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Psycho Cashier FALSELY Accuses Me of Sexual Harassment?? Advice??

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posted on Oct, 16 2015 @ 11:08 PM
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a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2 I have been following this thread and didn't comment because there was already some good advice, I felt I had nothing more to add.
I am glad for the update and did want to suggest different shifts as that would be ideal.
I know what you meant when you said relationship and clearly this woman has issues with people or perhaps just men.

Here is definition of relationship.

www.oxforddictionaries.com...
You know what you meant didn't mean what she took it for, so you should be fine.
Stay strong and be well.




posted on Oct, 16 2015 @ 11:51 PM
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a reply to: peppycat

Yes, being a writer I think of the word differently than most probably do. Most people probably automatically translate "relationship" to "romance," but I don't. I've been asked to not use the word around her again. This is ridiculous to me but I'll have to really watch my words around her anyway.

Thanks!



posted on Oct, 17 2015 @ 05:54 AM
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a reply to: Painterz

Check wiretapping laws that could bite you in the ass.



posted on Oct, 17 2015 @ 12:41 PM
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I have a horrible boss too. She once told me, rudely, to not let the other employees get to me with their constant harassment, or they will have won. It would have been so easy to get rid of those people, but she wouldn't even talk to them about it. She once told me employees can do whatever they like because they're impossible to replace. However, my boss would clap her hands at me and say "chop chop" to indicate that I needed to be working even faster while she stood around and talked to other employees about their lives. She would even redirect her anger at me telling me to fix another employees mistake.

So, I tried to leave and got a hefty raise. I then took my boss's attitude of "I don't care". I just glare at her and the other employees when spoken to. I can appear pretty intimidating. Now, people leave me alone, and I manage how I see fit. Everyone is very polite to me, and my boss even apologizes to me for her laziness.

I managed to secure a little power and let it corrupt me. LOL

BTW, this is in no way my ideal working condition. However, I'm being paid so much now, I can't find another job that matches the rate.
edit on 17-10-2015 by gentledissident because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 17 2015 @ 10:24 PM
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a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

I knew a manager like that - of course, I'd be in a lot more trouble if said person pulled anything like what she's doing to you (I don't put up with those sort of games).

The policy that I took back then is this:
1. Don't talk about it with coworkers - I learned the hard way that finding an ally at work is hard to come by, and the last thing you need right now is a rumor circulating back.

2. Keep record of your interactions, be it in the form of notes or audio. There are laws about recording someone without their knowledge, but there's nothing against writing the facts down on paper.

3. Keep interactions with said person to a minimum, and only respond when addressed with a generic question. For example, if she asks "When will you be done?", say something that indicates you will not offer up anything else ("20 minutes", "when this floor section is done", "soon"). If the question sounds mocking, inappropriate, or condescending, fight the urge to respond in kind; they want a rise out of you.

4. When she makes life difficult, work around her. For example, if she stands in the middle of the aisle, only mop up to a 3 foot radius, then use another aisle to do the other part on the other side of her, leaving a section of un-mopped floor where she's standing. Come back to that spot when she's moved on (which she will).

5. Again, don't let her get a rise out of you!

-foss

PS: One thing that I found helped me is that if someone made loud derogatory comments about me, I make an even louder comment stating that I don't appreciate the person's comments towards me. That way, I make it known that I do not like what I hear.



posted on Oct, 18 2015 @ 01:19 AM
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a reply to: gentledissident

That's great that it worked for you! Congrats!

In my case, I've tried everything I could think of and nothing worked. Not with this individual.



posted on Oct, 18 2015 @ 01:23 AM
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a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2
You've said you are a writer.
Are you more intelligent than this person? If so, that would account for the strength of her resentment, and would make it nearly insuperable.



posted on Oct, 18 2015 @ 01:25 AM
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a reply to: fossilera

Thanks for the advice! I think you're probably right about co-workers. They're all gossipers anyway. No secrets would last long. I said something to the acting foreman the last night I worked about me fighting it, but not here at work. I won't say anything else.

