Only good looking people find real love

Many people bang on about how it's what's on the inside that matters, and I have no doubt personality is important; I'd never date someone horrible just because I found them physically attractive. However I can't help but feel these people are in denial when they tell themselves that looks don't matter at all, because they had to settle for someone they don't find attractive.

Allow me to elaborate. Whilst the "Everyone's The Same" brigade tries to force this idea that everyone looks beautiful, fact is that just isn't the case. Some people win the genetic lottery, many others don't. And on a scale of one to ten people tend to know where they are; I'm slap bang in the middle at five.

Based on this realistic view of our own attractiveness, we should chase after those we put in the same physical-attractiveness band, as ourselves. Except this isn't a natural behaviour. Our natural desire is towards those we see as a perfect balance of inner, and outer beauty. However those we see as such are no different to us in the sense that they too are going after that perfect mix, and rarely find themselves falling for an average looker. Difference is they know subconsciously that, unlike us average looking folk, they don't have to compromise.

Of course after we've been rejected enough times those of us not blessed by the genetic lottery reluctantly accept the fact, that we have to make compromises. Submissively we force ourselves to look past our natural desires, and 'fall in love' with someone we don't find attractive, just so that we don't die lonely, and childless...

More often that not these relationships end either in misery, or with both spouses losing all feeling for each other. And they choose either to accept it and remain in platonic relationship/marriage, or live in flat out denial. Because forced feelings are too hard to maintain. And that isn't true love.

Perhaps it sounds I'm prioritising looks but before you launch into full-on attack mode, just ask yourself this: if you could have a partner with a great personality who looked like Donald Trump / Rosie O'Donnell, or a partner with the same great personality who looked like Tom Cruise / Cameron Diaz, who would you go with?

a reply to: plainsailing

Find someone equally attractive/ugly as thyself, I mean thats how crap tends to work out unless you got some sort of resource that you are going to exchange for companionship. We all seen that the ugly guy with the hot gal. Not so much the other way?

ps: buy fallout 4

if you could have a partner with a great personality who looked like Donald Trump / Rosie O'Donnell,

No.

a reply to: Lysergic

Only time I've seen an Ugly Boy/Hot girl (or visa versa) scenario is when the ugly one was effing loaded. Even when I was in school, that's the way it was. If their parents were loaded then suddenly they'd look right past it!

I would be inclined to argue the apposite. In my experience the pretty ones are more entitled, spoiled, shallow, selfish...etc. Never having to develop personality because people fall over themselves just to please them. And once they realize that they have to keep up the pretty in order to maintain their hierarchy. Which in the case of females can lead to too much make up, ridiculous cosmetic surgeries, and spending to much money on fashionable clothes.

I have been fortunate enough to date very beautiful women in my days, more trouble than they are worth.
To be honest, my current girlfriend whom i hope to marry one day, isn't exactly the prettiest girl i have dated, but she has personality, and doesn't spend hours getting ready just to go have dinner, or go grocery shopping...we laugh together. She has opinions, likes rock and roll...

Anyway, i would argue and say that people put up with a lot of crap to have a pretty spouse,sacrificing real relationship for novelty. For me it took finding balance, and seeing the inner beauty to appreciate the outer beauty to have a real, healthy and lasting relationship.

Just my .02$....good thing my girl doesn't ATS lol.

This is just not true, ive found true love and i look like s**t

Being good looking might get you laid more often, but it does not guarantee love.

edit - no comment.

a reply to: SteamyJeans

Oh don't get me wrong, I know there are beautiful people who are complete and utter a'holes. And I'd never deal with them. However I've met plenty of beautiful looking people, who have great personalities and interests as well. And who generally aren't a pain in the neck. I say generally because lets be honest, we can all be a bit of nuisance at times; male or female.

a reply to: plainsailing

In a way I agree.
But as a woman I can say that "uglier" men have far easier to get more attractive women then the other way around.

Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder... or what the saying is.

Women do of course want to be attrachted to the man she is with, it is sort of important.
I can though say I have fallen for some big guys that some women would be like -.. "you think he is hot!"
I say YES! Or, sometimes feel ashamed for some reason and not pursue.

