posted on Nov, 10 2015 @ 03:04 PM
Welcome to Bothered Pines Mobile Home Estates
SUNDAY, MAY 01, 2005
Meet the staff
Now then, just ease on over to the rental office and take a seat. Uncle Percy will be with y’all shortly. Be sure to have the first month’s rent
in exact cash and ready ‘cause Percy cain’t count too well.
Here’s the rules:
No pets. That means no dogs, cats, possums, birds, snakes, gerbils or raccoons are allowed on the premises in any way, shape or form. The sole
exception to this rule is cockroach bugs and you’ll be happy to know that you won’t have to look very hard to find a few to make friends with.
Younguns are ok but you gotta keep ‘em under control! We don’t cotton to having a bunch of mealy-mouthed brats running around and creating a
ruckus and if we catch one, we gonna feed ‘em to old Guthrie. (Guthrie being the gator down in Mill Silt Pond).
You are required to keep at least one non-running pick-up truck on cinder blocks at all times! This may be displayed in your front yard or driveway.
Plain old cars are OK iffens you ain’t got no truck.
Unused, nonworking appliances can be stored on your porch so long as you don’t cover them with nuthin.
You must maintain no less than 12 empty beer cans within eye-shot of the road. Them what are in the back of the broke down truck or car don’t
MONDAY, MAY 02, 2005
To: Residents and Visitors of Bothered Pines Mobile Home Estates
From: Percy Pepper, Proprietor
There will be no more hunting in the park! Theodis Briggs has his pants full of buck-shot this morning ‘cause somebody mistook him for either a wild
turkey or a deer. Now, how in the hell anyone could mistake old Theodis is beyond me! He is 6 foot, 5 fingers tall and got a beard as long as an
August day! He don’t look nuthin’ like a doggone turkey or bambi neither!
The way I figure it, one of you been turning the bottle too high and got shine-blinded! Tell your wife to put the shells in her cookie jar until you
Nuff said on that... Aunt Curdle has a few choice words for y’all too.
The Greater Possum Rot Free Will Church of the Almighty Rock will be having its annual rummage sale this Wednesday. Iffens y’all got something that
you don’t want and would like to put a down payment on your ticket to glory, just drop it off at the church parking lot. Oh, and Reverend Jeremiah
Amos Dandy will personally be saying prayers for each donor. Hallay-yullia!
Also, LeeAnn Pester’s Golden Comb Beauty Emporium is running specials on streaking and highlighting. All you gals what got them dark roots growing
over yer ears will be interested in this and the rest of us will appreciate yer attention to this matter.
One more thing. One of y’all gots a youngun who has a habit of leaving ABC gum in his pants pockets and that is sho nuff gumming up my Kelvinator.
So if y’all would be so kind as to empty your little crumb-snatcher’s pockets before dropping off yer laundry, it would make my life a helluva lot
May the good Lord take a liken to ya before the undertaker can.
TUESDAY, MAY 03, 2005
I guess now is as good a time as ever to give y’all a little low-down on our little corner of Alabama. You see, wayyy back during Hoover’s
depression, things was really bad down here. Was down right primitive compared to now and to be honest, I wasn’t here back then... but the story
goes something like this...
Nobody back then had electricity or indoor water taps or actual-to-goodness bathrooms (ceptin' for outhouses). The roads were mostly old horse trails.
But then came Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal and the CCC and WPA. They came a calling and with them came better roads and all kinds of electrical
wires, telephone poles and better water too!
What they did was to set up base camps along side RR tracks where they could get supplies in and ship stuff out. For the most part, what they shipped
was lumber and this area here was prime for that sort of activity. One of them camps was called ‘Possum Trot’ (I have no idea why they named it
that) and they was mostly cutting pine trees and sending it to the mill.
Another camp just down the road a piece called ‘Redoubt South’ (my place) was where the mill was what cut the trees into lumber. It was built over
what was once a fort where settlers used to go to hide from the indians and that is where the name come from.
Every thing was perking right along until the war began in 1941 and all the workers left to go fight the Japs and Germans. The old lumber mill was
mostly abandoned and the worker’s camp become a ghost town. After the war, the men folks came home and things began to pick up again. The mill was
put back to use and a lot of locals got jobs in the lumber trade. The old worker’s camp was taken up by some of those what were both doing the
cutting and working the mill. One day, they decided they had themselves a town and wanted to give it a name and it is here where the story makes a
slight turn to the left.
You see, during the war when everyone was off fighting, some of the local youguns got it in their heads to have some fun with some whitewash and the
sign what used to say ‘Possum Trot’ became a sign that said ‘Possum Rot’. Yup, they painted over the T and thought they had a hoot on their
hands, and I guess they did ‘cause when the newly formed town was looking for a name, they looked at that old camp sign first and well, the rest is
From there, the folks who lived near the mill weren’t to be outdone and they decided to make a name too but they weren’t too inventive so they
decided an idea honoring the old fort was as good as any. So about 5 miles from Possum Rot sprung Redoubt South. And it is here that I came in 1985
and opened the first hardware store.
Percy Pepper and the rest of his Bothered Pines Mobile Home Estates clan keep me in businesses cause most of the time, they are busy keeping the old
park up and running. I also have a steady stream of park residents coming in here for stuff like cinder blocks, copper tubing and duct tape. I really
ain't got the slightest notion as to what they do with all of it and I don't really care to gain any particular insights either, but they sho do make
an interesting clientele.
... More to Come ...