I really need to just go in, be distant but polite, avoid her at all costs and get out. If parts of the floor doesn't get done I'll have a good reason why, in theory at least. Avoiding her and at the same time trying not to alert her to anything are my top priories. I have to let her feel that she's won and not get suspicious, if I can. When I do talk to her, when necessary, I'll keep it very brief and very polite.



posted on Oct, 18 2015 @ 01:58 AM
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a reply to: DISRAELI

There really is no way to say you're more intelligent than someone else without sounding arrogant, but hell yeah. Would she have noticed? Not sure. I didn't talk much in the early days. She seems obsessed with me. My point about her trying to create a "relationship" was that, like right now, my life is made to evolve around her influences! She goes out of her way to try to get to me or to strategize a way to get to me. It seems like some kind of obsession, be it attraction (to me,) resentment (of whatever,) or hatred.

I think a key point is how miserable she gets when I am openly happy and how (at least seemingly) happy she becomes when I am miserable. Plus, her issues with space, territory. It's a LOT about power.

I have a relative who is a real, true narcissist and she's a hell of a lot smarter than this one. That's part of what annoys me about this...I actually know a fair amount about psychology, about this kind of personality and the tricks they play. She's a pretty unintelligent example of one and yet...she's in this position where it's very hard because she gets all the power. Fortunately she's been foolish enough to hurt her own credibility.

This one, she has a constantly dumbfounded expression on her face, confused brows and her eyes baffled and dark. She likes BS (be it positive or negative,) but hates getting real. She's one of those people who tries to sound intelligent by discussing cooking with a friend at the store and quoting from cook books she's read, different ingredients and methods of cooking, etc. (not out of genuine interest but loudly to, um, show off lol) She's also hurt her credibility a great deal by playing stupid mind games that people can see through, putting on a display of emotion and saying things don't make any sense to people, like telling a security guard to watch out for all the water one night when there was hardly any water on the floor. She lets people know she's idiotic, but when you confront her about her behaviour she'll play stupid as a defensive mechanism (showing that she can use it deliberately to her defence,) like a pea-brain, not understanding at all what you mean even though it's clear. When you make it clear it's clear she'll then turn it around and say you're this and that, blah blah (all BS and pretty bad BS too.)

It seems to me that narcissistic personalities hate me because they sense me seeing through them. They can be quite foolish (but this can be due to their arrogance) and yet highly perceptive and manipulative. Early on she was nice to me and I was polite, but I didn't entirely buy her 'genuinely nicey nice' act. I've known genuine souls and they don't have anything to prove, they just are who they are. This one struck me as fake from the start but I was polite, but I've long suspected that she saw through it and resented that I didn't take to her act. Maybe this whole power thing is a way to feel she has me under control, but, I don't know why she'd think she has control over everyone else (almost everyone can see through her to some extent.)

I'm not entirely sure what her problem is, but she won't ever stop. This I know.
edit on 18-10-2015 by LoneCloudHopper2 because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 20 2015 @ 02:52 AM
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a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

From the outside this is going to look like two people saying stuff about each other. It doesn't matter that you know what's true because you were there. Being right doesn't mean you have to battle it out.

Suppose, against the odds, you got a reasonable outcome from a properly filed complaint and official investigation. She'd just find some other nasty way to get at you. When a friend's aunt was offended by a mans behaviour she swam under his boat in the marina and drilled a hole in it. I don't suppose you've got a boat in a marina but you get my drift.

Bodyworn video and audio recording equipment can record events in a way that is almost undeniable. Legal technicalities make much of it inadmissible as evidence. There are probably rules about using personal recording devices on work premises. You'll look like a creep for recording secretly.

If she wants a fight and you give her a fight then you've given her what she wants, and she'll be more experienced at it than you.

'Don't have a stupid argument with a fool because the expert will win.'
edit on 20 10 2015 by Kester because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 20 2015 @ 08:20 AM
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a reply to: Kester

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and concerns for my situation.

My boss is trying to reach the manager to schedule a meeting between the three of us. I have records of her behaviour going back a year. I have reported many things, all which are dated, and that makes them quite credible reports. Never had anyone spoken to me, at all, about me saying or doing anything wrong with her until now. My records show how hard I tried to deal with her, and how her games kept changing to come at me in another way.

