I Went to The Memorial Service For a Close Friend This Morning

I have spoke about her death previously on this site. It was in the end August. The family had financial problems with the cremation.



She had just turned 30. Dead of a heroin overdose. The service was at a Baptist church and the sermon was moving and detailed, though the Pastor did not know her well. Friends and family stood up in the church after the sermon to say a few words and 2 of us recited poems we had written, one being me. I was honored to be taken with the family and sat in the front row with her mother and aunt. Also, her beloved Chihuaahua, Lola, in a carrier.There was a luncheon in the same building afterwards.

It was heart breaking, the effort put into this. Some of her friends were older and some younger than her. Many, many tagboard posters with her large collection of selfies from facebook were at the service and luncheon, they were decorated with glitter and tiger striped ribbon and poems in a way teenagers or those in their 20s would make such signs and it was beautiful. I was presented with one poster, that had many pictures of her and a saying about owning something glittery making life worth while. I was given first pick out of a box of her designer purses. I chose one of the least expensive, but one that I had seen her carry. I was made to feel so welcome.

I was given the task of carrying her urn/vault down 3 flights of stairs from the church area to the luncheon area. I said "do you want me to take the dog instead?" I was terrified of tripping. I made it though.

I will just, without going too much into detail on this thread...that the heroin problem is touching more lives than I could ever imagine. I now have 2 friends who have a child in their 20s/30s who are addicted. Buffalo is not a massive city, very close knit and one isn't surprised to find they may be 3rd cousins with several neighbors. I know it has hit other areas of the country harder in recent years, but it is just getting started here. Another failed government plan to control 1 problematic drug leads to a deadly epidemic of another.

Such a waste of life. I am glad to have had the opportunity to say goodbye.

a reply to: reldra

Pain pills are being monitored very closely.

Heroin is the cheap easy to get unregulated substitute.

What a beautiful young life lost way to soon.

I hope you somehow helped her poor family.

Tragic...

a reply to: reldra

You have my most sincere condolences.

Losing someone you love is never easy, but they never leave you in spirit.

I'm sure she appreciates your efforts in the beyond, and even more so the support you gave to the living in a time like that.

a reply to: whyamIhere

Yes, that is the problem and unscrupulous people add other ingredients.Not that heroin by itself can't kill, but the process is being helped along. I have tried to be what comfort I can. Thank you.

a reply to: Treespeaker
Thank you. I think I can feel her kind words and happy, bubbly, energetic spirit.

a reply to: reldra

I truly truly feel for you...
I am so glad that you were able to be there for her...family.

My SIL well, I will U2U you, be well!

My heart goes out to all involved... and others touched by it as well. One comfort I can offer is opiate overdose is not a bad way to go. (sounds terrible, but I hope folks understand I meant against alternatives)

I, too, lost many friends to opiates... almost lost myself as well... I'm not sure what the answer is, but I know not talking about it and making everything around it "illegal" won't fix a thing... decriminalize it, make it a health, social problem and raise awareness of it's deeply addictive properties and the dangers of black market manufacturing... something, because it's been with us humans for as long as we can see backwards and it will be here as long as plants can grow.

Removing some of the mystique and romance of an illegal, illicit activity is step one. It is a growing phenomena as our society sickens and poverty, alienation and dissatisfaction grows... but it is starting to effect everyone, now, unfortunately... but perhaps that will motivate more to address the problem.

I normally don't even click threads like this. Mainly because my over sensitive empathy leave me crying in the end. However I felt compelled to check this out. Now I know why.

Good friend of mine died the same way. A girl everyone loved. She was freakin hilarious and kind to all; we do however all have our demons...

To go further into specifics, my town has been devastated as well in the last 2 or so years. Being a recovering addict myself, I can say, without a shadow of doubt, this will continue to get worse. It'll slowly spread like a deadly mold until every opiate addict in every city/town/village turns to the needle The ease of access to heroin, even in my fairly small town in central Pennsylvania is absurd. Plus it's way cheaper than other opiate because of the insane restrictions on opiate meds.

Before I keep rambling into a thread hijack I'll stop there. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Hopefully it can help be a wake up for her "drug circle" of friends.

Much love and good vibes in these trying times...

originally posted by: seaswine
I normally don't even click threads like this. Mainly because my over sensitive empathy leave me crying in the end. However I felt compelled to check this out. Now I know why.

Good friend of mine died the same way. A girl everyone loved. She was freakin hilarious and kind to all; we do however all have our demons...

To go further into specifics, my town has been devastated as well in the last 2 or so years. Being a recovering addict myself, I can say, without a shadow of doubt, this will continue to get worse. It'll slowly spread like a deadly mold until every opiate addict in every city/town/village turns to the needle The ease of access to heroin, even in my fairly small town in central Pennsylvania is absurd. Plus it's way cheaper than other opiate because of the insane restrictions on opiate meds.

Before I keep rambling into a thread hijack I'll stop there. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Hopefully it can help be a wake up for her "drug circle" of friends.

Much love and good vibes in these trying times...

Thank you for your kind words. My friend was like that. Best friend to all. Funny, energetic, motivated. It was the ultimate shock.

I hope it is. She has friends that even came to the memorial that I could tell were deep into it. Just a few. It is getting so much worse.

a reply to: Baddogma

You are so right. Thankyou for your words.

i just dont get it
what can be so horrible at such a young age?
where has the hope gone?
where has the inner force to strive on..gone?
this is truly sad.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. So many beautiful young lives lost too soon. My sympathies to you and her family.

a reply to: reldra

The crushing grip that drug has on it's victims is indescribable. She is free now, no longer suffering. Sadly many of us never survive the abuse it doles out. You are right how ever, Heroin use is a huge epidemic. People have always used drugs, but it sure seems Heroin has surged in popularity lately.

I lost the life of two friends as well. I'm sorry for your loss.