Listen, I'm a long time lurker and signed up because I don't think anyone deserves to feel alone or lonely or anything like that. We've all been
there and it's a crappy feeling. Some thoughts / ideas for you:
- You say you keep up well with hygiene and such, so take it to the next level. Head out and buy yourself some new clothes or at least a "going out"
outfit and maybe a new haircut - don't be afraid to switch it up. Have people at whatever store you enjoy shopping at put something together for you
if need be, but get something you not only feel comfortable in, but makes you feel good about yourself. You don't need to replace your entire
wardrobe, but get some threads that make you confident - girls sense confidence and you'll exude that without saying a word if you feel good about
what you're wearing. Putting on a nice outfit already puts you head and shoulders above the guy wearing a tee and a backwards baseball hat.
- Someone earlier mentioned having a couple drinks and just letting it kind of hang out and I wholeheartedly endorse that. Every guy has been shut
down, laughed off, told to take a hike and had drinks sent back to them they've bought for other girls. It sucks, but only momentarily and don't let
it have a huge impact on your night - I've hit on 8 or 9 girls in a night and gotten absolutely nowhere. However, I've also hit on 4 girls and walked
away with 4 phone numbers so a few no's really mean nothing. Offer to buy a girl a drink or a cup of coffee, compliment something about her that
attracted you to her (smile, hair, eyes, etc.), comment on the weather or the song that's playing in the bar...whatever. Worse case is you get shut
down a few times, you and your buddy laugh it off and you get a little drunk.
- Also, sometimes it's good to step outside your comfort zone a little. Maybe take up an activity which will increase your communication skills out
of necessity for the activity - it's one of those things you're going to struggle through at first, but if it leads to you bettering yourself in a way
you want to, it's worth the fight. Eventually, that discomfort becomes normal for you and you'll find yourself in less and less "uncomfortable"
- If you're really lonely, get a pet! Before I met my wife, I spent the majority of my time playing video games, drinking beers and hanging with my
two cats. If you have the time, get a dog! The dog park is a FANTASTIC place to meet someone you already have something in common with AND you
always have someone to hang out with too. I took my friends dog for a walk in the city one afternoon and cannot tell you how many girls stopped and
did the whole "awww! omg! what's his/her name? he's/she's SO cute!" Now I'm not advocating getting a dog as a way of picking up girls because they're
also a huge responsibility, but if you have the time to devote to them, they're the best companions ever. Cats are cool too, btw.
- Get some wingmen. Even if it's one of your buddies, drag him/her out with you and have them play wingman for a night. The whole, "My friend over
there thinks you're really pretty but he's also really shy" helps you to a) not get dejected by direct rejection if she's not interested and b)
establishes a level of comfort with her via a 3rd party. Now your friend acts as a mediator and can help generate conversation if you're communication
skills don't lend themselves to those terrible, ice-breaker-ish first questions (where are you from?, what do you do?, etc.)
- Keep your eyes open no matter where you are. I've met girls at leadership conferences, previous jobs, on the soccer field, at a bar, in the
bookstore... My point is, if you're out doing something you naturally enjoy (well maybe not work,
) you have a conversation starter already and
you're halfway there. When you do strike up a conversation, listen to what they say and generally be interested - don't worry about your response or
what you'll say next - so you can branch off of one topic to another and keep the convo flowing naturally.
- Lastly, just remember to be yourself dude. Don't change into someone you're not and don't try and come off as someone you're not. My wife loves me
whether I play 3 hours of Fallout or paint the dining room. When you meet the right girl, she's going to love you for who you are - geeky, spazzed
out, sexy, intelligent, whatever. She might make you a better dresser or make you a little cleaner, but everything at your core will always be you
and I promise you'll find someone who's going to accept that, love it and make you feel like a boss.
Feel free to message me or whatever if you want any more advice. I'm happy to give it and I believe everyone should find love and happiness and
someone to spend time with. Good luck my man!