I find it hard to believe that good guys can win too, and I've certainly had experiences where you'd be right. In this case however, I think I have a very strong case that should convince the manager to switch her to a different schedule. If this doesn't work out, I'll be seriously looking for employment elsewhere, AND calling the police to report her behaviour.

There is a risk in this, which is why I'm praying to God for the truth to come out.
edit on 20-10-2015 by LoneCloudHopper2 because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 20 2015 @ 09:44 AM
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a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

The jury seems to be out on whether emotional tears are a way of removing toxins from the brain, skeptics.stackexchange.com...

But that's where this all seems to be leading to. At some point she's going to shed a lot of tears and feel better afterwards.

Good luck.



posted on Oct, 20 2015 @ 12:36 PM
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originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2
a reply to: gentledissident

That's great that it worked for you! Congrats!

My boss still gets in little jabs when she can. She knows I'm very into cats, so she's twice happily brought up how her dog eats cats.

I told her I'd need Dec 18 off. She casually asked why. I informed her that it's the Star Wars 7 premier. She put on an awful face and said, "Yuck!"



posted on Oct, 20 2015 @ 12:39 PM
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originally posted by: gentledissident

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2
a reply to: gentledissident

That's great that it worked for you! Congrats!

My boss still gets in little jabs when she can. She knows I'm very into cats, so she's twice happily brought up how her dog eats cats.

I told her I'd need Dec 18 off. She casually asked why. I informed her that it's the Star Wars 7 premier. She put on an awful face and said, "Yuck!"


I would happily reply that I kill dogs who eat my cats.

Sounds like an awful woman.



posted on Oct, 21 2015 @ 12:55 AM
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a reply to: Kester

She's already done this. She cries when the foreman speaks to her when I report her (which is why he really hates it when I do, thus why I feel awkward having to do it.) I'm sure put on quite a show for the manager. She can be very convincing. I'm relying on the evidence and common sense to rule over her mind games.



posted on Oct, 21 2015 @ 01:02 AM
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a reply to: gentledissident

That is a very similar attitude to this one. She used to make disgusted expressions at some of the items I bought. It's always about trying to get to you on a personal level.

It would be more difficult dealing with someone like then they're your boss, for sure.



posted on Oct, 21 2015 @ 01:12 AM
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a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Fake tears won't remove toxins from her brain, if that's what proper crying does.

I can understand why you've shared this. It really is a tough one.

Putting on a show, very convincing, tears on demand. She probably practised all this as a child, testing different sorrowful expressions in the mirror. You are essentially dealing with a child. Does she tut and humph as well?
edit on 21 10 2015 by Kester because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 21 2015 @ 04:24 AM
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a reply to: Kester

You've nailed it! She is indeed an adult child and she DOES tut and humph! She does many subtle but very personal (and seemingly authentic) things to try to get to me. There was a time when it did, but I'm pretty good of ignoring and moving on. She hates it if I smirk. She reacts as if I'm spiting her, so that seems to be a good defensive for this tactic. It's amazing how much communication can go on between two people without anyone knowing!
edit on 21-10-2015 by LoneCloudHopper2 because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 23 2015 @ 07:56 AM
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Here's what you do. Repeat the same line every time she attempts to make contact with you. "this has been a pleasant conversation, we should continue it during the appropriate break time". Never say anything else. Never offer anything other than that and avoid her at all costs. Just repeat that until she gets annoyed at your lack of confrontation. She'll get bored and move on. She wants to escalate things and might have some kind of obsession with you because she has a need for contact with you. Be very careful and find a new job immediately. If management won't fire her for aggressive behavior then they never will which means things can only get worse. Prove to yourself that you have an unshakeable foundation. It'll be ok. Promise. Take action in your own life by putting yourself in a new situation. New job!



posted on Oct, 23 2015 @ 08:00 AM
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I had a supervisor who once said that German people scare her and that she would never hire a male. I'm a German male. I turned in my letter of resignation and in return I received a 25% raise and a transfer to a new department. Racism and sexism definitely exist.




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