Psycho Cashier FALSELY Accuses Me of Sexual Harassment?? Advice??

hey I've been following your thread to see what develops.

sounds to me the management for the store are investigating.

if they intend to fire her in regards to what's been going on with you then they probably suspect she's crazy and are getting all the evidence they need to make sure she can't come back at anybody letigiously.

the store cant afford to get into a wrongful termination lawsuit. it could devastate them if for some reason she would win.

so theyll take their time to get all the info possible via new cameras and terminate her in a way that is iron clad.

they are probably leaving your boss in the cold and not communicating with him until they know one way or the other and in turn he's got nothing to report back to you.

as far as your feelings. totally acceptable. I'd feel pissed and like I was experiencing an injustice. for now hold on. if they do decide to fire her it will happen fast one day. you never know that day could be tomorrow. in the mean time get another job so your safe either way.

ive had to deal with bullies and lying sociopaths at my previous job.

I literally had it one day. came in on my birthday this last June for work and immediately got dumped on for some complete bs. i quit on the spot and lived off my savings for a few months. (which are now depleted completely ) then got a new job in a much friendlier place. the pay sucks but i get by and dont have to experience constantly flight or fight respobses due to anxiety. ive lost 25lbs and 20pts on my blood pressure. for me it was worth walking away from the madness.

so know that when heading into work and when thinking about all you are going through there are others who support you and feel your pain.

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2

Recently I thought to myself that life is too short.

To put up with some of the things we go through, yes. Because there must be something other than that?

Thing is, it doesn't seem like I can ever find happiness. I stay as joyful as I can, savouring the simple things in life

LoneCloud you made me smile, don't you see? You have something she and too many others will never have in their self-indulgent, "I Did It My Way, while stepping on others" attitude.
You make an effort to be joyful, it doesn't just happen, and you enjoy the so called "simple" things, that is a hard earned capacity.
Raise your head and smile.
And then my friend find a safe place to cry so you can get a good nights sleep.

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2

Sorry I didn't update.

No sorry

I actually thought people were probably tired of me ranting or complaining lol

This is your rant you are writing for you and perhaps your experience can benefit some one else. But this is yours.

I plan to call my boss when I get up this evening and ask what is going on

Be careful not to impose on any one, just acting as if you can handle it is perhaps a better approach.

Lately there are men putting up all kinds of wires and the amount of cameras

Welcome that, even bring it to the attention of the others. "Oh look we're on Candid Camera"

I got angry tonight,

Be very careful of your mood, anger through frustration nailed me.

I feel very deeply and people often fail to grasp this about me...when I hurt, I hurt deeply. tonight I actually had some suicidal thoughts,

They are just thoughts in a compassionate being, keep feeling but be careful who you reveal your self to. "Pearls to Swine" you know?

I'm just tired of the pain. All my life has been a fight. And it's so damned random, pointless.

When I went into that dark place I would find courage in thinking of how the poor victims of every Holocaust survived with out becoming hateful and bitter. Not that it compares to starvation and death camps.
But I would ask "How did You handle it" in my heart.
I wanted/want to be compassionate as they were/are.

a reply to: BASSPLYR

Thanks for your understanding. I think you're right about what's going on. I know that the store is aware of her attitude. I'm not the first to have an issue with her, I can tell. Can't say how many times I've hoped she was either fired or had quit, but she always came back. One time she was gone for months and then came back. Never knew anyone who'd ever done that, not in a full-time position anyway.

a reply to: WalkInSilence

Very caring and thoughtful responses, WalkInSilence!

You are right. The evil cashier is miserable inside, always. That could be what she hates about me. She always seemed to lash out at me when she that I was happy. Ha! Only now do I realize this! But that's probably what irks her the most...

