I had a crisis in faith, cause of atheists here and just felt like writing

I stayed up all night not to long ago and was having a mania of questioning things. I forgot my meds , that's why I couldn't sleep and heard voices every second for hours. Persecutory. My neighbors were messing with me and if I try to "listen " for them my mind plays tricks on me. It goes where I believe things to be real .....and sometimes I can't tell what is my neighbors talking really quiet or thoughts being generated by hallucinations. My former neighbor was a girl who was jealous of my luck and used to mess with me by the window saying homophobic slurs. I had to change rooms cause my parents made me.

Anyway I feel sorta stupid cause I got all worked up and thought I saw some truth or underlying secrets in thinking what if religion was created by man. I was sorta being spiritual for four or five years and I don't really believe that. Today I was listening to music for four hours. REM s Losing my Religion, NIN s Something I can Never Have, the first song off an AFI album had Terminator beat and were saying, now your one of us. I have my collection of CDs on Xbox 360 hard drive like TV iPod and was listening to a lot of songs. Listening to Tomb Raider soundtrack Illuminati, illuminati is a secret society that does exist, and then Absurd song. Tool Aenima , a song about the end of the world. A Perfect Circle Lets have a War, it already started in the city suburbia is just as easy then Counting Bodies like Sheep to the Rythm of War Drums , step away from the window go back to sleep. Nas Made you Look , gunshots then , made you look your a slave to a page in my rhyme book.

I was thinking with all this beauty and art in the world I don't want to believe in nothing or the lack of anything. I talked to this guy who thought I was " making fun" . I almost didn't want to show my face around here.

Did anybody listen to some good music recently?

I was listening to my favorite song of all time Matthew Good," While we were Hunting Rabbits" and it's this amazing song and in it says , I am just a ship lost at sea. That really relates to my life.

To think life is this random accident of nature or something is not something I believe in. With all the majesty and awe of life. All the advancements we have made over the years. I felt great emotion while listening to that song and U2 One Step Closer, one step closer to knowing. U2 is like transcendal and I don't want to believe in nothing as an answer . I was just adding things up wrong cause of stress and too much reading here I think.

There is nothing at all wrong with questioning your own faith or having moments of weakness or doubt. None at all. We are human and it's what we do. Faith is believing in something that can't be seen or proven, so it is only natural to question.

Don't let anyone ever make you doubt yourself or your core beliefs. There are those that would offer you naught but a stumbling block in this life. If you find yourself questioning things, research and find your own answers. You will learn more on your way to those answers and sometimes what you find will be what you expect and sometimes it won't, but you will know it's right because you learned it for yourself.

The only other advice I can give??? Most of us can spend too much time here digging deeper and deeper and most of us have had to step away from time to time because of that. It's easy to get sucked into the politics, religion, and conspiracies that abound here to the point that it's all you do in your free time and that's not a good thing for your brain. No matter what you do, you need a break from it from time to time and reconnect with your current reality and those physically around you.

I wish you the best of luck and only wanted to let you know that it happens to the best of us.

Keep your head up.

originally posted by: Silenthill666007
Anyway I feel sorta stupid cause I got all worked up and thought I saw some truth or underlying secrets in thinking what if religion was created by man. I was sorta being spiritual for four or five years and I don't really believe that.

Nothing wrong with spirituality. If you're concerned with what you personally believe in is reality or not, why not just research it? Research the history, origins, evolution of, etc. of your belief system of choice. Question it from an objective standpoint, putting any bias aside. Think about it logically, rationally, with reason. Scrutinize it. Do your beliefs stand up to scrutiny?

I'm not saying there is nothing to spirituality. I think there is. Specific belief systems though, I have my doubts. As you may recall, I am an atheist. Religions all make claims of having the universal truths.. Well they can't all be right. And they each have their own internal problems too, which reflect the fact they can't be 100% truths. But I digress..

Your life and beliefs are your own journey.

For some alternative views: Atheist Experience

That's all I really want to say at the moment.

a reply to: Silenthill666007

Your core spiritual beliefs are things to be cherished. The details, trappings, and dogma surrounding it is transient and will evolve or devolve as time passes. People who change their beliefs or "convert" to something aside from what they started with can absolutely keep their core beliefs intact.

If others are making you doubt, use that doubt as a smith uses a grind stone. Insisting that you are the peak evolution of your personal beliefs is to stagnate and never grow. You are in a good position when you are questioning. Just take your time and think of what you would believe in if you had no suggestions from anybody else or even books. What would you believe then?

I think questioning your faith is very important, thats what the greatest theologians have all done and constantly do.
Its why the bible calls Christians to faith, because it doesnt make sense, we need to have faith.

Even more important, question your motivations, why you do things, why you want to be the person you are.

Get ready for disappointment, its a disappointing world.

Tool. Nine Inch Nails. A Perfect Circle.

Sounds like you're on the right path.

It's interesting that these topics became something to ponder after drugs were in or out of the equation. I think peoples "level" of consciousness and it's alteration is in fact an important part of ones believe system and how they question or look at life, one example being how many different cultures across the planet have and still do use psychedelic drugs as a religious sacrament being a main part of their spiritual practice and enlightenment. I think you should believe what you think is right or wherever your questioning leads you and not what other people tell you, cause there's always going to be people criticizing what opposes them instead of letting people have their believe or lack thereof.

a reply to: Silenthill666007

I think maybe that this temporal crisis of the core beliefs is indicating that you have learned and experienced enough of your current spiritual values and now must seek out new spiritual potentials. This is how the soul consciousness increases it's fortitude and become that little bit wiser.

