originally posted by: earthling42
a reply to: Bluesma
Why do human beings not see their relationship, human being and mankind, there is no separation, so why the need to bind through a religion, the color
of their skin and so on.
Obviously, those who do, set themselves apart from their fellow human beings.
That divided state sooner or later will lead to conflict, it is the root.
Well, I am torn about continuing in this discussion, because I had misunderstood the OP, so my comments were a bit off topic. I was thinking of such
groups as religions in particular (living in France, the subject, with the current wave of refugees, is a hot one).
But there are differences in us which happen because of where we lived, and in what environment we grew up in, that will automatically make groups
different from one another, whether they choose to acknowledge it or not.
I can deny my american identity all I want, and yet I have some ways of thinking developed early in life that remain with me no matter how hard I try
to change them. Those are ones that contrast with the majority of my current environment.
I could insist they are not result of my being american in origin- the others around me could too, and just say it is my individual personality
quirks. Yet fact remains that when I am with americans, these traits are not a problem- they are understood and shared.
Like my work ethic- I take my work seriously, and I cannot help placing value on individual merit.
These are a problem in this environment and system, they are offensive to those around me. Yet when with Americans, that is not a "problem", most feel
the same, and our system is based upon these ideas.
I have been the target of hatred and hostility because of these traits (seen as virtues in america, vices here). I insist upon facing them alone, but
it is not at all difficult to understand that some might turn to adherence and support of your "people" in face of such threat. The clash of culture
already exists, no matter what I decide to identify with; whether I wish to acknowledge the environmental influence or not.
It's funny, I am currently facing a case in which prejudice and verbal abuse happened to me, and my nationality was used as provocation (hating
americans was proclaimed as the reason). I didn't pay that much attention the hating americans part, I felt more assaulted by other acts and words
aimed at me as an individual.
But my husband reacted strongly to the "racism" card, and has been trying to convince me I should call up and ask for aid by the american consulate!
(for I was actually fired illegally, with no fault on my part at all; I lost my job).
All the legal points support me 100%, and I have a lot of support from others around me, so I don't agree with getting help from the americans.
But then... I believe in individual merit- if my behavior has been with integrity and respect over time, I will not need the back up of a "tribe of
And he is French, in which relying on individual merit is egotistical, selfish, and narcissistic.
At this point, I understand where he is coming from, I can see through his eyes, and into his heart, but the fact remains that I still feel best with
this "quirk", which is mine as an individual, but I would be only lying to myself to say that I developed it solely on my own, without the influence
of a specific culture I was nurtured in. The difference is already there, and will be a cause of clash anyway. It will be there whether I decide to
openly identify as an american or not.
The same problem could exist for others- their nurturing environment produces a clash of difference. The question becomes- do you call upon the people
of the same nurturing environment to support you when in danger or threat? Or do you play David to a Goliath?
Actually, this event does relate the subject at hand, because more than nationalistic ties are in play!
The pressure on me from the french people at this establishment (a large one, a group of hospitals and nursing homes) is that by NOT pressing charges,
I am being a traitor the female community! Because this individual makes a habit of abusing women on a daily basis this way, and does not do it to
men. Most of the women are in financial hardship and cannot afford to defend themselves, remaining victims and enabling him to continue doing it.
The argument placed before me is that one- as a female, I am being self centered to not take action with their well being in mind. I am not
identifying enough with them to have compassion and empathy for the women who will continue to be victims.
My internal debate is about whether or not I "do it for us women" or do it for "us americans" (same issue- if I let it ride, I am letting other expats
to face the same alone). HE already perceive a difference between men and women, and acts upon that difference he perceives.
Do I jump into the fray, or do I let it continue?
Personally? I want to scoff at his idiocy and walk away- life is too short to spend on stupid conflicts, and I have confidence in my ability to find
another, more satisfying work environment. But is it selfish to ignore the women and americans I leave behind?
edit on 14-9-2015 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)