better qualified to explain it than her.
edit on 7-12-2015 by Vroomfondel because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:12 PM
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a reply to: Vroomfondel

Are we not lucky to have such different characteristics, behaviours, mannerisms and many colourful traits?

I just don't get the OP as I see extremism in all people...you know like a female being extremely girly and a guy being oh so macho...no different in my eyes but that's me

If the OP had asked why humans have such diverse traits throughout the race instead of picking out a "group" then I wouldn't say "ignorance"



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:14 PM
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a reply to: HUMBLEONE

Didn't you know his cushion was replaced a couple seasons ago?

To the OP: you are my hero, bravely going there, here, on ATS. I respect that. Knowledge is powerful stuff!



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:16 PM
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a reply to: stolencar18

FWIW, I don't think you're ignorant.

I got confused reading this article, and sorry if its maybe off-topic.

www.news.com.au... 86deaf6006

Not how the trans guy could be pregnant, but about his partner. Is he gay or hetero? He is with a guy but obviously has sex like he would with a girl. Maybe they got together before the transition. Call me ignorant too, it doesn't worry me. I have nothing against anyones sexual preferences as long as it doesn't involve children, or animals.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:19 PM
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a reply to: stolencar18

Not at all, I disagree with the motive behind the OP

ok, i'll put it this way to suit you

A "butch" girl is born and designed that way...the same way you are born and designed the "butch" guy
no mystery

Now, your questions seems silly yes?


I'll add this, a camp guy acts camp because he is designed to ...his voice is the way it is because nature designed to work that way, he is comfortable in his skin if he can be who he is designed to be by his normal DNA...just like you, me and everyone else

Nothing missing nothing added, just a normal guy that isn't the same as you...awesome, nature at its best




edit on 7-12-2015 by zerozero00 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:22 PM
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originally posted by: zerozero00
a reply to: Vroomfondel

Are we not lucky to have such different characteristics, behaviours, mannerisms and many colourful traits?

I just don't get the OP as I see extremism in all people...you know like a female being extremely girly and a guy being oh so macho...no different in my eyes but that's me

If the OP had asked why humans have such diverse traits throughout the race instead of picking out a "group" then I wouldn't say "ignorance"



I get your point, but I prefer to stop short of insult, unless a person really begs for it. And even then they have to insult me first.

I agree with you that there are extremes straight across the board, but as I said earlier, I only see the really extreme end of the scale in terms of the flamboyant gestures and high voices in gay men. We are all on the bell curve of manliness somewhere, but I think the outlying flats are probably more populated by gay men than straight. I always wondered if it was like a secret handshake, a way to identify each other, or if it was genuine honest behavior.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:25 PM
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didnt read all the posts yet but wanted to comment.
i dont really understand and i will give you an example as to why

my wife talks to a lady on a message board she uses. this lady is married to a man.
let me back up. this lady was with a woman in an intimate relationship for a long time.
it ended.
now she is married to a man. the man used to be a woman.....trans of course.

i cant wrap my head around it.

leave a woman to be with a man that used to be a woman????????????

very strange



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:26 PM
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originally posted by: Vroomfondel

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Vroomfondel
The woman I knew one month before that would have been sitting there in heels and a dress, finger nails done and makeup and stuff. Now she was sitting there in army boots, with a crew cut and no makeup. It wasn't my imagination.


Society forced her to live a lie. She owes you nothing. It's probably not something she wants to relive.

Her real self is now out. She should not be pressured to look backwards.


I never treated her like she owed me anything or pressured her into anything. That is kind of harsh. We talked friend to friend. There was nothing we couldn't talk about prior to her coming out and I treated her no differently afterwards. Should I have treated her differently? I just wanted to understand and I figured there was no one better qualified to explain it than her.


From what you said, it's obviously not something she wants to even acknowledge.

There's probably a lot of pain there. Let it go.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:27 PM
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originally posted by: NewzNose
a reply to: Annee




Sexual orientation is inherent. Not a choice one makes.


Then how do you explain relationships like those of Anne Heche?


Bi-sexual.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:29 PM
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I know lots of straight women who display what is typically classified as manly traits and behaviors and straight men you would think were not based on same. Guess the only thing all this goes to show is that people are going to be who they are. And that's both a good thing and a lesson to not judge someone on stereotypical characteristics.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:29 PM
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originally posted by: lifecitizen
a reply to: stolencar18

FWIW, I don't think you're ignorant.

I got confused reading this article, and sorry if its maybe off-topic.

www.news.com.au... 86deaf6006

Not how the trans guy could be pregnant, but about his partner. Is he gay or hetero? He is with a guy but obviously has sex like he would with a girl. Maybe they got together before the transition. Call me ignorant too, it doesn't worry me. I have nothing against anyones sexual preferences as long as it doesn't involve children, or animals.


Transgender can be either heterosexual or homosexual.



posted on Dec, 7 2015 @ 08:37 PM
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a reply to: Vroomfondel

I see a lot of people picking up on my "ignorance" stance...I think I'm being diplomatic really

If I'm correct in sating the OP is bogus it can only mean two things...Ignorance or homophobia

I have a very close camp friend and to be honest I would never ever ask him "why do you speak with a girly voice" as I'm sure he would be upset by my stupidity and ignorance, also I'm not stupid enough to do it



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