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Codependency often refers to adult romantic relationships, but many times, the birth of a child can enhance or bring out these tendencies even if you had previously been an independent person. You want the unending love and adoration of your little one, and in turn, he gives unconditional love and adoration back. Of course, that rarely happens, but for the most part, this is perfectly healthy. However, some families cannot use moderation and end up suffocating each other, or worse, losing their definitions as individuals.
When your toddler was an infant, she needed a lot of attention. She couldn't do anything for herself and you had to step into the role of primary caretaker, solely responsible for her life and well-being. Change my diaper, feed me, clothe me, help me sleep -- these unspoken demands don't stop, they just become spoken, and usually loudly. As your child grows, you may have a hard time stepping back and allowing her to explore her own capabilities. You might find you do everything together, never leave her to create or imagine something alone. You feel like an attentive parent, but in reality you could be stifling your toddler and paving the way for dependency issues throughout life.Some parents use homeschooling to aid this tendency, and while there are many reasons people keep their children home for their education, the parental fear of being alone shouldn't be one of them.
You may not let your children participate in activities like climbing or gymnastics without your help. You want to ensure safety, but in this way, the child never learns. Eventually, your toddler could come to believe that he needs your help for everything.
originally posted by: Sublimecraft
a reply to: JesseVentura
Here is a message for all statutory authorities regarding my children.
BACK THE F#%K OFF.
The problem with society these days is not allowing our kids to learn, the hard way, that life is full of pluses and minuses. Now, I discipline my kids old school - respect your elders or cop a boot up the ass - and guess what - my children are the envy of other parents because of my philosophy of FEAR and REPETITION - the carrot and the stick.
My family is not a democracy - it is a fascist regime - and i'm the bastard in charge.
I remember grabbing my BMX at 8.00am in the morning and not returning until after dark. My parents were not neglectful.
Free range forever...............or prison planet
NLBS #46 The Madness of Helicopter parents versus free range parents
originally posted by: VoidHawk
a reply to: InTheLight
But how will children ever learn to recognize danger if they never have any experience of it?
When I was a kid ALL children were free range, and if a danger did present itself then all kids instantly knew about it because they would tell each other.
originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: Sublimecraft
Why do our young have to learn by trial and error (which can be lethal; physically, emotionally and/or psychologically), let's get education up to par in the household and schools.