a reply to: Boadicea
Okay I''l snark off then. I do agree with him to a point for sure. I raised 2 boys into men and they both are aggressive when needed,and the ones wife
thanked me for making a wonderful man out of him. So I think I can talk with some kind of idea on this one.
In fact the writer does point out that there are other factors that influence boys while growing up,but his main point was on what mothers are doing
with their sons. I was married to a guy that was wussified beyond belief due to his mother. His father stepped in a couple of times to try to
straighten him out,but the mother would throw 'fainting' fits like she was an idiot. She acted like a total fool,and then tried to do the same to my
youngest. I was like "oh I don't think so".]
My ex never got to make mud pies because his stupid mother didn't want him to get dirty? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? True story. I could not believe it
when the whole family told me that. She buttoned his shirts for him before going to school even though he was in 3rd grade,the teacher tried to tell
her she needed to let him do it,and she got smart with the teacher being a total bitch. While she was telling me this, she was quite proud of herself
all those years later! I looked at her and said, maybe your son wouldn't be the way he is now if he had been made to do things for himself. She just
looked at me like I was stupid and didn't understand.
Here was the end result of how she raised him:
He was 15 when he chased his sister around the house and yard while she was 6 months pregnant with her first child,trying TO STAB HER IN THE STOMACH.
Luckily for my sister in law, a friend who was a football player and over 6' tall pulled up and saw what was happening,caught him and beat the # out
of him for it. He asked my husband what the hell was he thinking? All my ex would say over and over again was " yeah it took a big guy like you to
beat me up". That was by far more important in his head than the fact he was trying to hurt his sister. He never did apologize to her for it.
He got me down and kicked me with steel toed boots on because I was in his way of attacking the dog! Never did apologize for that one.
He attacked both of my sons when they got older and I had to jump in to stop it,getting my arm injured. Never apologized for that.
He finally stepped over the line one day with me and tried to punch me in the face. I turned and looked him in the eye and told him. "Go ahead and hit
me or put your fist down. If you hit me,I will get out of prison in 7 years,you however will still be dead. Because one I start hitting today, I am
not gong to stop you fool. I will keep hitting for all 17 years of bull# you have pulled on me and the kids. And I have NO intention of stopping until
I have paid you back in full. Therefore you will be dead by then. So go on and hit me for the last time." Then I left him. He didn't have the guts to
hit me then,he knew I meant every word of it. He never was one to have guts. Then he tried to tell his family that I up and left him for another guy.
He wasn't man enough to tell them what all he had done. He never did apologize for that one,but I no longer cared.
He was confused that day,he didn't know how to get himself out of that situation. He had never been made to say he was sorry to anyone. Anything
stupid did was alright with his mommy you see. So he never learned to say "I"m sorry,I shouldn't have done that". His loss. I don't loss sleep over
him. He is now alone with his brother,and believe it or not,despite me 'supposedly' having another guy,he wanted to move in with me,because his
brother set house rules down that he didn't want to have to follow. So after not calling my son to wish him a happy birthday,merry christmas or
anything at all.He called asking if he could come live with US!! I was like,when hell freezes over sure. You see Satan ice skating start packing
It is one thing to love your kids.It is another to fail at your job as a parent and teach them the lessons they need to get along in their adult life.
Part of that is teaching them to be good men and women. If someone is not up to that job,don't have kids. Pretty simple.