I'm Not Anyone's Marlboro Man

Below is something that I wrote meant for a former friend out of frustration for who she chooses to be in her life.

The Marlboro Man was a rugged cowboy type protrayed by five actors, some real cowboys at that. This man was shown to be the tough guy who learned through life experiences on how to get by. These are the same types that are encouraged to cope with their life's by smoking and drinking it away. They may go out of their way to be gentleman to every woman they come across by being polite and opening doors and such. There is nothing wrong with doing so but we are not just women or men we are equals, we are humans. I can't even get to the door fast enough to help out anyway.



These Marlboro Men are the same one's the belittle women behind there backs for being good for two things, cooking and sex. They don't care what is in your head or your heart. They just want a good meal and a good # every once in a while. I'm not one of these men that spend their time bitching about work and women then they spend the rest of the time glued to the TV to watch useless sports programs. There's more to life than that. Spend time with your girl doing things that she wants to do. Read on world events and learn something new every month. Sports are only there to distract you from the real world anyway.



To the women reading this. At least 1 in 4 of your have been the victim of domestic abuse. Leave the man that is doing that to you. There is no excuse. When you are ready for a new relationship look for the warning signs of the abusive men you have been with and stay away from that type.



Each and everyone of you have beautiful souls. Just because you have been abused before is no excuse for it to continue.



I'm sharing this because I love each and every one of you. The abuse has to end, NOW!

Thank you! This made my heart smile!

a reply to: chelsdh

Thank you Chelsdh for your reply.
We all need to find a reason to smile and laugh at the world every day.

I think you give us Cowboys a bad name. It's ok to be a gentleman, open a door for a lady. Tip you hat to another lady, have a smoke or a drink once in a while. And yet I have been married to the same sweet gal for 38 years. We may be a little rugged on the outside, but we're not all assholes.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

How about you just leave her alone and let her make her own choices? She is an adult, she should not be shamed by you for who she spends her life with.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

This world needs more men like you.

Don't judge all men on a TV character, designed to sell smokes..
Not all are the way you let on.
All the men I have known in my life time have been outstanding to women.
Was I just lucky..nah.
It is how you were raised.
Parents need to start being parents and stop letting the gov. or some one else raise your kids.
Different generation I guess..but it does not have to be that way.
Manner are manners and respect is respect...period.

You seem like a nice man! That's good for you and your love interest.
Sports don't distract me from "the real world", they are part of MY real world.
The S.O. is hanging with his brother. They are in the garage and taking breaks to go pick up the fishing rods they leave out back.
We made some food, together earlier to snack on through the day. The kids are running around as usual.
I am in the house watching SEC. That's what we do on Saturdays around here. That and check ATS once in awhile to see what's new I dislike commercials.
The S.O. will be in in a few hours to watch UT/Oklahoma...

He doesn't need to be up my rear all the time for me to know he cares about me and vice versa.
We definitely don't have to like/do the same things ALL the time.
He couldn't watch this Alabama game! We WOULD be fighting...LOL even though they are my "arch enemies" LOL!


P.S. I agree with you about the abusive relationships. I have been in a few. I hope that some day all those women victims will realize their strength as I did and make a move for their futures!

Peace!

Thanks for all the current replies. I'm sorry if my post implies that all cowboys and so forth could be better people. That is not what I intended by this rant. I'm only referring to a few men that have hurt one woman who is no longer a part of my life.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

I'm only referring to a few men that have hurt one woman who is no longer a part of my life.

So, if I understand, basically, you are a victim of abuse, too. Previous abuse ruins many relationships.

Actually, on a meta level, due to the actions of a rather small portion of the human race, we are all shell-shocked victims in different magnitudes and ways... but guys (or gals) who rule their homes with viciousness and mental/physical abuse, or treat others based on appearance or worship, etc., seriously ruin everything for the majority of people who are decent.

That kind of bullying comes from a deep fear and self loathing and does not represent a self sufficient "cowboy" but rather a scared child... and I'd pity them ... if I felt like it.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

And to all you young men out there, if you ever hold open a door for a lady, pull out her chair for her, or offer to assist her in something and she responds with anger or spite, turn 180 degrees and run like hell Do not look back, do not try to figure it out, and for the love of God do not question your assistance because you're not the one who did anything wrong. You don't ever wanna pair up with crazy, anyway.

