Can you defend bringing a child into the world?

I am a Mom of a young child, and there are honestly days when I think 'God, what a horrible thing I have done, inflicting this world on another soul'.

But look at that sentence... it is just as self-centered as saying 'I need a child'. The thought of how horrible I must be is about my fear and my doubt. Not about my child.

I believe her soul would have come into this realm one way or the other. She is only mine in the smallest physical ways, for the briefest of times. Having her (and her Daddy) in my life is a grace I probably don't deserve. All I can do is give them the best parts of me.

I totally get why you feel the way you do.

I agree with you, OP. Our species is nowhere near extinction. The far more serious problem we are facing are people being born into families and societies that can't handle another mouth to feed. The resources of this planet can only handle so many. Once that limit is reached, each new person brought into the world will lower the standard of living for everyone. I don't know if we have reached that limit, but we certainly aren't far away. You have the power to choose not to follow your genetic programming. We aren't animals. If you disagree, then whatever, breed like rabbits. I hope your children and grandchildren enjoy the world they inherit.

a reply to: Profusion

A child is the future and to have a better future we should make better people.

Egocentrism is clearly ruling the world more than 6000 years already. The cruelty committed to gain power by all civilizations is indescribable. Also today cruelty (mental and physical) still is a way that leads to money and power. But those who think that now is more worse than (let's say) in Roman times: they think wrong. It goes the right way no matter how many cruel things still happen. Prior times were far more barbaric.
Although to accelerate the pace into the direction of a better world something fundamentally must change.
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Although the technology of the future will allow earth to carry some more billions of people, we'd better focus on quality rather than on quantity. In other words, there are enough people on this planet. Let us not make more, but better people. Not power or prestige, but making a 'righteous child' should be the highest goal. More: it should be the only thing that really matters, no matter how soft this may sound. And it’s up to women to take the first steps to make this come true.

from: www.evawaseerst.be...

I personally believe that the world is just as 'bad' as it's always been...and will always be. Perpetual motion is real, it's called oppositional forces. Without conflict there would be no energy in the universe. The Earth is a powerhouse. I believe my personal experience is a great starting point for my children. I don't censor anything, I acknowledge and explain as thoroughly as possible. All I ever wanted was to be a mother, and I'm not trying to brag but I'm pretty damn good at it. I'm proud to be ONE mo fo that's putting in the effort to create decent human beings.

Having said that, I think the upsurgence of people making the choice to NOT have children is fantastic! Part of what has created so many effed up people over the years has been the pressure from society to procreate. People popping out kids because it was expected of them, not because they really wanted them. And it still goes on! If a young married couple makes the decision NOT to have kids they still face crap for people. HEY! Leave them alone, if someone doesn't feel like having kids then that is exactly who should not have kids. I'm really glad that it's becoming more socially acceptable to stay childless, if this trend continues I believe we'll eventually see a general improvement in humans.

a reply to: Profusion

I've felt the same way that you do about this subject. A friend of mine just got married and he and his wife both swore off having children because they too recognized "it's all going to hell", and overpopulation, and so on and so forth.

My wife and I feel the same way, but here's the biggest issue, which really is likely the only issue for almost everyone. Nature.

Naturally, as a biological species, we're driven to reproduce. It's simply a natural instinct to further the species. This single obstacle is the biggest hurdle everyone has when it comes to reproduction. It doesn't matter how poor you are, if you feel like your relationship will soon end, if you feel like committing suicide in the near future, we are intrinsically related to the need for reproduction (some more some less, as biology is ever varying).

So despite our calculations for the near future, we still feel like we want kids (a single kid, just to clarify). For us, personally, the choice (which it very much is a choice) is on a balancing board right now, and although our speculation for the future looks very poor, it's still a natural instinct we're trying to shake away.

I stumbled across this video and thought I would share.

Now is a much better time to have children than in ancient times. Imagine bringing a child into the world out in the cold with no shelter, very little food, no hospital, very little medicine and much less knowledge of what actually works or doesn't for different ailments and sicknesses.

On a very basic level to survive and live man needs water food shelter fencing, black smithing, horses, wagons, pigs, cows, chickens and barns out houses and beer almost forgot that one oh and mamma likes a little wine, just a little.

We have so much more than that today but we get it a different way which I'm not too fond of. Its called work!. Today someone else fences animals in for food and we buy it from them. So now instead of butchering hogs soon as it turns good and cold every year so well have pork all year we go to the grocery store and buy pig if we choose.

I want a farm right now today. Problem is in today's times it cost a lot more than just finding a piece of land and claiming it like folks have done in the past. It cost more than I can even borrow money and pay back in 30 years. If I could get it, step out on a limb, take a chance, spend every dime I ever hope to make to get it, then that G## ######d uncle sam is going to be knocking on the door wanting his due land tax.

Our grand fathers saw a time when they could get hundreds of acres for nearly nothing, you know providing they earned a decent living and worked hard, they could get it. Now you can't even leave massive tracks of land to your children without them being capitol gained taxed on it to the point where they'd have to sell the land to pay the taxes.

These are some of the things that irritate me today but life is still worth living and having children for the last 22 years have been like wood in a fire place or fuel to propel me on man, I live for them.

We have it better today in so many ways but other ways we've seen it better in the past.

All ages are bad.. That being said.

Even in this doom and gloom age I can justify having kids..
I am not the one making it doom and gloom on purpose...
Others are..
I disagree with them...
Why would I allow their genes to become dominant in this world and not my own?
I raise my kids not to be, not to act and not to think like them.
If I didn't had kids they would win

a reply to: Profusion

S + F to you. I made the same decision and also having trouble recognising human beings. There are vile people everywhere and there is no point bringing a child in this world.

I remember how, a few decades ago, I would advise people not to miss the chance of being like a god and create a living being (an ultimate magical act , I would call it). But that was a long time ago, when the majority of humans still had a heart.

Fate has been good to me so far. No children despite a lot of carelessness.

I never intended to have children, but a child came into my life (quite miraculously in fact). I would never change it for anything. I was pushing 30 and getting pretty bored with myself despite having a satisfying occupation and plenty of interesting hobbies and talents. When I became a parent my life was infused with new meaning, new strength and determination. I'm a much better version of myself now. That being said, I totally support your conscious decision not to have children. If people with your worldview would all agree to do the same, natural selection would eventually yield an enhanced populace, full of vitality, viability, and ingenuity. The force (Life Force) is strong with some, and weak with others. If I were you (and I have felt the way you feel) I would strive HARD to shift my focus and give happiness a chance.
I mean, for someone who is free of any parental burdens, you seem to have a toxic fixation on this issue. Why not focus on self realization instead of parent-hating? Go dancing, invent something, create artwork, travel, go into the desert and have a shamanic experience, learn kung fu. Work toward being the most interesting person you can be and life will seem much more rewarding to you.

M