We have all been through "the dark night of the soul", it's what you believe afterwards that matters.

a reply to: Silenthill666007

The evidence of prophets.

The recording of their teachings which range from 1500 to 4000 years ago. We have manuscripts of most religious texts dating from 1500 to 2000+ years ago that verify the source documents have been unchanged.

These texts were recorded during a time where writing was scarce and expensive. Yet they were recorded many times and perfectly preserved for 1500 to 2000+ years.

The preservation of these documents and the similarities of teaching suggest that all of the prophets believed in One Creator God and the concept of love your neighbor.

Although many religious teachers have taught exclusivity nearly all the texts themselves teach love and coexistence with those of different faiths.

The preservation of such documents and the common theme that permeates them is proof of divine origin and divine inspiration to record the words of the prophets and preserve them perfectly for over 1500 years IMO.

Some people can't see how art could exist without religion, yet there are so many artists that are Atheists, or non religious (if not more than theists now, simply because of population increase).

Beauty doesn't simply vanish because you've lost your religion, in fact, in many ways things are more beautiful because it wasn't caused my a magical being, or that a god needed to guide a person to doing what they did, it's actually more beautiful because that person managed to create such an incredible piece all on their own (without the help from a god). Or that Nature can produce such incredible, intricate, and beautiful things all on its own. And the possibility of this being our only life makes all those experiences with art even that more precious because it may be our only shot at experiencing it, rather than empty, unsubstantiated promises that there is a life after death.

The road to self acknowledgement without the need from an imaginary friend (god) can be scary at first, but once you really experience it, you'll view the universe in a whole other manner.

Everyday I see symbols a flood of them. I am schizophrenic and have been trained in reading abstract patterns. I remember years ago seeing a priest on TV holding up a pamphlet of an African American boy looked like he was starving and in a third world country. This was 2008 or 2009, when very few knew. What I am planning on doing is my life's destiny. No matter the consequences. I will not be on my knees and go quietly into the night, I will stand and fight for my piece of the American Dream and recognition. Here and to people who exploited me. This is hush hush but come on now. We all have things or chances we need to take.

Connecting patterns that weren't there was the basis for my last thread. Even to the next day I didn't snap outta it. That's what possessed me to write this thread.

In response to Pilipilipriestess , if I didn't read any books or talk to anyone I would believe in what I believe in now. I make up my own mind. I never read the Bible, base my spiritualality on Catholocism but also on my own pilgrimage or crusade of how I see God and my own personal philosophies . I don't think there is a name for what I am doing . I plan on studying the religions of the world one day , if I make it through to Billy Madison. Driving golf cart drunk to mailbox on nudie magazine day, living on an estate with a huge mansion. I think Eminem put it best when he said WTP white trash party. In Colorado if you have a Colorado license they let you buy an ounce a day, every day. The meek may inherit the Earth, but all you gotta be is very high functioning and you can have it all. Look at Donald Trump.

I would say those who do not question their subjective faith will never in any way seek to know objective truth.

The divine energy do exists but that do not mean all religions have any real information on what is going on and how everything is interconnected on all levels. The whole mysterious ways is a giant cop out that some religions use for not seeking true objective knowledge.

If you control the quantum reality field then you control how energy will be manifested and what physical form it will take. We might one day know scientifically how to create energized body bliss states that would maybe temper humanities ways and relieve suffering and make the human body self repair more efficiently. If humanity become really advanced we might be finally able to create tools like replicators or even evolve into Q like beings.

originally posted by: Cinrad
We have all been through "the dark night of the soul", it's what you believe afterwards that matters.

"Dark Night of The Soul.." very good book..




Follow your instincts..

a reply to: Silenthill666007


Ummm...Silent...

I talked to this guy who thought I was " making fun" .

I think you missed this...

Ummm...Hello again Silent...my comment about "making fun" was a response to you stating that your "religious" neighbors were making fun of you...not that you were making fun of anything... Sometimes the intent of what we write doesn't translate as well as we think...I apologize for not wording my first response more clearly...

This was in my response to your post in my thread..."Alpha dust"

Again...I apologize for any misunderstanding...

Be well my friend...


YouSir

Please don't take this the wrong way....


Are you on medication or in therapy? It Might be a path to explore.

Greetings- At the core of every religion™ is not ritual, but someone who broke through ritual to direct contact with the transcendental. They were not following religion. They were discovering it and living it. Moses, Jesus, Lao-tzu, Mohammed, Yoda were NOT following anything but the expression of their direct contact with the actuality of Life.
But We follow them, not our own direct contact with Life. In fact, We follow merely the ritual that represents these mystic figures and We follow the religious hierarchy that controls these rituals.

***

A man boarded a train for Delhi and sat across from a Swami. The Swami was uttering all sorts of incantations and taking dust from a bag and throwing it in the air. Unable to suppress His curiosity, the man finally asked the Swami what He was doing. "I am protecting this railcar from tigers with My special tiger dust" replied the Swami.
"But," the man protested, "there aren't any tigers within a 1,000 miles of us!"
And the Swami said "Effective, isn't it?"

Find YOUR "Truth" and Live 'it'... You're comparing Yours to anothers... This seldom bodes well.

I truly hope You find what it is You're looking for.

namaste