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Psycho Cashier FALSELY Accuses Me of Sexual Harassment?? Advice??

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posted on Oct, 23 2015 @ 07:43 PM
a reply to: BrokedownChevy

They do indeed. Star for you.

Unfortunately, some people will drop the race card (or 'sex card') just for their own interests, not caring who it wrongfully hurts. It's doubly disrespectful because it not only disrespects the wrongly accused, but also others of their race or sex who are facing legitimate discrimination.

posted on Oct, 23 2015 @ 08:20 PM

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2

Yes, being a writer I think of the word differently than most probably do. Most people probably automatically translate "relationship" to "romance," but I don't.

Shame on you, you have a vocabulary.
I have found that a majority of people in the lower brackets of income despise and become aggressive towards their "piers" if they express them selves in an intelligent educated manner. Especially on this side of the pond.(Atlantic)
I have all ways worked in manual labor. A trade as it would be considered in more civilized countries. Here one is expected to be ignorant in underpaid, non-college degree jobs.

I've been asked to not use the word around her again.

I have to share this.
In my Horror job I was reprimanded for crossing my arms. I tried to explain that that is what I do when I settle in to listen to some one, to give them full attention or just relax. I do know the body language says "Stay Away". But hay, I can't cross my arms when I listen to some one.
So I started crossing my arms ALL the time, when ever I wasn't using my hands and at breaks.
You could say things like "The relationship between this or that chemical" or if the weather is bad "The relationship between the high pressure zone and the bla bla bla"

I do hope you find something more rewarding. They are going to crucify you because they can't tolerate independent individuality.

Yes and all the advice you have been given is very sane, be careful and thanks for a well maintained thread.
edit on 23-10-2015 by WalkInSilence because: oddity

posted on Oct, 24 2015 @ 12:03 AM
a reply to: WalkInSilence

It's the same here; you're not supposed to be well-spoken, dress too nice or make much money. People respect you (or seem to) when you come across as an "honest, hard-working man," and despise you if you become successful. Not everyone is like that, however. Most of the people where I work are pretty decent. I'm sure they say things behind my back, but they do that with each other as well. Around here, gossiping seems to be the popular pastime.

I like that you should that confidence with crossing arms. There was a unionized factory that I used to work in, where I was told by a boss not to cross my arms while he was speaking to a few of us. We had to just stand there and wait, and listen, so why not? I understood that it makes you look lazy, I assumed was his issue, but I've never been one to care what someone else does with their arms or hands, never mind my own. To me it's immaterial.

Well, I am a self-published author and that's what I love. While building that, I have this relatively easy little night job. If it wasn't for the stress caused by this one individual it would be a piece of cake. In this job, I have no boss over me or employees under me, no co-workers. It's a pretty good job to pay the bills. That said, the pride in me has often considered getting a degree in something, or even starting a business, but such things demand so much time and energy that I wouldn't get much writing done. Lately however, I have been considering other options.

Thanks for your advice and understanding

posted on Oct, 24 2015 @ 12:19 AM
As a partial update, my boss is still trying to arrange a meeting for us with the manager. Meanwhile, the manager has a person there who has been staying at night (he normally works days,) and he just hangs around and observes. It's been pretty obvious that was asked to keep a watch on us, but to make sure, the other day I asked what he's been doing. He told me he's just "hanging around." I just sure, "Sure" in a joking way. There are rumours of people being talked to, in regards to the scenario. The evil cashier is quite upset about it, apparently.

One night the assistant foreman asked me what I did to the evil cashier. I had to tell him a few times that I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. I asked him what he knew and he told me that I'd supposedly "clipped" her with my equipment. I lifted my right hand and said, "Swear to God, that never happened!" He believed me and said she's crazy. In a way these people seem to believe me, but they are so easily persuaded by her because she can act totally certain about something. For a long time she had me convinced that she truly believed the lies she said to me. I thought she was just crazy, until I realized how strategic she is.

Why I know 100% that this never happened is because, besides the fact that I am always careful, I am VERY CAREFUL around her. She has attempted to get herself injured by me a number of times, between slipping on my cleaned floors to walking, suddenly, right out in front of my equipment! I reported this on one occasion when she was shopping before her shift, walking towards me while I operated the large auto-scrubber. Just as I came close to her, she suddenly turned and walked exactly to collide with it! I had to slow it down and move it aside to avoid hitting her (which I was prepared to do, because I always am around her.) One of the other employees witnessed this and I saw his reaction of confusion of why she would do such a thing. When I reported it to the foreman, this worker admitted to having witnessed this. I would never have accused her of trying to get herself injured before this because it sounds 'over the top,' but she IS over the top.