A shame I hadn't time to read these replies earlier...tonight was not a good night. I have handled this as best as I could, for over a year now, and now with added pressure and sleep loss it's taking its toll. Tonight I was even angrier than the night before. Partly, I wasn't expecting her to come in...the nice cashier works on this night, and she did. But the evil cashier came in to work with the sales tag women, tagging items for the new sales. They always get in my way. I'm used to that. The evil cashier started working with them some of these nights a while back, and of course she loved how it gave her the power to get in my way in different areas around the store. But I really didn't think she'd show up tonight. Me and her were both told not to talk to the other or to confront the other, so what kind of sense would it make?? She came in, of course blocking me in areas where I normally don't get blocked. I got angry. I didn't say or do anything, but I was angry. I worked angrily for some time after this. Honestly, I could not help it. Too much strain is finally breaking me...I was never so offended in all my life, that after all I've had to put up with in this ridiculous scenario it went to another extreme! I am not a human punching bag....I DO bleed...

It feels like I've been beaten, arms held back, and tarred and feathered. Joke's on me. All while everyone is telling me to keep taking and taking it...I just can't anymore...there is more to this than I said before. For SIX MONTHS I was 'sick' (that is, very fatigued and kind of queasy.) It made for an absolutely BRUTAL experience of forcing my sickly self through each day, on and on for half a year of my life! Talk about torture! I kept thinking it was just some virus and it'll pass. But it didn't, so eventually I went to the hospital. I saw a number of experts and different tests were done (they even had me wear a heart monitor.) Apparently, I had the heartbeat of an old man, so my doctor said. He sent me to an expert on the body and mind. He went over all the findings, which were negative, and then asked if anything had changed recently. I told him about the evil cashier, and how the first night she'd started at me was the same night when I began feeling fatigued. The connection was obvious.

I explained about my previous experiences with narcissists, narcissistic older women in particular, and it traced back to when I was a kid in grade 1 and my teacher abused me physically and psychologically. She would, for example, grab me and shake me violently every time I denied doing something. Other kids started blaming me for all sorts of stuff, and after a while I learned to just accept the blame. I would even feel conscious guilt. This problem persisted into my 20's, of reacting with guilt whenever I was either accused of something or if someone looked at me suspiciously (which caused many complications in my social life over the years.) So, the expert concluded that my inner child is broken. He put me on anti-depressants. I had been weeding my way off of anxiety meds, and was just about off them, but the scenario with the evil cashier flared my anxiety up, and to his perspective I was suffering from sub-conscious social anxiety. Well, the pills did work and I was a lot more out-going, connecting better socially to the people at work. I've been more open with my family, and even hear as I write this. I call them brave pills lol

Anyway, the point is, when she attacks me it's attacking an old problem of mine, and a lot of old feelings resurface. I've fought against this for a while now, but lately, with everyone kinda looking at me, more cameras, some people seeming judgemental of me, it takes me back to when I was picked on my teachers and students. I am strong, proud and have a lot of self-discipline, but there is a crushing feeling lately, a feeling of being crushed under too much psychological weight.

Anyway, so yes, tonight I worked angrily. The edge of the squeegee to my auto-scrubber even struck (lightly I hope) the sneaker of one of the tag women. She sort of laughed about it and I smiled apologetically. She seemed okay. So yeah, now it could be said that I DID ...what, touch...hopefully not hit someone with my equipment...this comes from being frustrated and overtired...I make lots of split-second decisions while working, determining if I have enough room to make it past someone or not. I usually don't like getting that close to anyone, and will either wait or go around them instead, but I was blocked from proceeding with my job. She was not moving even though I was there, machine roaring...so I made a bad decision. After that, all the tag women disappeared. Between that incident and my bad mood (and likely my noticeable dislike of the evil cashier being there, intentionally getting in my way,) I began wondering if they were having a secret meeting of their own. Maybe the evil cashier got them all on her side about me being such a rotten person. Maybe she got them all feeling I was against them as a group and wanted them the f**** out of my way (as she has said of me before.) Well, if this looks that way, then so be it...if I get fired for having an attitude after a year of abuse and being watched and working around a lunatic who might get herself injured at any time and plays mind games with me, then so be it. I'll have a good laugh when I hear a bad attitude excuses me being fired, compared to what all SHE'S gotten away with!

