posted on Nov, 18 2015 @ 11:00 AM
I am so angry at myself that I am at this place, yet once again.
Me and this guy first met 5 years ago, we began as friends with benefits but later began dating and became an item, it was I who wanted that because I
began having feelings for him.
I believe the first time we were together almost 1 year.
But during this relationship he wanted sex everytime we met, we only met 1-2 times a week.
There was a lot of pressure, I wanted to keep him so I wanted to give him what he wanted and even though most of the times I wasn't in the mood I
gave in anyways.
But he never took me places, we were always at home. I took him out for a trip one time because I wanted a fun memory.
After a while I gave up, he never treated me like a girlfriend it felt like. I ended the relationship. His response, ok.
A few months later he began taking contact with me again, my love flared up, I thought maybe it would be better this time. He asked how I was and then
he began talking about all the wonderful sexual memories he had of us.
We gave it a try but this time it was worse than before, he stepped in as if we had been married for 10 years, still wanting sex everytime, it only
lasted 3-4 months, the pressure was too much, also I was home all alone during Christmas that year and he didn't even invite me home to his family
for Christmas. an invite doesn't mean I would have accepted but it is the polite thing to do if your GF is all alone during Christmas.
It was shortly after that I ended it.
3.rd time. 1 year later, he took contact again, same stuff, sexual memories, how he missed everything we had. And me who fall for it everytime wanted
to give it a try, thinking, now or never again.
We sat down and had a serious talk about what our goals were, what we wanted with the relationship.
The good part lasted maybe a month, then it went south again, but this time he had become sick, and I wanted to be by his side, though even with his
illness he always wanted to have sex. I just wanted to be there for him, take care of him, let him talk to me and so on. Actually that time was a
little better for me because I cared more that time, I wanted to make him better. This time he ended it because he didn't feel he had the energy for
a relationship due to his illness and he needed to take some time away.
I got very sad to be honest, but I let him go.
That time I broke all contact, no social media, no phone, nothing, i didnt want to be reminded or have him contacting me again.
But, 1,5 years later he took up contact again, saying he was much better now and how he missed me and all the sexual memories he had.
I was sort of sick of it now, but I missed him. All he spoke about was sex, his texts sex, on social media sex. Sex pictures all the time.
I told him, you have to stop with all of these sex stuff, it's off putting and I feel alot of pressure when I am with you that I must have sex with
you every time.
This is on going now, we are not officially together but sort of... But I am at that point now that I just don't trust him anymore.
We spoke again, I said how I felt with the pressure and him being all over me 24/7 and not wanting to do anything else but come over to me and sit on
the sofa making out that will lead to sex. I want to have fun, fun memories, short trips, movies, dinner, something, anything.
He wheeled me in this time by saying how much he wanted to have a baby with me, and he knows I really want kids.
So I pictured this whole happy family thing in my head.
Now he tells me he loves me everyday, every hour it is frikkin annoying, when u say it too much it's like you are overdoing it and it feels like
I have only had sex with him 3 times during 3 months, and thats because I wanted it, might sound selfish but seriously, this time I will only give it
when I want it!
5 years, I haven't met his parents, he never let me meet them, why?
5 years, he is like a boy in puberty wanting to hump me 24/7 when we are alone, but outside or among people he barely touches me, why?
5 years, never done anything romantic with me, why?
I no longer want him around, I feel almost face raped when he is around, I can't relax. I just don't trust him.
My previous boyfriends took me to meet their families within a month of our relationship and brought me to family gatherings and family birthday
parties, took me out on movies, dinners, to their friends, never ever pressured me about anything, I could sleep next to them and feel safe, that they
wouldn't try anything with me, that was real cuddle.
They held my hand in public, kissed me in front of their friends and family and mine.
See my point. But why the hell do I keep falling for his trap. Is he smooth with his words, can it really be he is playing me or is he simply a
sexfreak and lazy as hell who just don't know how to treat a woman?
But in a relationship you are supposed to trust the one you are with, wanting to be with them and feel safe with them.
I don't with him. I can't help looking back and seeing all the signs.
Before he didn't even talk with me when I was on my period, he didn't come for a visit either. He knows I don't have sex when I am on my period.
Guys, and women... what do you think... is he playing with me or is he just lazy?