This is part of the stress of working there when she's there: never knowing when she'll suddenly try something crazy! I think it's had me much more on edge than I previously realized!

posted on Oct, 24 2015 @ 07:43 PM
LoneCloud, if she has seniority over you, you are first to go.
Find something else before they fire you on false charges. The meeting with the head Manager is a hoax to put you on the spot. They have to justify keeping her there for so long with out repercussions. Don't trust any one, please.

I used to live in a civilized country where the unions where strong and the workers knew their rights and respected each other. A sociopath like this would have been spotted and dealt with in a "kind" manner.
We don't live in this utopia. Don't let your reputation be ruined by this. Move on.

I am so disappointed with the system over here. I feel like I constantly must choose between my integrity and survival.
Who wins? Who is sacrificed first?
If I didn't have my animals to care for I would be a "Bag Lady" but I have to put up with BS to feed and house them. I rather suffer than them.
Take Care

posted on Oct, 24 2015 @ 09:35 PM
a reply to: WalkInSilence

Thanks for your advice. I will consider this.

Sorry to hear your circumstances are also difficult. I only have one cat, so it's not so bad for me in that regard. Good jobs are hard to find, especially these days. Even going to University might not be wise, depending on what you choose to take, I suppose. Seems like it comes down between a choice of money or happiness. My current job is one I've been okay with, when a certain someone isn't there, that is. It's brutal world we live in.

I can't really look for a job right now because I'm suffering from insomnia. It takes all my resourcefulness to get any sleep, and it leaves me quite exhausted. I'm still praying this will work out...somehow.
edit on 24-10-2015 by LoneCloudHopper2 because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 24 2015 @ 09:56 PM
a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

You may find that when she tells a lie in conversation she begins talking a little sooner than if she was telling the truth. She's put so much practice into lying the lies jump out of her mouth, then she stops to think and check it fits in with what she assumes the other person knows.

You have to decide if you're studying crazy or cleaning floors. If you're studying crazy you couldn't be in a better place.

posted on Oct, 25 2015 @ 05:50 AM
a reply to: Kester

You're absolutely right. Seems you know this personality type quite well!

I'm hopeful that this can be resolved, it's just sad to hear that a meeting has yet to be sheduled. Every night I have to work there, when she's there, drains me more than anyone realizes.

posted on Oct, 25 2015 @ 08:10 PM
Just keep venting here it will help. Your immediate surroundings will run out of supportive feelings because there is no resolve. But you need a place to express your self. And it sounds like the people who have tagged on here are giving back up.

Why are some people so destructive, it doesn't make sense.

posted on Oct, 26 2015 @ 12:26 AM
a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

I'm aghast this is still ongoing! I read this thread when it first came up but felt it would have been resolved, one way or another, before now.

I think that the person 'just hanging around' is definitely watching you both and that one or both of you is going to be fired as soon as there is some evidence. Be very careful, and not just with her. Don't give them any cause.

In the meantime, like was suggested upthread, be looking around for another job. Since you want fairly simple night work, it shouldn't be too hard to find something suitable while maintaining your writing.

posted on Oct, 26 2015 @ 01:16 AM
a reply to: WalkInSilence


I'm too tired right now to vent. If I lost my job I would have a LOT of venting to do lol

posted on Oct, 26 2015 @ 01:35 AM
a reply to: Ameilia

Wow, I think you got it! Thanks for this. That does make so much sense. It explains why they've been avoiding my boss, and thus with meeting me and hearing my side (because they do not want to pick sides, if they're just waiting for someone to slip up.) I'm used to people knowing and respecting my character, but the manager doesn't know me. From his view, he's got two people accusing each other of things, so he wants to get either video footage or a witnesses of one of them crossing the line so he can end it! Part of this may also be because of the fact that it went for so long. I may not be an employee of theirs but I work for them, I have rights and this should have been resolved a long time ago. If I were to call the Labour Board I bet they'd be unhappy about how long this was allowed to go on for.

I was all on edge tonight, worried that the evil cashier would pop out in front of me around one of the many, many corners I have to go through and injure herself on purpose! I got the feeling she was up to something at one point, when she seemed to be hiding from my view. I never saw her until after cleaning that area. Then, she calls for the foreman to go to the front of the store. She might have accused me of striking her again. Who knows.