Group pressure does a lot too. I think that goes for men and women.
A man might find that chubby girl beautiful and funny and all that but his friends would be all like, you like fat chicks. And he might go away from that girl.

Some are strong and don't care what other people think.

I have dreamy thoughts, sure I lovvveee a hot man with some abs, dark hair, blue eyes and a nice ass.
But in reality looks is not all to it, if that guy would be an abuser, alcoholic, too self involved, flirting with everyone and so on... I don't want that, it would turn me off.

Sexy people seem to find love faster but I also think it is more difficult for them to know do they love me for who I am or my looks.

Just as rich people, do they love for me or my money.

Often though we see attractive couples, ugly couples, okay couples and once and a while an uglyman who won the hot lottery or the other way around.

Though very very very ugly people might have it very difficult to find someone.
But I know some and I am amazed they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I have no ego trip here but I often think, gosh, I look better than them but yet I have no one.

But i am picky so...

originally posted by: plainsailing
Of course after we've been rejected enough times those of us not blessed by the genetic lottery reluctantly accept the fact, that we have to make compromises. Submissively we force ourselves to look past our natural desires, and 'fall in love' with someone we don't find attractive, just so that we don't die lonely, and childless...

It almost sounds like you are complaining because you feel that attractive people haven't been compromising for you therefore you will now have to compromise for a less attractive person. It is like you are angry at others for not doing something that you haven't been willing to do, either.

originally posted by: plainsailing
Perhaps it sounds I'm prioritising looks but before you launch into full-on attack mode, just ask yourself this: if you could have a partner with a great personality who looked like Donald Trump / Rosie O'Donnell, or a partner with the same great personality who looked like Tom Cruise / Cameron Diaz, who would you go with?

I would go with the person I fell in love with.

I lucked out with a super attractive spouse but I have dated physically unattractive people before because it is not something I value very highly in others.

I'm sorry but I just do not get the preoccupation with conventional physical attractiveness. At first glance, it would be the thing that grabs my attention but it is just one feature among many.

Or you could be cool?
An average looking person can find love with someone way more physically attractive if they have a warm personality and good sense of humor. Especially once you get older and real life takes hold, instead of living in a childish fantasy world.
Also,
Once you truly fall in love, other attractive women are not even as attractive anymore, because you only have eyes for your true love. Trust me.

It's all about survival of the species.

It's the selfish gene at work. Men want "attractive" females, meaning an attractive figure, because those females are deemed "healthy" and capable of raising offspring. Those who are not "attractive" in the traditional sense (small hips and breasts) are less likely to be able to birth and nurse healthy children. And, for the record, the more widespread a male spreads his genes, the more likely those genes will carry on in the population.

Females, on the other hand, have a different reproductive strategy. They must attract and retain a strong male, wealthy, capable of keeping her and her offspring safe with sufficient food and shelter. Since she can get pregnant only once every few years (lactating inhibits ovulation), her strategy cannot be to "spread her genes," but is in keeping her man so that the kids survive to adulthood. As a result, attractive females tend to "marry up" the social scale.

This is a generalization with lots of exceptions, of course, and finding an exception does not nullify the point, which is: It has little to do with "love."

a reply to: plainsailing

these people you picked..they have all wonderful personalities!!

Btw Why would you date a lesbian? Anyway Rosie's ex was hot.. Rossie is living it up now with some little hot college students

Donald trump was doing miss universe .. Shame she was a dude ..no wonder he got pissed off

(Jenna Talackova, the Canadian transsexual beauty queen who mired his Miss Universe pageant in controversy, and her high-powered attorney who is demanding the beauty pageant be open to all contestants, even those born male.)

Your 3rd choice

Tom Cruise is only 5’ 7”. However, with the power of technology he is able to be taller than anyone he would like ..

And Cami without make up even after plastic surgery .. If I was on my freakin computer

celebwithoutmakeup.com...

a reply to: plainsailing

You will find love if you work hard for it and have confidence in your self. People want to be withsome one who is confident, ask anyone, that is what everyone wants.

