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Anti-Squirrel Patrol News/Information Network

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posted on Jan, 2 2005 @ 11:12 AM
*On Air*

Citizens! I come to You to present information on the Anti-Squirrel Patrol, how we work, and how we will Save You from the Tyranny of the NWO Squirrel Infestation!

I will also list those on ATS who would seek to enslave You in the name of the Cute and Furry Menace, and their capabilities, so that You might help in the Great Struggle!

The Enemy is Cunning, Ruthless, and Evil! Stray not to their Banner!

Be at One with the Armies of Freedom! Deny Squirrels!

Our Most Reverred Leader, cpr12r, will lead us to Freedom! His Struggle has drawn us to His aid, and we shall not falter!

Join Up Now!

Below is the Structure of the A-SP, Citizens. We do not shy away from showing our Might to the World. It is better that You know how we will Save You, and how You can help Combat The Enemy!


Anti-Squirrel Patrol Order Of Battle


cpr12r: Supreme Overlord Commander of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade

Subordinates and Command Structure:

Special Forces

Relentless: Major General/Goddess 1st class of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade

darkwolf3636: Chief of the Department of A-SBN (Anti-Squirrel Brigade Ninjas)
Command: Anti-Squirrel Ninjas

Army / Air Force

m0rbid: Minister of Offense, Commander in Chief of the Northern Army
Command: Grizzly Northern Army

Skyfox2: Major General 1st Class of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade, Chief of the Secret Squirrel Patrol
Command: BlueJay Air Force, Feline Ground Forces, Elephant Nut Re-Acquisition Group


Daystar: General of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade, Commander of the Anti-Squirrel Naval Armada
Command: A-SNA 1st Fleet, Nuclear Command, AquaMarine Commando Regiment

diehard_democrat: General of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade, Head of the Department of Defense And Homeland Security, Commander of the Anti-Flying Squirrel Guns (A-FSG), Head of Naval Intelligence
Command: Naval Intelligence, A-FSG

Intelligence / Security

Sarcasimo: Major Minor General of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade and Leader of the A-SCIA (Anti-Squirrel Central Intelligence Agency)
Command: Intelligence

Vegemite: Assassin and Head of cpr12rs personal A-SSP (Anti-Squirrel Secret Police). Lt. General of the A-S Brigade
Command: Secret Police

Scat: General of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade, Commander of the A-SFBI (Anti-Squirrel Federal Bureau of Investigation)
Command: Civil Security

Science / Technology

Dacruz: General of the Anti-Squirrel Brigade, Head of R&D for A-SWT (Anti-Squirrel Weaponry Technology)


Is that not a Force to contend with, Citizens?

We are Powerful, but, unfortunately, so is the Enemy!

Your Planet Needs You!

Join Today by contacting our Commander in Chief, cpr12r! He will give You your place in the Resistance, so that You may take up Arms against the Hated Squirrels!

Farewell for now Citizens, but stay tuned! You will soon be briefed on the Evil Forces that seek domination of You and the Freedom Loving People of the World! And Remember, Citizens...

Deny Squirrels!

*Off Air*


I'm getting good at this propaganda thing...

posted on Jan, 2 2005 @ 12:00 PM
You guys are nuts...

posted on Jan, 2 2005 @ 12:01 PM

Originally posted by MacKiller
You guys are nuts...

And your point is?

posted on Jan, 2 2005 @ 12:01 PM
*On Air*
In just a moment we will return to "Stupid Reality TV Moments 89"
But first a message from the A-SCIA head, Sarcasimo.

Hello citizens.
I am Special Agent Sarcasimo of the Anti-Squirrel Central Intelligence Agency.

I'm here to remind everyone that cohersion with the squirrels will not be tolerated. If you hear or see anyone working with the enemy please tell your local authorities. Our G-men are everywhere, You cannot hide from us if you are not with us.

Remenber everyone, Deny Squirrels.