I had never seen this behavior or reaction until I was in college, held open a door for a young female professor, was yelled at by her for "marginalizing her equality" then got yelled at a second time when I shut the door in her face and said "OK, have it your way."

originally posted by: burdman30ott6
a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

And to all you young men out there, if you ever hold open a door for a lady, pull out her chair for her, or offer to assist her in something and she responds with anger or spite, turn 180 degrees and run like hell Do not look back, do not try to figure it out, and for the love of God do not question your assistance because you're not the one who did anything wrong. You don't ever wanna pair up with crazy, anyway.

I had never seen this behavior or reaction until I was in college, held open a door for a young female professor, was yelled at by her for "marginalizing her equality" then got yelled at a second time when I shut the door in her face and said "OK, have it your way."

That is bang on the money and I was going to post the same thing but you beat me to it. Even way back in the mid 70's when I worked at a well know hotel (Rhymes with Holidays). Anyways I was a Porter and thus a bell hop and bus boy and meeting room setup guy. I learned real quick to read the ladies and how they react to opening doors and hauling luggage.

Most were grateful for my efforts, just a few were downright ugly with me and after working there almost 6 years I never figured out who was going the thank me and who was going to verbally attack me for doing my job.

Regards, Iwinder

This is so sweet coming from a man, you have all my admiration

I always liked the marlboro man type for how they look, but never got involved with one because they never appealed to me as persons. From what I've heard from friends they are mostly selfish, boring and a lousy sex

I've always picked a man for his heart, not for his looks. But women are so often fooled by the "tough" look....

edit: no offense intended for the good men out there only for the character described in the OP.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

You are what I consider to be "good people". It's a broad stroke but, it means something bigger than that phrase.

You are beyond the labels and bull#. Plain and simple.

The world needs more of people like you.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Your rant is a little confusing.
You seem to project your your personal beliefs on a man portrayed on an ad campaign.
I don't believe we ever saw Marlboro Man belittling women, smoking because he can't cope with reality, and such.

But I think I understand what you are saying... the Marlboro Man is a metaphor you use to explain rugged men who don't believe in equality.

I in no way mean that people should be rude and as "bad @$$" as possible.

But a real man; read a REAL MAN, is confident in his own skin. He doesn't need to be rude, doesn't need to seek drugs and alcohol to cope with mental issues, is as rugged as it takes for him to support himself and whatever pretty little thing joins him in front of the preacher. He doesn't need approval from society and does not have to be ashamed of anything. He can watch sports if he wants, he can crack jokes in a manly fashion about women but doesn't mean to be outright rude. Confidence is what the real men have, not the fake confidence some imagine - the real man won't do stupid things to get into sticky situations and is not threatening to anyone unless he is being threatened first.

There is a huge difference between being a real man and being a jerk. But Mr Marlboro man is none of these things, as he is simply an ad campaign who's image is a strong man - he's not slapping women.

Dude, don't worry about opening doors for strange women... do it for your honey and your friends because they are the ones who are important to you. Strangers can open their own doors; Unless you are at the opera. I find pleasure in purposefully closing a door when a woman is coming along - I tell her it is anti-hold door open for women day - it generally leads to laughing and a conversation.

a reply to: SachaX

"But I think I understand what you are saying... the Marlboro Man is a metaphor you use to explain rugged men who don't believe in equality."

You understood me correctly.

This is all about a friend of mine who has been mistreated by men since she was 5 years old. The ones she calls boyfriends or lovers are all the some type as she has ever known. Her mother's boyfriends and other family started all of this. Her mother dealt with this by staying drunk most of the time.
I've tried to be there for her to take her away from all of this but she didn't understand my intentions and has since moved away.

originally posted by: LookingForABetterLife

This is all about a friend of mine who has been mistreated by men since she was 5 years old. The ones she calls boyfriends or lovers are all the some type as she has ever known. Her mother's boyfriends and other family started all of this. Her mother dealt with this by staying drunk most of the time.
I've tried to be there for her to take her away from all of this but she didn't understand my intentions and has since moved away.

Sorry to hear that. But what makes you responsible for her?
Maybe she doesn't want to be with a non-rough guy because she's sexually attracted to the stronger guys.
There's nothing you can do about it, you can't force your beliefs on her, she is an individual human and her desires are elsewhere. In know the situation su$# and all, but 'ya gotta move on. It's not the Marlboro Man's fault - it's her.

In my humble opinion,women like a maan who is polite and strong. They prefer that over someone who pretends to be something that they arent. They would rather be with a real man with a real job instead of some dork that lives in his moms basement and plays music vídeos while they watch cartoons and play with action dolls.Real men are real. Wake up and move on.