From Hate to Love: Complain -> Tolerate -> Accept -> Appreciate

a reply to: Peeple

Complaining is expressed tensions and mostly a symptom but not the problem. You advertise being dull.

No, I advertise being Appreciative and Complimenting and noticing more and more of The Beauty and Light in the world.

That may be dull to you or make you want to barf, but this is how A Pure Grateful/Happy Mind sees things and thinks.

I am not telling anyone what to do. I'm just saying that a pure grateful mind is always being grateful, happily appreciating, and complimenting.

a reply to: arpgme

So I complain about murder, then tolerate murder, then accept murder and finally appreciate murder.

I see.

Is this how it works with rape?

We complain about rape and how wrong it is, but all along rape happens and we have to tolerate that fact even as we campaign against it. So eventually, we accept that rape will happen. And who knows? We might eventually learn the appreciate the finer points of rape and what it does for society.

This sounds like the perfect recipe for moral degradation rather than love.

a reply to: ketsuko

Murdering and raping others is intolerance because it does not accepts the person who says "no" to being raped or murdered.

Appreciation of others leads to peace, not violence.

a reply to: arpgme

But if I'm supposed to accept others, I can't speak against how they act, including the things I might otherwise be intolerant of. Those things would include murder and rape.

How am I supposed to grow into perfect love otherwise?

Just Two Words
There once was a monastery that was very strict. Following a vow of silence, no one was allowed to speak at all. But there was one exception to this rule. Every ten years, the monks were permitted to speak just two words. After spending his first ten years at the monastery, one monk went to the head monk. "It has been ten years," said the head monk. "What are the two words you would like to speak?"

"Bed... hard..." said the monk.

"I see," replied the head monk.

Ten years later, the monk returned to the head monk’s office. "It has been ten more years," said the head monk. "What are the two words you would like to speak?"

"Food... stinks..." said the monk.

"I see," replied the head monk.

Yet another ten years passed and the monk once again met with the head monk who asked, "What are your two words now, after these ten years?"

"I... quit!" said the monk.

"Well, I can see why," replied the head monk. "All you ever do is complain."

originally posted by: arpgme
The only real choice with every thought and word, is to Complain or Appreciate.

Already, as has been mentioned, we begin with a false dilemma!
We can remain apathetic to 'thoughts', we can not 'believe' 'thoughts (and 'feelings' are 'thoughts') ... are at least two other possibilities.
By the bye, is the OP 'complaining' about 'complaining'? Complaining about 'negativity'?

There are many different Subjects and with every Subject whether money, family, friends, a lover, or any other topic; we can find things we Appreciate on all of these subjects or complain about.

The operant words; "can find", not 'must find'!

I'm going to cut through some of this emotional vagueness (and complaining);
First, if there is 'positiveness' in the human experience, there MUST be 'negativeness'!
They are two sides of the same JUDGMENTAL coin!
'Comfortable' defines 'uncomfortable', and vice versa!
Both exist in the dualistic 'thought/imagination'!
'Positive' and 'negative' (a new-age reiteration of 'good' and 'evil'), when I hear people use such terms, is based (in the VAST majority of cases) on nothing more than 'personal comfort'!

All 'meaning', all 'value', exists in the vanity of the imagination/thoughts of the beholder!

As humans, there is a buffet of 'feelings' that we perceive, and not all of them are 'comfortable'.
As we mature and gain Perspective, we come to realize that feelings and thoughts do not NEED to be 'comfortable'.
It is infantile to attempt to grasp and chase the 'comfortable feelings' and flee the uncomfortable ones!
As I said, 'feelings' are 'thoughts'!
They come, we experience them, and they pass.
If a 'feeling' or thought is uncomfortable, it will pass soon enough!

The 'problem' is not with 'complaining', it is with JUDGMENT of what Is!
All such insane 'judgment' exists in the imagination/EGO, of the observer!
If we did not JUDGE That Which Is, there can be no 'complaints', no 'positivity' (comfort) and, thus, no 'negativity' (discomfort)!

