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I'm 28 years old, I've never had a girlfriend or kissed anyone ever

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posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 06:30 AM
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originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: anobody

Have you considered buying Fallout 4?


So, the OP is clearly really depressed and really upset about his situation.
It seems he actually created an account just to try and get some sort of advice from ATS.
He infers in his first thread on here that he possibly feels suicidal feelings about the whole situation.

And what does he get to read as the first response to his first post?

You... making a weak attempt at comedy by telling him he should play a computer game which has just been released...
Really?




posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 06:33 AM
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a reply to: Iamnotadoctor

i dont believe the op is suicidal judging by the rest of his posts ive read. Of course i could be wrong but im sure he will chime in to let us know if he wants. I think its called a hyperbole.

Read my signature.

edit on 19-11-2015 by ElOmen because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 06:37 AM
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originally posted by: ElOmen
a reply to: Iamnotadoctor

i dont believe the op is suicidal judging by the rest of his posts ive read.


No, but he is most certainly depressed and having troubles socializing (self-admittedly) and yet almost no one in this thread is considering these two issues as the main reasons why he is still single.

Amazing.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 06:41 AM
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a reply to: anobody

You are one brave SOB



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 06:53 AM
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a reply to: ElOmen

Read his initial post again.
This isn't about you anyway. Your first post was respectful, and requested more info.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 07:01 AM
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Go to church and ask the preacher or whatever if they have a singles group. Meet women dont be afraid to talk to them. Look your already lonely if they say no who cares your in the same spot you were before. At least try. Coffee shops are another good place to meet but it does come down to do you have enough balls to start and continue a conversation with someone. If you come off as a weakling crybaby women will be disgusted by you. So man up. Another alternative is to work as a bar back in a club or bar. Women who go to bars hit on the staff all the time because they think they are safe and not a threat to them. If your a nerd get involved in a nerd group where you can meet people that have the same interests as you look up on meetups. Wine groups single groups whatever. You would be surprised how many single lonely women there are. Online dating is a huge wsste of time. Go to places where women are take a yoga class and dont be a perv sit in the front row! After a few weeks they will notice you and start talking to you. Smile when you see a girl at yoga do not stare. They will come to you to find out more about you. If shes talking to you she probably is interested. Ask them to get coffee. If she says yes she is probably interested. Ask her what she is looking for in a boyfriend . If you tell her you have been single just tell her when you were in your early twenties you were waiting for marriage. She will think its cute. Tell her you have dated a few girls here and there but you were a workaholic and had weird shifts so it was hard to date. After you get a dinner date you can slways ask if shed like to hang at your place for a movie. Have wine at the house or a blender to make mixed drinks with frozen strawberries and vodka or bacardi. Alcohol is a sexual lubricant used since ancient times. Dont get her drunk get her loose. Watch a good movie like titanic or the notebook. Bust a move and kiss her tell her shes pretty. Keep kissing her. Tell her you think shes a godess and you would like her to dpend the night. Prostitution should not even be an option. Thats how you get diseases. Good luck.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 07:14 AM
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Being single is awesome. So there is nothing wrong with being single. Women can be a pain in the butt. Relationships last a few years then end, marriage is unrealistic unless you really find someone special. Most marriages dont last because people are selfish and self absorbed. Or they find someone that interests them more so they cheat or leave. Or couples stop having sex and cause so much resentment that they grow apart. But living in fear like you do is bad. You seem like you have low self esteem and social anxiety. Change that. Learn to say I dont care what people think. Be a happy outgoing person. Smile at people. Smiles make the world go around man. Get out of your apartment and enjoy life. Think positive even if you have to force yoursrlf too.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 07:23 AM
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a reply to: anobody


Get yourself out into every possible social situation ....After all

You have to be in it to WIN it



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 08:06 AM
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a reply to: anobody

I can help. First of all, there's no pressure on you to do anything. If you don't want to be with another person then don't. It's ok and perfectly normal. Next, you need to focus on building friendships. You're probably of higher intelligence than the average person which means you make more intellectual connections. What makes this so difficult for you is that everything you see and read promotes sex as the gateway to love and that's simply not true. Even your friends probably brag about hooking up. It's not you. Defend that stance and the girl who feels the same way will respect you. Before your first kiss comes you need to make a girl smile. I use my sense of humor to create a connection. Also, don't force a moment. Going to a bar to pick someone up will not work for you. It doesn't work for me either. It's too forced. The real way to ease into meeting a girl is by working close with them or doing activities that break down walls. It's not just about their comfort zone, but yours as well. Build up your confidence by being the great person you see yourself as. When I accepted that I was not at my full potential a lot of doors opened up. Because of that I have met girls at work, ice climbing, skiing, the gym, getting my haircut, and many many other places. The entranceway is very narrow, but the next room is very wide. This isn't about how others look at you. It's how you look at yourself. You deserve someone. That's all there is too it. Even Hitler had a girlfriend. Oh and make eye contact! Express your feelings and interest towards the girl with your eyes. They want you to do that. They get all dressed up just for that one moment. The potential to express and share emotions. Sex is apart of their emotional wiring and that just comes. You'll be fine and I don't think you're weird.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 08:19 AM
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originally posted by: BrokedownChevy
Even Hitler had a girlfriend.