This puts me on the difficult side of it. All she has to do is stand around and clean some surfaces, serve occasional customers, not go at me in front of anyone. I, on the other hand, have so much to do, with large and heavy equipment, trying not to hit anyone or anything while doing everything right, while watching out for her...all she may need to do is to 'accidentally' slip on my floors again and injure herself. It would be difficult to prove she did that on purpose. I have to put down more wet floor signs...

If they let me go for some B.S. reason like this I'm calling the Labour Board and the police. I'll fight it all the way.

You're right that I should look for another job. I'm stubborn though and I really want my name to be cleared with this mess. Also, I've worked so hard, put up with so, so much that I feel I've earned the right not to leave. I know that's not logic, just stubbornness. I probably should look in the meantime to be just angers me because I shouldn't have to...

posted on Oct, 29 2015 @ 03:29 AM
on good nights I get 3 hrs sleep.

on bad nights, none....last night i got an hour's sleep....probably because I listened to political videos and found my passion for my beliefs again and felt a bit alive for a change....but i paid up for it...every night i try to just watch old episodes of frasier on dvd and nothing else. normally i multi-task, listening to a thought-provoking docu while drawing or writing ideas for my next book. can't write. can't go out much. tired of being tired...

every night i take meds for anxiety, a Magnesium pill, some nutmeg in warm milk, then i listen to religious music and prayer against evil, then relaxing music that always helped me get to sleep, and now i can play it for hours and just lie there. 8 am...12pm...2...usually by 4 i am to sleep. all my efforts on work days, while home, are on calming my jittery heart and stress/tension and relaxing, stop worrying...i pray and let positive energy fill me, strengthen and heal me. i can be very calm, to the point of smiling, contented, and yet sleep is still hard.

at my workplace people are now awkward and many are avoiding me. some look sorry for me but some are unpleasant when i work near them. at the same time that i am dealing with this awful suspense of waiting to see who gets fired, some of these nights i have to deal with the evil cashier still blocking isles and playing little games and i have to ignore her, her female baker buddy observing me, the guy from work has been "hanging around," observing her and me, while dealing with these awkward or judgemental attitudes around me, while having so little energy to get through each night that i am now praying to god for his strength to get me through! seems to work! i got through tonight as if i'd gotten more hours than one!

a friend advises that i talk and engage these people and they'll see how nice and honest i am. they should already know. and i do know they have no IDEA what i am really going through here....but yes, i can pray for more of god's strength and see how much better i can do, but much depends on how much sleep i get (although tonight didn't seem to matter...) i've had insomnia in the past...lately i am becoming forgetful and doing silly things. when i speak, my language comes out wrong. think i kinda made the nice cashier tonight a bit uncomfortable because of how i talked, stumbling through simple words and forgetting what I was going to say.

i am so drained, so tired. i just want this to end.

wanted to call manager myself and make a damned meeting but i was advised to leave it to my boss to do, as he said.

this is awful...i'm a grown man, i've overcome terrible things, painful crises, you name it, yet , as tough as i am, lately i find myself wanting to weep while i work and i try so hard to fight it back, like the stress. i work while i force myself to keep going while i fight the emotional hurt and anxiety and drowsy affects of sleep loss. oh joy. i've sacrificed so much and overcame so much, for what? THIS?

sorry but i needed to rant. i am beat.

posted on Oct, 29 2015 @ 01:23 PM
Like I told you...just be your sweet wonderful self. People are not blind and will clearly see that you are not to blame for anything. Just remember that some of the people who you feel may be avoiding you or thinking badly of you, may just have their own battles in life they are facing that have nothing to do with you. It's ok to be sensitive, to feel things deeply and to cry when you are upset. It doesn't make you any less of a man and makes me love you even more.

posted on Oct, 29 2015 @ 06:28 PM
a reply to: Night Star

thanks for that beautiful post, Night

posted on Oct, 29 2015 @ 07:02 PM
a reply to: Night Star
LoneCloud, I do resonate with NightStars sentiments. And commend her for that. It was a most beautiful post.

But. You are putting yourself through hell. Don't be an emotional Rambo, "Love them, they will love me back"
Yes you are a wonderful being, but perhaps there is a place where people will actually love you? Perhaps?
Where you don't have to sacrifice your integrity.
Where you can be who you are?
Keep ranting.

