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Ditching your parents

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posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 03:09 PM
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a reply to: Layaly
Cassidy is only about 8 or 9 right now, and my Mother takes pretty good care of her...But yes of course I would accept her with open arms and do my best we would do our best to take care of her.
Survivor's have to stick together.




posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 10:16 PM
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a reply to: whyamIhere

That is a very young age (47)

I don't know what to call this maybe we are not friends as such here

People have obviously different definitions

All I know is I am happiest that I ever have been since joining

And there is no way I can deny the support network ATS provides

Also I feel I formed closer bonds with people here then with people in real life

I feel honoured and fortunate that I am getting a chance to know such great people



posted on Nov, 24 2015 @ 10:23 PM
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as to update what I have decided to do


my first step is to use my visa obligations as a reason I can't be doing what they want me to

I have forwarded this message to them
now I am seeking help of my agent to put my obligations into writing . Once he sends them I will forward that to them too .

i will update I just need to remain focused and rational
I just want you guys to know that I took my first step

edit on 24-11-2015 by Layaly because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 03:33 AM
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First of all, I would like to say to the people who mentioned how great their parents were, and told anecdotes of loving parents...Why did you feel the need to? I think it was rather inappropriate and off topic, not to mention not helpful to the OP.

OP, you are doing the right thing. You parents may not be physically abusive, but they are mentally and emotionally abusive. Just because you can't see the wounds, doesn't mean they aren't real. You have an obligation to yourself to protect yourself from further damage.



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 03:40 AM
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originally posted by: whyamIhere
Both my Parents are dead.

I would chop off my right arm to see either one for 10 seconds.

Just to say I love you one more time.

Grow up...


So are mine, they died many years ago, but I wouldn't want to see either one of them again, they were not good people.

a reply to: Astyanax



Do not allow yourself to be estranged from your parents. They will get sick or die and then you will be prey to guilt, remorse and self-loathing for the rest of your life.

I heard this a lot before my mom died. Nope, didn't happen, I only felt relief that she couldn't hurt me anymore.



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 03:47 AM
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a reply to: calstorm

Lol I was caving in again then I saw your reply
Your words ... thank you

I loved the wounds comment thank you
You saved me from bursting into tears just then I am smiling so thank you



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 10:26 AM
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Well done for taking the first step - a journey of a thousand miles and all that


Try and remember that, at the moment, you are free to come on here and discuss your options with us. If you let your name be used for any business of theirs, you will be stuck with them and it could be very hard to extricate yourself.

Really, don't sign away your freedom.



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 10:44 AM
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a reply to: berenike

Tomorrow I will tell them my visa req me to be where I am for a minimum of 2 years not true but (we live opposite of state) I say my visa is state nominated.. The visa exists is just that it's not mine but there is no way of finding that out
So I will see .. this is the most scary bit ..
edit on 25-11-2015 by Layaly because: (no reason given)

edit on 25-11-2015 by Layaly because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 09:09 PM
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originally posted by: Layaly
a reply to: berenike

Tomorrow I will tell them my visa req me to be where I am for a minimum of 2 years not true but (we live opposite of state) I say my visa is state nominated.. The visa exists is just that it's not mine but there is no way of finding that out
So I will see .. this is the most scary bit ..


Every time you say " no" to them. It will get easier each time. You will grow stronger each time. Protect yourself by Setting your boundaries, and do not let them , or anyone , cross them. Stay true to yourself ! .... And don't let them guilt you into feeling you must help them. That's just a bunch of crap. They're adults and can do it on their own. Just say No !... And if your mother wants to pretend to faint , then let her. Let her act out in a dramatic fashion and act all she wants. Just remember it IS just a act to get at your emotions to get her way. And that is totally unacceptable. The next time she pulls that move....just stare at her blankly . Do not run to her , just let her have her little emotional tantrum. And when she's done wailing and acting up....then stare at her blankly and ask " Are you Done ?" ....shell start to understand that she's not fooling you anymore pretty quickly......and for Gods sake, Do not associate you or your Visa with any one who has killed your Bunny on purpose ! That's just Bad people, and Bad Karma all the way around . Stay true to you and your Bunny !



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 09:27 PM
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a reply to: Layaly

Yep ditch them .

I told my Father to gtfo of my life years ago , i was raised by my grandparents and life was good my mother can be a pain sometimes as she is very needy but she has been told that i buried the folk who raised me , i think she gets it



good luck .

ps you look like a lovely lady in your avatar



posted on Nov, 25 2015 @ 10:31 PM
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Ok I am forwarding my e-mail in an hour or so .. and wait

Thank you I am sorry I need you all its like someone is finally willing to stand up for me I ve been doing this on my own far too long lost the will to fight

I put my face up so I don't forget who am I doing this for .. That girl in the picture who is not a bad person and deserves to be happy like all of us do

I feel so yuck but then I am happy I see all the replies you all make me feel like everything will be alright I wish I could return the favour but I have nothing right now

edit on 25-11-2015 by Layaly because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 26 2015 @ 03:47 AM
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I think you a all just pulled someone out of a deep f*** hole

I am not going to be excited just yet but

All I can say is that joining this forum and writing this tread could possibly be the best thing I have done in my life
Crazy


I am still not in clear but it looks promising




edit on 26-11-2015 by Layaly because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 26 2015 @ 03:51 AM
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a reply to: Layaly

You are awesome.

Keep it up.



posted on Nov, 26 2015 @ 04:45 AM
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Stay strong and be proud of yourself. I am so glad that my words were beneficial to you. It is truly wonderful to see the support you have been shown by others.



posted on Nov, 26 2015 @ 05:19 AM
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Just checking in - you'll be alright.

Just remember how much worse the alternative to standing up to them would be.
edit on 26-11-2015 by berenike because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 28 2015 @ 01:10 AM
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a reply to: berenike

why did you leave? if it's too personal I understand .. and sorry you shocked me with your reply .. I blocked you out in my head .. because I do care .. you are so nice but feel a little closed of keeping conversation at a healthy distance .. I can't find a response from you were you would loose control .. i had to think about asking you what is the story but I wanted to be in the right head space .. 16 in that situation .. I do want to know I can't imagine

with me so far so good there are still moments .. Out of blue and they flip but I am able to flip it back so .. thank you for making me
I liked that command .. somethings psychological about it.. like someone with authority took charge of the situation when I felt helpless .. it's crazy given this is cyber world and not the reality but still there you go it worked




edit on 28-11-2015 by Layaly because: (no reason given)

edit on 28-11-2015 by Layaly because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 28 2015 @ 05:32 AM
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a reply to: Layaly

I'm glad if I'm helping you. The goal is for you to live a happy and independent life. Just keep that in mind


Why did I leave home? Abusive mother, antagonistic sibling and my mother's very jealous partner who she always sided with regardless of how badly he was treating her. I didn't need any of them.



posted on Nov, 28 2015 @ 06:13 AM
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a reply to: berenike

Did you tell them you were leaving?



posted on Nov, 28 2015 @ 11:01 AM
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originally posted by: Layaly
a reply to: berenike

Did you tell them you were leaving?


Yes, it was quite amicable at first but things went wrong. A few months after that I moved to the City and left them to it.

I'm guessing it's a survival mechanism when a woman chooses her partner over her kids. No worries to me, it saved me from being burdened later on. And I was extremely civilised about things when she died. Visited her and behaved myself. Comforted him over the phone after she'd gone - and he was the one I really wanted to keep out of the way of.



posted on Dec, 12 2015 @ 03:58 PM
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Any updates ?....and Are you staying strong and firm to saying " No! " to your mom and her boyfriend ?



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