Oh boy! What an awesome thing to say to someone with self-confidence issues like the OP:

"You know, EVEN a monster like Hitler had a girlfriend, so why not you?"


Dear lord, some people really have no clue how human interactions are supposed to work. No wonder they almost need to be handled a flowchart on "how to have fun with another person in a social context".

Some people really love to imagine life is like a computer RPG and if you select the correct dialog options you get the desired outcome.

Jesus Christ people are not robots. There are no correct recipes for socializing. Everyone is different. The only thing that matters is that you need to love yourself first if you want people to love you. And I'm baffled that most people here missed the fact that OP has self-esteem issues.

Or maybe they are attracted to this thread because they too have issues with social interactions and reading people?
edit on 19-11-2015 by gggilll because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 08:30 AM
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First off, if you are still reading along with us OP, you are clearly not alone. Several people have expressed that they feel the same as you. Life is always worth living.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe the girls you are speaking to are just as nervous as you? It is a two sided game to be played. Women are a bit better at pulling off confidence when they are a jumbled mess of nerves on the inside. Just go into any new conversations with that thought in mind. Make her laugh. Get through her nervousness.

Develop a corny joke that you can pull off with confidence. Maybe a genuine funny story about your youth, whatever it takes to break that first smile, then you are in. Even if you have to use the story on a dozen girls before you get that smile, it's fine.

BTW - I'm a woman, and yes, more often than not nervous when meeting new people. Good luck, and don't rush it.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 09:07 AM
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What about finding a female friend on the internet from places like Thailand / Vietnam / or China ..? do you have friends that they can introduce you to the opposite sex...! at parties or group gatherings. Only one way to find out is to get involve.. 20049690]anobody[/post]



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 09:23 AM
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a reply to: anobody

You could start a new Producing/Directing career, with low-budget films - try to make a real-life version of Brokeback Mtn 2 (with Chicks) - it'll be a hit! BB Mtn 2: The Fur Traders LOL



In all seriousness - don't put too much thought into this. It's all about finding someone you eventually can open up to, someone who you feel comfortable around and who understands you. That takes a lot of time and searching. My dad is 59 and just now is meeting someone and having a loving experience. You never know how long it will take. But there are a lot of options out there.

Look for social events your work is hosting, or volunteering, there are plenty of ways to meet people. Wishing you the best of luck - PS you are a SOMEBODY, not a nobody. Nobody's a nobody
You are more special than you think, I would bet!
edit on 19-11-2015 by FamCore because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 09:54 AM
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originally posted by: Iamnotadoctor

originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: anobody

Have you considered buying Fallout 4?


So, the OP is clearly really depressed and really upset about his situation.
It seems he actually created an account just to try and get some sort of advice from ATS.
He infers in his first thread on here that he possibly feels suicidal feelings about the whole situation.

And what does he get to read as the first response to his first post?

You... making a weak attempt at comedy by telling him he should play a computer game which has just been released...
Really?


Chill bro...making it much bigger than it needs to be. If the man is suicidal it has nothing to do with him not kissing another woman. It's deeper than that.

What I would suggest to the OP is download Tinder and you will find someone. Also work on your communication. Their are tools you can lookup that you can practice at home. It does not matter how good looking a person is, if they can't communicate no one will be attracted to them. Come on dude you can do this.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 10:25 AM
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a reply to: anobody

Perhaps you could get a t-shirt that says" Free Hugs:" and below that, "Looking for MS Right." Now, walk around the nearest shopping mall. You'll be in the money, pal....woo hoo - Winner Winner Perdue Dinner !!


edit on 10 27 2013 by donktheclown because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 10:27 AM
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a reply to: anobody

Don't go to Bangkok



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 10:45 AM
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Listen, I'm a long time lurker and signed up because I don't think anyone deserves to feel alone or lonely or anything like that. We've all been there and it's a crappy feeling. Some thoughts / ideas for you:

- You say you keep up well with hygiene and such, so take it to the next level. Head out and buy yourself some new clothes or at least a "going out" outfit and maybe a new haircut - don't be afraid to switch it up. Have people at whatever store you enjoy shopping at put something together for you if need be, but get something you not only feel comfortable in, but makes you feel good about yourself. You don't need to replace your entire wardrobe, but get some threads that make you confident - girls sense confidence and you'll exude that without saying a word if you feel good about what you're wearing. Putting on a nice outfit already puts you head and shoulders above the guy wearing a tee and a backwards baseball hat.

- Someone earlier mentioned having a couple drinks and just letting it kind of hang out and I wholeheartedly endorse that. Every guy has been shut down, laughed off, told to take a hike and had drinks sent back to them they've bought for other girls. It sucks, but only momentarily and don't let it have a huge impact on your night - I've hit on 8 or 9 girls in a night and gotten absolutely nowhere. However, I've also hit on 4 girls and walked away with 4 phone numbers so a few no's really mean nothing. Offer to buy a girl a drink or a cup of coffee, compliment something about her that attracted you to her (smile, hair, eyes, etc.), comment on the weather or the song that's playing in the bar...whatever. Worse case is you get shut down a few times, you and your buddy laugh it off and you get a little drunk.

