Stephen Harper: Canada's Greatest Prime Minister

Election day is just around the corner (October 19), and votes are on the table! In the hopes that you will make the right choice at the ballot box, I'm here to showcase the spectacular legacy of this stalwart Canadian hero, Stephen Harper


Unlike Mulcair and Trudeau, Stephan Harper has a degree in economics. He actually knows what he's doing, unlike those two debt-mongers. Do they even have credit cards? One thing's for sure, their records aren't great, but Stephen's proudly speaks for itself:


Stephen Harper knows how to treat dignitaries modestly, which increases our standing as a nation. He also abolished the Senate and then appointed senators after saying he wouldn't. This shows how dynamic and visionary his actions are.

Fact: Every day millions of Canadians are terrified of terrorists. Unlike the secret muslims Trudeau and Mulcair, Stephen Harper stands tall against terrorism. He recently passed Bill C-51 which ensures our freedom, including obtaining all of your personal information and detaining people who have not been charged for a whole week. This is necessary to stop terrorists who wish to restrict your personal freedom. C-51 will finally allow our caring government to stop terrorists, such as the criminals who threatened to behead our Leader in the following threatening photo:


Likewise abroad as in Canada, Stephen is always looking out for our safety. He has taken the intrepid initiative to increase our war capabilities with the flawless F-35 fighter jet. We need these not only to stop ISIS now but to start wars in the future. Fact: Canadians are sick and tired of a variety of things, one of which may possibly be our historical lack of Imperialism.


Stephen Harper is against State sponsors of Terrorism. This is why he kicked the terrorist Iranian embassy out of Canada like a man, rather than negotiate with them. Terrorist pundits might say his foreign policy is like trying to make Bible prophecy come true, but more likely these are the actions of a strong, rational leader.

Stephen Harper is 100% dedicated to his country. It's reassuring to know in this day and age that a leader is not afraid to show his patriotism for his favourite country. He is completely set on getting the most out of our resources and buying them back refined from our cultural and ethical allies. He always makes sure Canadians come first. And Liberals claimed he didnt create jobs! And let's not forget that he keeps Canada in Canadian hands, keeping things a ffordable for affluent people of ALL walks of life. Smell that? That's the smell of patriotism.

Unlike the drug pusher Trudeau, Stephen Harper stands against the natural evil that is marijuana. He sticks with the facts and with science as his ally, he confirms that pot is infinitely worse than tobacco. Fact: 100% of all marijuana users will die. Doing drugs is one of the worst crimes imaginable, and all crimes against humanity must be punished proportionately.


Stephen Harper has also been protecting our nation from the dangers of nature with the changes to the Navigable Waters Protection Act. Hippie terrorists have claimed that this reduces our number of protected parks to the lowest number in history to the benefit of the oil industry - but they are biased. They need nature to provide them with marijuana to commit more crimes. Nature is dangerous, and the Canadian people need to protect themselves against protected parks. Fact: more animals die every day in nature than in all the largest skyscrapers combined.

Finally, Stephen Harper gives medals to our real heroes. There is nobody more deserving of recognition for their contributions to Canada than our own champion personage, the notable lyricist Justin Bieber. We are not worthy of your sacrifice to this nation.


You probably havent seen the Conservatives' brilliant original ad exposing the concerning unreadiness of Justin Trudeau due to their rare airtime, so i'll post it so you can witness its truth for the first time.

In case you missed it, the subtle message is that Trudeau is not ready. Luckily we know Stephen Harper's record, and it certainly is full of many things, including experience.

So there you have it. I hope when you get to the polls on Monday, you'll vote for the person who actually enco urages you to vote with kindly reminders and even passes laws of encouragement! His supporters dont resort to underhanded tactics like charisma or phony troll commenting.


Look folks, we need a leader who is not afraid to move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom! I urge you: vote Conservative. When the world hears "Cons", they think of Stephen Harper. Jesus supports him! Why dont you?

He still looks like a mommas boy

But he is the most legit option .. didn't really give him competition lol.

He's great with kids. Kids can just naturally sense dependability

Stephen Harper too many reasons to list but like the saying Assad must go so too must Harper go . Justin ....well he seems to be making a impression on the younger voters and I can't blame them because I was young and impressionable when I was young . May is too too much of a green creature for me .Besides I think she is a Conservative invention .

NDP, NDP, NDP .... Besides it was Harper that was beating the drums of war like the good puppet he is and does exactly what he was told check this out :>)

a reply to: Ridhya



Thanks for the hardy knee-slapping laugh !

I needed a bit of humour today.




Stephen J. Harper... otherwise known as "Bush Jr the 3rd" to his pals.

I almost thought you were serious, I was about to be very mean to you. thanks for the laugh

I am not Canadian but even I can see and realize that this is the most astounding piece of propaganda I have seen on anyone in awhile and America is in the midst of our election cycle at the moment. I mean really ? Why not marry the guy you love hime so much. I cannot name any politician in any part of the world whom lives up to the superlative description you have provided of this one....NOT ONE SINGLE ONE.

And thanks for the "facts" about marijuana users...here is another fact for you....EVERY person who does not smoke marijuana will also die...just a fact...sorry about it. I cannot even begin to express how disingenuous your post comes across and simply reeks of a paid advertisement worth of America's own political landscape, you should really apply for a job with one of the campaigns here.