Ive always been with women that are out of my league because of confidence. If your not confident in your self... Then fake it. Eventually you will become confident and wont have to fake it.

Without confidence your basically doomed lol

a reply to: schuyler

Really? Pregnant once every few years? My brothers an i are all born a year apart from eachother. 3 of us each one born a year after the last.

a reply to: plainsailing
Most of the relationships you are referring to are not true love relationships. Most are barter relationships.

To be honest with you, out of all my friends, family, and people I know, the only ones that have, from my standpoint, an enviable relationship, are those were the spouses are aesthetically mix matched.

I think that is because in each case they were best friends before they became lovers. You see they loved each other just the way they were before the intimacies started.
As Jimmy says:

Real love would tell you .. Smile because you are beautiful

a reply to: plainsailing
Wow. how many old couples who are wrinkled and wasting away are still in love with their partner. I think you got lust and love mixed up. What about disfigured people. Looks have nothing to do with love.








Unless your shallow.

Looks mean nothing when it comes to love. You know love when you meet someone and you are completely comfortable with them from the start. It just feels good and right to be around them. If you ever had that and ignored it because the other person didn't match up to your standard of "beauty", then you lost out as it seems that's the only thing you care about.

a reply to: plainsailing

I think there's something to what you're saying. I'm going to sound really vain right now, but I'm very attractive. A lot of boys have been in love with me. A lot of girls have hated my guts because they're jealous of me. But I don't feel a need to date someone to validate myself because I know that I'm beautiful. I am not insecure. People who are insecure often need to seek out someone who is going to tell them that they're the best thing since powdered toast man--and that person who butters them up doesn't necessarily love them (just as the insecure person doesn't necessarily love them). If you aren't confident in yourself, and if you hate others because they have what you want, then you're going to be in for some trouble. I feel lucky that I was blessed with beauty and brains--even though it's really hard because finding real friends is nearly impossible and because when you have what people want, they hate you for it and it's really sad because you can't do anything about it besides put yourself down to make them feel better. People are really mean. Being attractive is painful--because people don't look at you the same way that they look at other people. My fiance isn't as attractive as I am--but he is handsome and he's good at what I'm not good at--and I'm good at what he's not good at. We are a team. We love one another. It's easier to reel in fish when you're beautiful--and it's easy to ward away the weirdos because they don't think that they have a chance with you. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. What that means is, you have to accept the way you look and who you are to some extent. Now, I'm not perfect in that. I think that I'm fat when I'm definitely not fat. But I don't see myself correctly all of the time. My fiance helps me to keep my head screwed on right.

Pretty people are not entitled, spoiled, or selfish--or not any more than everyone else. People love hating on pretty people--they're even doing it in this thread. It never stops. It's awful and I hate it.

a reply to: snypwsd

^^^^ THIS. This is the answer.

a reply to: o0oTOPCATo0o

Oh, so you don't think that pretty people have equally pretty personalities? Looks like you need to go out and get to know some pretty people, then. They're actually the nicest and kindest people out there because they've had to deal with so much b.s. and hate from people all of their lives for no other reason than that they're better looking than the general population. Beauty and brains actually go hand in hand. And we all know that the general population hates smart people and hates beautiful people. Jealousy is the worst. It's so dumb.

originally posted by: snypwsd
a reply to: schuyler

Really? Pregnant once every few years? My brothers an i are all born a year apart from eachother. 3 of us each one born a year after the last.

Perhaps you missed it, but like I said up front, finding exceptions does not nullify the generalization. Lactation tends to inhibit ovulation. That's a medical fact. Over time this reduces the number of pregnancies a woman can have. From an evolutionary standpoint, the average lifespan has historically been 28. A woman was considered marriageable at puberty, 12 to 14 (so our idea's of eligibility are modern) Each species is more or less designed to replace itself, so historically a woman can only get pregnant a few times and only one or two children will reach adulthood, thus replacing their parents. An unusually good environment with plenty of food, shelter, and peace, yields an expanding population. Your family is a good example, but it is far from average.