- Also, sometimes it's good to step outside your comfort zone a little. Maybe take up an activity which will increase your communication skills out of necessity for the activity - it's one of those things you're going to struggle through at first, but if it leads to you bettering yourself in a way you want to, it's worth the fight. Eventually, that discomfort becomes normal for you and you'll find yourself in less and less "uncomfortable" situations.

- If you're really lonely, get a pet! Before I met my wife, I spent the majority of my time playing video games, drinking beers and hanging with my two cats. If you have the time, get a dog! The dog park is a FANTASTIC place to meet someone you already have something in common with AND you always have someone to hang out with too. I took my friends dog for a walk in the city one afternoon and cannot tell you how many girls stopped and did the whole "awww! omg! what's his/her name? he's/she's SO cute!" Now I'm not advocating getting a dog as a way of picking up girls because they're also a huge responsibility, but if you have the time to devote to them, they're the best companions ever. Cats are cool too, btw.


- Get some wingmen. Even if it's one of your buddies, drag him/her out with you and have them play wingman for a night. The whole, "My friend over there thinks you're really pretty but he's also really shy" helps you to a) not get dejected by direct rejection if she's not interested and b) establishes a level of comfort with her via a 3rd party. Now your friend acts as a mediator and can help generate conversation if you're communication skills don't lend themselves to those terrible, ice-breaker-ish first questions (where are you from?, what do you do?, etc.)

- Keep your eyes open no matter where you are. I've met girls at leadership conferences, previous jobs, on the soccer field, at a bar, in the bookstore... My point is, if you're out doing something you naturally enjoy (well maybe not work,
) you have a conversation starter already and you're halfway there. When you do strike up a conversation, listen to what they say and generally be interested - don't worry about your response or what you'll say next - so you can branch off of one topic to another and keep the convo flowing naturally.

- Lastly, just remember to be yourself dude. Don't change into someone you're not and don't try and come off as someone you're not. My wife loves me whether I play 3 hours of Fallout or paint the dining room. When you meet the right girl, she's going to love you for who you are - geeky, spazzed out, sexy, intelligent, whatever. She might make you a better dresser or make you a little cleaner, but everything at your core will always be you and I promise you'll find someone who's going to accept that, love it and make you feel like a boss.

Feel free to message me or whatever if you want any more advice. I'm happy to give it and I believe everyone should find love and happiness and someone to spend time with. Good luck my man!



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 10:57 AM
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Hay man don't get yourself down like that. Plenty of good girls out there for you.

I would suggest volunteering or joining some kind of recreational activity that's got a lot of girls involved. Dont rush things and don't be the creepy guy. Simply be kind and respectful and helpful.

Wash your face shave and dress well. If you still dress like you did in school(childish) you will be overlooked. Buy a good bottle of cologne I recommend Sean johns unforgivable or original Hugo Boss. Don't over use it either a little goes along way.

If it your confidence that's lacking due to never having zero sexual experience as one above posters recommended find a good looking escort for the night make sure you wrap it. Just don't get the idea all girls are like your escort remember it was just training mission.

Above all respect yourself if you feel like the escort solution is beneath you don't do it. Once you have established a friendship or some form of relation with the opposite sex or same if your into that. Offer to take them out for dinner. The way to the nookie is often through the stomach. A full belly and couple of drinks only leave one urge left to be satisfied


Wish you all the best

a reply to: anobody



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 10:58 AM
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Hey OP, no worries. My husband was similar. It will happen.

One thing to remember in all awkward social situations - fake it 'til you make it. Just go fearlessly through the motions and soon it will get easier and come more naturally.

Also, get involved in some sort of group activity in your area. Some cities have groups that host activities for singletons like bike rides, canoe trips or other types of mixers.

You won't find a real life on the internet.



posted on Nov, 19 2015 @ 11:02 AM
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a reply to: anobody
My advice to you would be, don't worry too much about it. I have always been very shy, never had a girlfriend at school or college, never had been with a girl intimately and never even tried online dating.

When I was at school I did chase after the girls, even asked a couple out, but they all said no. Eventually I stopped chasing.

All my friends constantly got on to me about finding someone, many people believed that I was gay because I'd never been with a girl.
One of my friends kept mentioning going to a prostitute, but I wasn't bothered about not having sex. It wasn't a factor of my life and so wasn't important at all to me.
When I went out to night clubs and the like, I was looking around at the pretty ladies, but didn't even cross my mind to approach any of them, it was like I'd given up finding a girlfriend myself.

Then about a year and a half ago, one of my work mates (who I actually found attractive from the day she started a year previous) let me know that she liked me.
Apparently, unbeknown to myself, she'd been flirting with me since she started. Looking back on the time we spent together doing jobs etc. and going out on works do's, I can see where she was flirting, but at the time I was oblivious.

We've been together now for a little over 1½ years and I'm loving it.

Oh yeah, I'll soon be turning 38.
In short, don't give up yet, you never know who may be just around the corner waiting to meet you.


edit on 19/11/2015 by doogle because: (no reason given)




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