I never, ever even touched anyone with any of my equipment before, not even my broom...I was just thinking exactly THAT the other day, and then THIS...which of course helps HER...too predictable. Like I told my boss a week or two ago, the longer this goes on the more it'll help HER because all the evidence is on my side and as I get more used and abused, and overtired, I'm bound to screw up...

Every day that goes by when I don't call the police or/and labour board I feel more foolish...

I'm just tired, fed up, at the end of my tether. I feel too bruised and battered to give any more blood in this fight...maybe it would be best if they did fire me...maybe I need to be removed because I'm too stubborn to leave because I want a just resolve that I'll never get...

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2 My heart goes out to you. Your getting pushed over the edge and from what I've been following of this thread, you seem like a sensitive, smart and introspective person. Don't let them get the best of you! Can you talk to the business that hires your to work in the store? If my understanding is correct, your hired by an outside source? Don't let the store your working in get you fired. The only way to fight back at this point is to walk away, head held high, doing what's best for you. It's okay to leave a bad situation. Have faith that something better is waiting for you. Don't lose faith that there is the perfect job environment, where you can do your job and be appreciated for what you are being paid for.
I relate to your period of fatigue and queasiness. I went through a long period of multiple tests with trying to find out what it was and finally the doctor just asked me about what's going on in my life and he said it must be psychosomatic.
You trudged through so much with this nasty woman, be kind to yourself and break free. Get online, look for work, talk to the business that hires you out, get temporary disability for emotional stress that had at one time manifested as a physical sickness, do what you have to do to take care of your emotional self. Don't let this woman dictate who you truly are. Your not the angry person she's turning you into. She is sick, her soul is sick and she is nothing but bad news.
God bless you and may the heavenly Angels guide and protect you

originally posted by: peppycat

PeppyCat that was so nice, my exact words

The only way to fight back at this point is to walk away, head held high, doing what's best for you.

Please follow this advice you must maintain your integrity.
I know you want justice but, Hon, there is no such thing. The evil people do to us will be their own judgement. We don't have that power. thank God. I could tell you some very odd stories.

She is sick, her soul is sick and she is nothing but bad news.
God bless you and may the heavenly Angels guide and protect you

Yep and Amen. Oh and she needs help.

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2

I explained about my previous experiences with narcissists, narcissistic older women in particular

I had hoped you hadn't revealed any thing from your back ground to a medical professional. In a situation like this they could twist it against you. But heads up, you can handle this.

Anyway, so yes, tonight I worked angrily

Stay Calm, what ever you do stay calm.

Every day that goes by when I don't call the police or/and labour board

They won't believe you and the stress of going through that will crush you.

maybe it would be best if they did fire me...maybe I need to be removed because I'm too stubborn to leave because I want a just resolve that I'll never get...

Don't give them an incentive to fire you. Walk out with your head high.

I do hope you haven't mentioned ATS to any one? If they investigate deeper it could incriminate you.
Sorry for being a party pooper, I all ways guard my privacy and am very careful of who I associate with. Just a piece of terribly paranoid advice.
Get some sleep.

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

I've known you for like 10 years now and I know you have gone through a lot. I also know how strong you are, sometimes stronger than you know. I am glad people here are supporting you. Our ATS family is the best! Hang in there Sweetness! A lot of people are here for you.

I am lending you Pesky the pixie, she can sprinkle some magical dust to ward off evil cashiers.

a reply to: peppycat

Wow, that is beautiful!

I hardly know what to say to that, I am so touched. It is best that I seriously start looking. I do have a couple days off now. Thanks for your insightful and kind words!

a reply to: WalkInSilence

I really appreciate the continued support, WalkInSilence! You are right. I should move on. And no, I didn't say anything that would make me sound crazy. I know the world I'm living in and assume such limitations of people unless they show me they are deeper than I thought. I wouldn't even test the water with a professional like him. We just stayed on the psychological side of what I've been going through.

a reply to: Night Star

That must be some pretty potent stuff! Nothing else has gotten rid of her!