*off air*

[edit on 1-2-2005 by Sarcasimo]

posted on Jan, 2 2005 @ 12:36 PM
cpr12r here Leader of the A-SP and Reaper of Squirrels 1st class

*flashes card*

If you join the squirrel side we will either send you to the salt mines or the "facility" so please if you are considering joining them reconsider.....

posted on Jan, 2 2005 @ 02:47 PM
Squirrels? Poodles?

We already have the Donkey Dousers and Elephant Eliminators. You'd think that'd be enough. :bnghd:

posted on Jan, 2 2005 @ 02:55 PM
*On Air*

Greetings Citizens, and welcome to another edition of WarWatch!

Last time, we told You how we, the A-SP, are structured to deal with the Menace of the Squirrels. Today, we will Name and Shame ATS Members who have Forsaken the Free World to serve the Hated Squirrels of Doom!

Extensive surveillance carried out by the A-SPs Dedicated Intelligence and Security Agencies has provided the A-SP with detailed information on those who would gladly see the Squirrels Steal Our Nuts!

The following Criminals either serve in, or alongside, the Imperial Squirrel Armed Forces! Therefore, Good Citizens, they are a Threat to a squirrel-free Utopia!

Should You have information on the following Criminals, or sight any of them, You should Report Immediately to the A-SCIA, the A-SFBI, or the A-SSP!


ShadowMan: Commander of the Flying Squirrel Bombing Wing, General of the 101st Airborne Squirrel Division, Head of Red Beret Special Operations Squirrel Forces

kinglizard: Commander of the Flying Squirrel Bombing Wing, Leader of the Flying Ninja Squirrels

UK Wizard: Known Associate of Super Squirrel

infinite: Known Pro Squirrel Activist


kinglizard is particularly dangerous, Citizens, for it is he who attempted to Assassinate Our Most Benevolent Leader, cpr12r!

Fear not though, Citizens of Freedom, They will all be brought to Justice for their crimes!

Remember Citizens, should You have information on the following Criminals, or sight any of them, You should Report Immediately to the A-SCIA, the A-SFBI, or the A-SSP!

And thats about all we have time for right now. Farewell for now Citizens! Be Vigilant! Show No Mercy! But most importantly of all

Deny Squirrels!

*Off Air*

Ah yes, Control The Media, Control The Mind!


*Ring, ring!*

Yes? Pizza Hut? No, sorry youve got the wrong number. Ok, thanks, bye

*Puts phone down*

Where was I? Oh, right



posted on Jan, 3 2005 @ 07:42 AM

Wheres my mention.

What about The Anti Poodle Total Anilation Comity Of Control TAPTACOC.

Fighting the evil poodle threat.

Wheres my darn spokesman anyway.

posted on Jan, 3 2005 @ 05:37 PM
*On Air*

Greetings Citizens, on this Most Glorious of Days!

With the recent revelation that the Poodle Armed Forces, led by the Despised Anthony B'liar, has Allied itself with the Hated Squirrel Menace, we are Pleased to announce to You, that the A-SP's All Powerful Leader, cpr12r, has signed a Trreaty Of Alliance with The Anti Poodle Total Annihilation Committee Of Control, or TAPTACOC, led by the Great shorty!

This Great Coalition will now Defend You and the Freedom Loving Citizens of the World form the threat of the Hated Squirrels and the Unmentionable Canines!

We of the A-SP and of TAPTACOC, shall Save Your Nuts from the Menace of the Cute and Furry, and will Defend Your Leg from being Molested by the Most Detested Posh Dogs!

As we speak Citizens, the Vast Military Might of the Anti-Squirrel Patrol is Mobalising to Assist TAPTACOC in the Struggle for A Poodle-free Utopia!

Citizens! All Assistance must be given to TAPTACOC in their Noble Quest!

Any Information on the Activites of Poodles and their Associates should be reported Immediately to a member of TAPTACOC or the A-SP! Your Leg may depend on it!

