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Inside the whirl

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posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 05:32 PM
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Ummm... have you ever had that feeling that something was inside of you...twisting...


Inside the whirl


I almost came apart the other day
My pieces flying outward and around
A cyclone was inside me I should say
Inside the whirl the dervish that i found

A storm was raging hard against my mind
A battle fierce a struggle for control
Bruised and bloodied giving kind for kind
Light and dark thus vying for my soul


Ah...so that's what it was...my "Jiminy Cricket's"...sparing...


YouSir




posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 05:38 PM
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i liked it. i favour brevity in verse. the phrase 'giving kind for kind' is especially good.




posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 06:11 PM
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posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 07:45 PM
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a reply to: RoScoLaz4


Ummm...hello Rosco...I also like brevity in verse...sometimes you can't pack all those thoughts into just a few lines though...
I haven't quite figured out how to zip file them so that when you read a line a whole panorama unfolds like a dimensional book in your mind........................yet...

Stay tuned...

Be well my friend...




YouSir
edit on 24-11-2015 by YouSir because: I forgot to include the toast...



posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 07:50 PM
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a reply to: trifecta


Ummm...I see you trying to hide there behind that thumbs up...Trifecta...You can't fool me...I know it's you...

You must have been the street champ at "ghosts in the graveyard"...Have one of these ...

Pssst...mulled hard cider...

Be well my friend...


YouSir



posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 10:29 PM
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I still say that you should publish your poetry. I also think it would be amazing if you tried writing stories.




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