posted on Oct, 22 2015 @ 04:26 PM
It's a difficult thing to deal with. Really, it is... sometimes I don't understand why most people aren't like this. It's all I've known since I was
I'm not depressed. I have an anxiety "disorder" after my father passed away suddenly when I was 12. Since then my anxiety has had ups and downs and I
have had spell(s) of depression. It's a very dark place to be. Perhaps mine was kind of PTSD... Who knows.
Most days i'm ok, but I have a constant voice in my head that won't allow me to enjoy some things at times. And there's times where i'm bad for
weeks/months. Worrying everyday to the point of losing weight and just not living my life at all...
I went on pills recently... but it's hard to tell if they have worked. Because the nature of my anxiety is very up and down. I can be fine for LONG
periods and eventually it calms down by itself. So I can't tell you if the pills have worked (I've been on them for about 2 months and i'm coming off
them now) .... So far, so good. I'm doing well.
I've also experienced severe Derealization (similar to depersonlization) which I still feel at times of stress but at one point my live was a complete
unreal haze for 5 months. It's such a surreal feeling to feel detached from the world and have everything around you look "strange" and not real....
You understand everything is real but it's a mental feeling that everything is just separate from you.... your mind is closed off.
It's also caused my migraines to change (I began getting retinal migraines after my anxiety peaked) but thank God I haven't had one in over a year -
fingers crossed! And also, from googling, what appears to be partial-psychogenic seizures. intense deja vu, followed by strange thoughts in my head.
If you're interested, you can google them. They are like epileptic seizures and can have varying degrees. But they are linked directly to stress. It
only made mine worse until I understood what caused them, now they are gone... for 4 years
Hopefully things are improving.
PS. I currently feel like Im floating whilst sitting down typing this... Another symptom i've had for many years... And im not even anxious! The
nature of the beast, ey?
Hope you're all doing well. Sorry for the ramble!