I am looking for advice. Hopefully I can keep this short.
For about a year now I have been harassed and bullied by an older, female worker (I am male, mid-30's.) I work in floor maintenance in a grocery
store where she works as a cashier. This woman was nice at first, but then started at me. She approached me (sort of) as I walked up the stairs to the
upstairs and she asked why I was being such an “ass%!#e” and walking through the store with my heavy equipment like I don't give a damn about
anyone but myself (this is a 24-hour store.) Foolish me, I actually thought she meant it! I opened up in my honest, youthful way to show I had nothing
to hide and meant no wrong. She, on the other hand, just wanted to blast me with how I was this and that, and each time I attempted to explain myself
she shook her head as if I was being extremely rude to not accept my horrible behaviour (as if I was making excuses.) I attempted to explain what my
job entails, how I have a lot to do and need to work quickly, how did my very best to be cautious and respectful, doing everything the way I was
trained, but she would shake her head as if that was all B.S. I really tried to connect to her and get her to see my sincerity, but she walked away
saying I was a horrible person and they'd have to find a new cleaner.
I was quite self-conscious for a while, wondering if she was right. But she had no interest in hearing my side. I was angry that I'd opened up so
emotionally to her when she was full of crap. I talked with my boss, who's been known to monitor video recordings of his employees, and he assured me
that I was doing the job RIGHT, the way I was trained, and that the last full-time cleaner (whom she regarded as being so nice and considerate) was
actually the rude one he'd had problems with. So, what she claimed to be was the opposite of the truth! Note: I am actually more self-confident now
because of her.
Another time she slipped on the floor while I was cleaning. She slipped again, angry at me for putting down so much water. I explained that I was
cleaning the cash isles with exactly as much water as I was trained to. She slipped a third time! This time while walking straight passed a wet floor
sign, the floor wet and me mopping right in front of her! With slippery shoes she walked by, head high, and slipped! When I explained this and the
previous incidents to my boss he said she sounded "crazy." Indeed!
She would get after me over various things, face red, eyes dark, shivering with...some kind of fit. She radiates so much negativity it's amazing, and
unfortunately it DID get to me. I'd dealt with many difficult personalities before, and in hindsight I really underestimated her. She would often walk
right up to me when I was operating my equipment, with plenty of space to walk around (and anyone else would,) and then get angry at me for blocking
her! One time she stepped out of an aisle and slammed her foot down on the floor and snarled at me like I was some mangy dog who needed to run away
fast! Never had I been treated like that before! I just stood there, staring at her like...WTF??? On occasion I would approach her and politely ask
what was wrong. She would act dumb at first, then turning it all around on me, saying I was this and that, as if she was sincere...honestly, she had
me wondering from time to time if she really BELIEVED what she was claiming of me. Bah!
I wrote down various such incidents to my boss, who had the manager speak to her. After that, I've reported her multiple times. I was determined to be
strong and stay in the right on everything! She decreased the open show of supposed defiance (?) against me, resorting then to lesser things like
refusing to move from an aisle I needed to clean because she was cleaning the belt at that time and wanted me to work around her instead of
vice-versa. I kept reporting these things, over and over, she would stop, and start doing them again. Mostly it's the hateful sneers, the negative
vibe always there, that 'I hate you' air I have to work in around her that gets to me. Sometimes she actually walks around me, shoulders raised, like
a macho man....I have NO IDEA what that's about...it would make me wonder though if she found me intimidating (but, I no longer think so.)
Changing tactics, I tried ignoring her. This took some effort! After a while I got so good at it that one night it seemed as if nothing could possibly
bother me (I was so happy, loose and natural, despite her,) yet she still kept at me in various ways, from extremely petty things to the tactics I've
mentioned here. I could feel her rage building that I was so happy, and knew she'd do something. She actually stopped again in a cash isle, refusing
to move, again. Another night she complained to a security guard there that I was putting down too much water, so be careful where you step! I smiled
and said: "Actually, I've been complimented for putting down less water than the other guy." No wonder, since, to avoid her falling on her ass, I wet
the mop only once when doing the cash aisles! The floor was barely wet at all! See how full of crap she is?
I talked to a friend and explained the scenario: basically she is spitting in my face (metaphorically) every night, I wipe it off and say I don't
mind, but of course I do a some level. I asked why she was still at me when I was ignoring her so well, and my friend said because I was TAKING it,
not standing up for myself. So, when she, yet again, refused to let me do my job, I asked why she was being such an evil *bleep* and got her to move
aside. This was when she started threatening to speak to the manager. I dared her, calling her bluff. She was in the wrong, after all! For a YEAR now
I'd taken abuse, always was nice in turn, always reported her properly, and yet I'd suffered sleepless nights and great anxiety and began taking meds
just because of her! I thought, 'yes, if she really hates me standing up to her then keep doing it!'
The last night I did, the night before last, she spoke out loudly to a night worker (and anyone else around) how the floors were wet and to watch your
step. Of course this was pure B.S., just to make me look and feel bad. I ignored it and after I purchased some items I confronted her and asked her
why she was forming a "relationship" between us, tying her life to mine, when I just want to go to work and go HOME, no B.S. She laughed at first,
thinking I was implying she was coming onto me, but I explained what I meant and asked why she was so miserable inside that she resorts to picking on
me. The next day I get an email informing me that she has accused me of "making passes" at her and was advised to try to say nothing, work around her
and avoid her as much as possible (basically, to NOT defend myself in ANY WAY.) So now I truly AM a Human Punching Bag! And of course, she was all
smiles tonight! VERY NICE, even to ME! Basically the message I get is: just go along with being labelled a ‘pervert’ and all will be well. Yeah,
Everyone there sympathizes with me. They ALL know what she is like. Some common sense should have told the manager she was BS-ing him! Now it's
"sexual harassment??" She's saying I'm a pervert?? I plan to get the details of what exactly I am being accused of and phone the police, get a police
record of reporting her for harassment and defamation of character! I expect this to go on, sadly...
Any advice? It seems like a hopeless situation...
edit on 16-10-2015 by LoneCloudHopper2 because: (no reason given)