Beyond the 'judgment' and insane duality of the ego/imagination/thoughts, there can be no 'judgment', thus, no 'complaining'!

The state of unconditional Love/Enlightenment transcends all duality of the ego/imagination!
The Loving eye NEVER sees 'good' or 'evil', it only sees the Beloved! It NEVER 'judges' What Is!

With no vain 'judgment', there need be no vain 'hope'! 'Hope' is born of 'judgment' and finding the moment (the unique moment) to be 'unsatisfactory', for some imaginary, insane, dualistic... reason (thought)!

Yes, the Enlightened/unconditional Lovers do not 'complain', do not 'judge'... the Love is UNCONDITIONAL!

Never actually 'believe' anything that you 'think' or 'feel'!
That is a first step!

But saying that 'Love conquers all' isn't really a practical plan of action, it is Truth, but useless!

How to find such Love/Enlightenment is the real question!

“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi

True, unconditional Love is ALWAYS recognized by It's unconditional Virtues; Compassion, Empathy, Sympathy, Gratitude, Humility, Charity (charity is never taking more than your share of anything, ever!), Honesty, Happiness, Faith...
ALWAYS!
(Now you can tell the real thing from the cheap knock-offs offered by the ego! *__- )

Love requires practice, like a fine violin!
Practice! Practice! Practice!

Who is unworthy of Love?!

"If it cannot be thought with Love,
it doesn't need to be thought!
Don't think it!
If it cannot be spoken with Love,
it doesn't need to be said!
Don't say it!
If it cannot be done with Love,
it doesn't need to be done!
Don't do it!
If the day cannot be Saved by Love,
the day isn't worth saving,
offer it up with Love!!"

Wage Love! Practice Compassion!

tat tvam asi (en.wikipedia.org...)

As for 'uncomfortable feelings', which is what we are really talking about, just pay attention to them, learn to identify what is just a passing 'feeling/thought'.
That is the first step to not 'believing' it!
Even the bible says not to believe thoughts and feelings!
Thoughts/feelings are not your friend! They are the little red devil sitting on your shoulder and whispering into your ears!

'Pain' and 'pleasure' are merely two opposite Perspectives of the same One Coin!
Both equally 'valuable/relevant' in Our Completeness;

“Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy.”
― Rumi

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
--- Rumi

"I say that next to God there is no nobler thing than suffering. Right suffering is the mother of all virtues, for right suffering so subdues the heart, it cannot rise to pride but perforce is lowly." - Meister Eckhart

"Harkee, all rational souls! The swiftest steed to bear you to your goal is suffering; none shall ever taste eternal bliss but those who stand with Christ in depths of bitterness. Nothing is more gall-bitter than suffering, nothing so honey-sweet as to have suffered. The most sure foundation for this perfection is humility, for he whose nature here creeps in deepest depths shall soar in spirit to highest height of Deity.' - Meister Eckhart

"The growth of the soul in man is as that of a pearl in an oyster, both being caused by irritation." - Plato

Pain and Blessing/Bliss are One Reality!
The only difference is a matter of Perspective!

"The immature run from Pain, the Wise find the Blessing within!" - n

"Only a Breaking Heart can Love!" - n

I heard 'tolerance' mentioned, if one does not 'judge', one is not in the superior position to 'tolerate' others.
To 'tolerate' is an egoic 'virtue', conditional and vain!

Love accepts the moment, no matter what, subsuming it, becoming One with It!
Unconditional!

The white cell that keeps the invading bodies from making us ill, does not sally forth with guns and swords to kill the invader, it 'embraces it, integrates it into itself, Loves it, thus rendering it's damage potential nil!
Lover and Beloved become One!



Ethics, born of Love;

"Do NOT do to 'others' what you don't want done to you!"
(EVERYTHING in the Universe (and everyone), is 'others', and 'others' Is Self!)!

All 'complaint', all 'judgment', all 'hate', all 'dualistic discrimination'... is of Self!
One Omni- 'Self!'!