Farewell for now, Citizens! Be wary of Squirrels and Poodles!

Deny Them!

And if You can't Deny Them...

Destroy Them!

*Off Air*


Some sick Furry Freak stole the peanuts from my Snickers bar!!!

Find The Squirrel! Chase Him Down!

It'll take ages to clean this up... he got chocolate all over the Propaga... er, Information Studio!

[edit on 3-1-2005 by Daystar]

posted on Jan, 3 2005 @ 06:06 PM
I need you to change it from darkwolf3636 to Reikuro, I had to change my name due to problems with my password and with my email

posted on Jan, 3 2005 @ 07:44 PM

Originally posted by Reikuro
I need you to change it from darkwolf3636 to Reikuro, I had to change my name due to problems with my password and with my email

Only after a pending background check. For all we know you are some kind of squirrel mole...

posted on Jan, 3 2005 @ 07:50 PM
She's ok Sarc let her in. I have already backround check and cross reference and all that fancy stuff.

posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 10:36 AM
Would it be possible for hortyknuckles to do the poodle news?

He is joint head of TAPTACOC intelligence.


Overboard Shorty

Abovelord Shorty


posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 01:44 PM
*On air*

This is my war diary, keeping you the humble citzens of the world informed about the war against the poodle scum.

Today as everyday another old lady went out to buy a poodle! Little does the little ol' lady know that this poodle is controlling her. Tomorrow that lil ol' lady will go to her friends house with her cute lil poodle then what will happen? This is how poodles spread. Be aware.

Poodle propaganda is everywhere! Watch out for it. Where sun glasses when watching T.V. Why? Because the poodle menace use a rotating light spectrums to control you! Your mobile phone sat in your pocket is emiting mind controling rays. So where a tin foil helmet.

The poodle threat is among us. It is everywhere. You do not see it because it is hidden by grouchs and lil ol' ladys across the world.

The boy band (note: not rock band or punk band or musicians but BOY BAND) Busted are among those who spead poodle messages in their songs.


Also, it is worth noting while a government offical and co-head of the intellgence service is talking that their is no such thing as aliens, majestic 12 or swamp gaaaa.... UFOs.

*Off air*

Dam idiots, buying all this disinfo.

posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 02:38 PM

Darn.... cpr12r isn't here.... we'll keep looking... we'll get you...

posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 02:39 PM

posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 02:54 PM
Elevatedone it is time for you to go to the "facility".

*elevatedone passes out and he wakes up in a pure white room*
*the room gets fogg*

You can still join us....

posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 03:09 PM
*On Air*

We interrupt your program Citizens, to bring You a Special Edition of WarWatch!

An Arrest Warrant was issued today for the Pro Squirrel Activist, elevatedone! The number of people that could be harmed if elevatedone's Furry Masters come to Power is unimaginable!

And yet, elevatedone supports these Unmentionable Fiends!

As with all Servants of the Detested Nut Thieves, elevatedone must be Brought To Justice! Immediately! His Crimes cannot be allowed to continue!

Report All information on the Fugitive elevatedone to the A-SCIA, A-SFBI, or the A-SSP! And remember Citizens...

Deny Squirrels!

*Off Air*


Surrender is your ONLY option elevatedone!

posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 03:31 PM

Originally posted by Daystar
An Arrest Warrant was issued today for the Pro Squirrel Activist, elevatedone!

All hail elevatedone a true martyer of the squirrel cause

posted on Jan, 4 2005 @ 07:15 PM
-debates going with the squirrels just for the sake of being a reble-
-imagines what Rel would do to her-
-decides to stay with the anti-squirrel-


BREAKING NEWS: I have persuaded (sp?) Foamy the squirrel to join forces with us so he will kill the other squirrels and be the only squirrel alive


-have foamy all tied up-

Foamy, your cool and all, but remember what will happen if you use your giant nuts against us (ACORNS PEOPLE! you guys have dirteh minds >_

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