Always glad to have you in my life, Night. I don't know what I would have done without you in my life.

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Be kind to yourself! people here care about you!

originally posted by: Night Star

Hang in there Sweetness!
I am lending you Pesky the pixie,

Night that whole reply post made me cry, tears are good in my world.
Some one should give you an applause, wink, wink Mods.
Do you have an extra pixie?

LoneCloud enjoy your days off, listen to your heart beat, to the wind and gain strength.

originally posted by: WalkInSilence

originally posted by: Night Star

Hang in there Sweetness!
I am lending you Pesky the pixie,

Night that whole reply post made me cry, tears are good in my world.
Some one should give you an applause, wink, wink Mods.
Do you have an extra pixie?

LoneCloud enjoy your days off, listen to your heart beat, to the wind and gain strength.

I have many pixies and faeries and dragons and... Pesky is actually a character I use in the ongoing story here at the Shed. It a thread that is a combination of chit chat, sharing our daily lives and a collaborative story that anyone can join if they feel like it. When there is a story entry, it is written in a different colored font so you can find the story in the middle of all the other stuff. So...yeah, sending you a pixie of your own with much love.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

My boss emailed me, saying he's "come up with" an idea. He asked me to write a short and professional, dated report of what was said and done in the past. "Short," yeah right...I got it down to 9 pages, which was what I'd managed to do for a book synopsis in the past. Summarizing events, twists and personalities isn't easy, especially when it's been something of an opera. Anyway, his idea is to slip the manager the report so it's in his possession, and it would thus be a detailed list of what has happened so that if any further events unfold I'll have evidence to back up my side. He further says that he still believes that the manager doesn't really believe her...

Sounds like he's made no progress but is making an effort to try and help protect me...I so badly want to keep this job...as a struggling writer who needs to work to pay bills this job offers me the free time and pay I need to do what I love on my spare time...but at the same time, I don't know how much more of this I can take...the foreman is keeping his workers back from working around me until I'm done buffing around where they work. This makes me look bad and they are bitter at me for making them wait, I can tell...I'll be speaking with the foreman next time I see him...meanwhile I planned to apply for jobs when I get up from my sleep later today, since I have a night off for a holiday...I don't want to apply for another job, yet, sigh...if only foresight was 20/20...

Well, now my boss says that he doesn't expect anything further to happen, and neither should I, given the way the manager has handled it...great...just great...so, really, I should just report management...

Oh Dear, did you submit the requested "report" ?
If you haven't seek legal help. And if you have, seek legal help. It sounds like a set up to me.
My inner bells and whistles are going off after reading your last two posts.

So you have been falsely accused and harassed and nothing is going to happen.

You need to rest, eat and socialize. Don't talk about your problems in social settings it will only distract you and you need to focus. Just have fun. Don't let others drown you in their problems.

Is there an Island for hyper sensitive people? I'll go.

a reply to: WalkInSilence

Yes, I submitted my report. You're not the first person to tell me that this sounds like a trap. From my perspective, it's all the truth. Almost all of it was reported in the past.

Well, I am getting along better with the night crew now. Part of it was how this has affected me. It never ceases to confuse me how people feel you have an 'attitude' when you're really just struggling to get through a difficult time. I haven't snapped at anyone or anything. I haven't been working angrily since that one night. Now that I'm depressed I'm less anxious.

Oh, yeah, didn't mention that the night that I heard from my boss that he had done all he could do I felt crushed and I could feel myself collapsing, as if psychological fortifications were breaking down inside me. I never fell into depression so quickly. It's not a deep depression, just what I call semi-depressed. In other words, I can still do my job, am capable of laughing, but I don't feel like doing much, don't smile much and I feel dumb. The evil cashier was smiling last night because she's always happy when I'm down and hateful when I'm happy.

I used to describe myself as "explicitly sensitive." That was probably before I heard of "hypersensitivity." Wish there was an island for people like us. It seems like only those of us who are this sensitive can understand each other that well.