By the way. Who am I to give advice. I am a bull headed, non compromising person. I will put myself at jeopardy to defend another person and never compromise my self.
So I am poor and penniless because I won't play the game.

Please pray for another opportunity.

posted on Oct, 30 2015 @ 02:47 AM
a reply to: WalkInSilence

That's actually refreshing advice...maybe I'll try to stop caring about them so much. However, I do like the job. I never did socialize with them that much, other than to be friendly when they weren't until they eventually accepted me. To me, they're just regular people (I don't expect much from most people.) The nice cashier is great though. She watched her nervous reaction to me this time and we both became more comfortable. I can be very natural with her, even if I'm a bit beside myself. If the evil cashier could leave I could return to doing my job and I'm sure we'd get along fine. Right now it's very confusing because I am so psychologically weak. You made a great point though; they're not worth trying too hard to please, perhaps.

don't feel like ranting right now, too tired.

Thanks for caring

posted on Nov, 3 2015 @ 05:56 PM
LoneCloud I hope you are doing well? Since we haven't an update I assume the old adage " No news is good news" perhaps can be applied here.

I will say it took me a long time to finally decide to resign from a very advantages position that I had sought for more than eight years. It is a hard discussion to make. To walk the plank.

posted on Nov, 4 2015 @ 02:22 AM
a reply to: WalkInSilence

Sorry I didn't update. I actually thought people were probably tired of me ranting or complaining lol Well, that and there isn't much to say yet...I am still waiting...judging by your comment I assume this would surprise you as it does me, that after all this time, and how serious it's become, that I: A. Am still waiting for a meeting. B. Still have not been told what all, and precisely, I've been accused of. C. Still pushing through each night with all of my strength...

Added to which the bridge I walk over is now in repair for 2-4 weeks and so my walk to and from has been lengthened by 10-15 minutes. joy. some nights I have to force myself to get home. even last night I barely got any sleep.

I plan to call my boss when I get up this evening and ask what is going as nice a way as I can without being fake...

As for recent events, the night before this last one was odd. A security guard called the foreman and assistant foreman to the storefront and they met with the third-in-charge and the three of them went upstairs, either to have a secret meeting or possibly to go over camera footage. Lately there are men putting up all kinds of wires and the amount of cameras in the stores seems ready to double. It was possible that they'd put hidden cameras up recently. The evil cashier was quite worried and upset that night. I was so hoping that they'd catch her in a lie about me and that she would be fired for it...but, I really don't know what that was about for sure, and I haven't asked. I've been quiet, head down, talking politely to people now and again on pleasant topics.

Still...I was so hoping she wouldn't be in there tonight, and she was...and the same old games: the usual blocking me at cash isles, but also cleaning before I got to the dining area. She realized recently that I will clean a fair distance around her so that she can't as easily accuse me of injuring her--or actually manage to get herself injured--so now she is expanding her zones, forcing me further away from she keeps customers talking at her cash isle when I need to clean it, just for fun...etc.

I got angry tonight, but not with her (although I'm sure she took delight in thinking this,) but at management. More than anything I so badly wanted to abandon my burnisher and just walk out. But, I can't afford to do that...I also want to tell me my boss when we speak again that I refuse to work with her another night, but, I can't afford to do, I must hold on. People at work feel sorry for me but they're also a bit humoured by it. They have NO IDEA what this has done to takes so much strength to get through each day, so much focus to relax myself and get sleep at night. I feel very deeply and people often fail to grasp this about me...when I hurt, I hurt deeply. tonight I actually had some suicidal thoughts, but don't worry, I'd never do that to me or my loved ones. I'm just tired of the pain. All my life has been a fight. And it's so damned random, pointless. I did everything to stand up to this woman and so far, she's still coming's okay to lie about me, push me around? It's okay to bound my arms behind my back so I can't fight back against her? It's okay to expect me to keep taking it and taking it and taking it..?

needless to say, I will be looking for another job. I can't handle this. I really like my job. I know from experience how nightmarish jobs can be, but then, of ALL my jobs this one has been by far the hadest. She may be the only reason, but still, it is what it is...

posted on Nov, 4 2015 @ 03:15 AM
a reply to: WalkInSilence

After eight years that would indeed be tough. Recently I thought to myself that life is too short. Thing is, it doesn't seem like I can ever find happiness. I stay as joyful as I can, savouring the simple things in life, but there are always cruel challenges.

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