[Halloween2015] The Beverly Hillbillies Come Home for Halloween!

The aroma of breakfast filled the house as the sun began peeking through the windows.

"Hey, Granny... that sho nuff' smells good! Whatchya cookin?"

The sound of the cast iron frying pan on the old wood stove now woke the rest of the family.

"Just go have a seat at the table and you will see it when I bring it to ya." she replied.

It had been a long, long night. Seemed like forever. The light coming in added a warmth that made home feel like home again but, in the next rooms, there was a crashing and banging as voices carried words of anger...
"Get your boots out of my doorway you big jackass!" came an angry female voice.

"Just look where yer walking... or do you need Granny's specs to see?" came the response.

"Pa! Come and get this ugly hawg-jowel outta my face before I send his nose to the moon!" This was followed by some deep growing and eyeball fights that ran roughshod across the room.

"Now, now you two, breakfast is about ready. Get washed up and come to the table."

Granny spun about with a rolling pin in her hand and walked to the table, "Jed, unless you get them two settled down, I'm gonna whomp 'em up good! We been too long having to put up wit them like this!"

Jed looked out the window and then replied, "Been like... 40 years now, hadn't it?"

Turning back to the pump by the sink, "Too long no matter what, if you ask me!"

Silence filled the house for a few moments before Jethro and Elly May came in and pulled up to the table. They were both still staring at one another with fiery eyes but Granny plated them up with food before it could go any further. Both then dove into their breakfast and the growling came to a halt.

Granny looked up at Jed and said, "If we fed these two 24 hours a day, seven days a week, I bet they'd never say another thang!"

Jed looked at both and than back at Granny, "Welll doggy! I think you might have just found a way to shut 'em both up!"

Elly May glanced up and smiled, "What was that, pa?"

"Nuthin girl, just... go ahead and finish your plate."

After breakfast, Granny and Jed walked out onto the porch. The view was amazing and one that hadn't seen in decades. "Jed, do ya think we should go back down and try again? I mean, them folks down there are pretty hard to git along with."

Jed looked out, pulled his knife-whittlin stick and sat down in his favorite chair. "I dunno, Granny. It's been long enough now. We might be able to do that old oil thang again and win a few friends."

She pulled up next to him, "Best I can tell, dem folks down there gots computers and hand phones now... and all kinds of gadgets. I hear they spend most of the day doin what they call 'selfies'."

"Selfies? What's that?" Jed replied.

Granny tapped her chin for a moment, "Best I can tell, that's where people take pictures of themselves and from what I hear, they do it 24 hours a day!"

"Sounds something like both Jethro and Elly would enjoy if you ask me. Might be the perfect way to keep 'em busy while grazing on the stuff they collect tomorrow night." Jed said while looking at his knife-carved wood.

"I didn't ask you nothin! Not nuthin!" With that, Granny stomped back into the house while Jed kicked back.

As the Earth passed below, Jed went to whitt'lin and enjoying the peace and quiet. "Gonna be like before. he thought. Just like before. They never had to wear a costume or say... 'trick or treat' to just get whatever they wanted."


*** *** ***

a reply to: redoubt

Very inventive, I've never read anything like that before!

S&F

a reply to: beansidhe

Thank you

Ahahahaha! I knew this was going to be funny and it was!

a reply to: Night Star

One of my old fav series... I couldn't resist

Thanks!