MOM: Are You A ‘Tough Mother’ Or Are You Raising A Wuss?

a reply to: odinsway

Dads rarely ruin their children...Mothers on the other hand seem to revel in it at times. Its a crazy woman attention thing. They ruin you so you have to run back to them. My little bro and sister are an excellent case study

originally posted by: Boadicea
Wow... you actually believe that, don't you?

Moms are just so evil and powerful? Especially your mom? And poor old dad. He was just so helpless and powerless and defenseless against all that evil maternal power?

And yet, somehow, you managed to escape her evil clutches and find all this wisdom, allowing you to judge every woman and mother by your own while giving every wuss -- oops! I mean man, of course -- a free pass for their obvious weakness. Wow. Just wow. You must be a very special snowflake.

. . . when it turns out that odinsway is right, and the rest of you are wrong?



What will your snowflake comment be worth then?




Mike Grouchy

a reply to: mikegrouchy

But if it's all mom's fault, what's dad doing right there by her side? And why's mom saying "we" and "parents" instead of "me" and "mother?" I guess the daughter doesn't understand that her dad was just a poor victim of her narcissistic mother... she must not be a special snowflake.

I'm not sure what you are really trying to say... but nothing you posted suggests that moms are the problems and dads "rarely" are. Nothing you posted proves that most moms -- rather than some moms -- are narcissistic and abusive. And I would suggest that if mom is really that bad and dad isn't there to save you, then he's at least as bad as mom.

I heard a term that rang bell with me. "Snow-plow Mom" It's one step beyond Helicopter Parent in that you smooth the way for your kid to avoid adversity.

I try really hard not to do that.

Failing at something is the only way to figure out how to get better. Though when I see a situation going all wrong - I do point out the pitfalls - but it's up to the kid to make the call.

We just tell our kid's that, with every decision they make, they are choosing the story they tell about themselves, so make it a good one that reflects the values of our family.

They won't always get it right but they will never learn or get better if the choices are spoon fed to them.

And, honestly when it comes to raising kids - you *sometimes* have to be cruel to be kind. For instance, my toddler needs to bust his butt a few times doing something incredibly dumb before he learns not to do that incredibly dumb thing. I hate it and it goes against every fiber of my being to watch it play out - but he is so dang stubborn, it's what it takes for him to learn a lesson.

originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: mikegrouchy

But if it's all mom's fault, what's dad doing right there by her side?

You do realize that blame shifting is NOT the same thing as taking responsibility.


Mike Grouchy