Sarcasm at its finest ? Lets hope so...I am so confused

a reply to: DJMSN
I think he's being sarcastic

a reply to: papazen

It's okay, he's American.

We have to give them a wee bit of leeway when it comes to catching on to and recognizing humourous satire when it's happening.

You'd think that the Justin Beiber line would give it away reply to: CranialSponge

a reply to: Ridhya

Thank you for this fluffiest of pieces. F&S! And milk and honey,
to wash down the taste of my GMO nuttlike granola late brunch.
edit/Twice. /edit

With the exception of there having been a deliberate publicity
smear going on to get Randy out for a box office boost; I predict
this thread will get more mileage than even "Bad Santa 3--the
Chimney Squatter" reviews. Stellar statistics on the pot too

a reply to: derfreebie

Oh sure, we're having ourselves a good ol' chuckle today clinking our celebratory glasses together sure of ourselves that Harper will be a nightmare of the past.

But the dark pessimist in me fears that come Monday night, we will once again be bowing to Das Fuhrer for yet another cycle of disasterous shenanigans.

*sigh*

originally posted by: CranialSponge
a reply to: derfreebie

Oh sure, we're having ourselves a good ol' chuckle today clinking our celebratory glasses together sure of ourselves that Harper will be a nightmare of the past.

But the dark pessimist in me fears that come Monday night, we will once again be bowing to Das Fuhrer for yet another cycle of disasterous shenanigans.

*sigh*

Take it back! Bite your tongue! Nooooo! There's going away parties planned out here! Only Blue I will accept winning on Monday is the Jays.

a reply to: Ridhya

Boo
Boooo

BOOO

He's muzzled Scientists with gag orders
He's a Christian Fundamentalist with a dictatorial personality
He's responsible to voter fraud (Robocall scandal)
He's responsible for Senator fraud (Mike Duffy)
He tried to stack the Supreme court to get a ruling in his favor
He fear mongers (not facts)
And if he doesn't get his way, he'll try to discredit and muddy the waters.
They guy's eyes have no soul
He can't sing worth sh!t so playing Beatles tunes on the piano to save his ass doesn't amount to a hill of beans
He snuck in TPP and is withholding the details until after the election.

Look, don't get me started.

P.S
What's up with that Marijuana ad? Did you snag that from SNL?

eta: my bad. This is satire right? I should have read before posting.

originally posted by: CranialSponge
a reply to: derfreebie

Oh sure, we're having ourselves a good ol' chuckle today clinking our celebratory glasses together sure of ourselves that Harper will be a nightmare of the past.

But the dark pessimist in me fears that come Monday night, we will once again be bowing to Das Fuhrer for yet another cycle of disasterous shenanigans.

*sigh*

I hate the idea of political osmosis going north instead of south,
Sponge. But as a next door neighbor the average Canadian may
lately be suffering from a locally induced Abnormalcy Bias.

I'll apologise for my MSM bleeding the malignancy elsewhere: I
suggest Molson in large doses and heavily buttered propcorn.
That worked for me in 2012, because it looked like Mr. Blunderful
was getting his second term for the worse...

a reply to: AccessDenied

Take pity on me.

My husband has voted for Harper twice (gawd that was more painful to say out loud than I thought it would be)... and I fear he will be voting for the troglodyte once again, but he knows better than to tell me this time around.

But the hippy-liberal-tree-hugger in me demands that I forgive him for his trespasses for he knows not what he does.

Any sane person on the other hand, would see it as grounds for divorce.



I'll just drown my sorrows in a bottle of Crown Royal, it's the Canadian thing to do.

a reply to: Ridhya

The extreme left of Canada:

We approve this message....

I'm still mad at Canada for Justin beiber.
Oh the evil they unleashed upon the world with that one.
At least they gave us red green and corner gas as redemption.

originally posted by: derfreebie

originally posted by: CranialSponge
a reply to: derfreebie

Oh sure, we're having ourselves a good ol' chuckle today clinking our celebratory glasses together sure of ourselves that Harper will be a nightmare of the past.

But the dark pessimist in me fears that come Monday night, we will once again be bowing to Das Fuhrer for yet another cycle of disasterous shenanigans.

*sigh*

I hate the idea of political osmosis going north instead of south,
Sponge. But as a next door neighbor the average Canadian may
lately be suffering from a locally induced Abnormalcy Bias.

I'll apologise for my MSM bleeding the malignancy elsewhere: I
suggest Molson in large doses and heavily buttered propcorn.
That worked for me in 2012, because it looked like Mr. Blunderful
was getting his second term for the worse...

Ah yes, I keep forgetting that we neighbours share in the same idiot-sitting-in-the-seat painful disease.

However, your trauma will end come next year because Americans are smart enough to put a limit on the number of terms their president can serve.

We dummy Canadians on the other hand, like to allow our throne-sitters an infinite number of terms.

They just go on and on and on and on and on......

And on...

Isn't Uncle Stephen an Israeli firster, Uncle Sam second, Saudi's third and then maybe Canada? Sorry, I can't ever trust someone who pokes a baby in the forehead.