An Inner Conflict

Does anybody else experience an inner conflict within themselves that they have trouble describing?

I'm not talking about the indecision experienced when deciding over what shirt to wear or what TV to buy. Neither am I referencing the uneasiness one feels about whether their belief system is the right one and whether they are on the correct path in life.

I am more talking about an anxious feeling towards oneself - what do I stand for? Am I a good person or am I a bad person? Do the good deeds I perform outweigh the lies I tell? Am I a hypocrite, even though I preach in order to help others. If Karma is real, would the scale holding the good and bad on opposite ends buckle one way or the other? Can I really change the world around me by willing so whilst everything seems out of my control? I have selfish, egocentric goals but I often think more about other people's happiness and success before my own, for what reason?

The questions are endless and the answers few. On controversial topics I seem to be conflicted in my views and am afraid to stick to my guns - if only I knew what they were. I don't care about offending others but I want to be liked. I want to debate but I also want to argue. I want others to be accepting of my views but I also want them to think. Sometimes I feel like I am reading off a teleprompter but strangely my words have uniqueness to them.

Does anything really matter? If not, then why do I feel it is my duty to take part in certain activities and why do I continually take part in the daily grind? Do I love or hate my life? How can I love others when there is strong dissatisfaction within me? Contradictions, paradoxes, confusion and indifference abound.

I'm right there standing next to you.

My only solution to the tortuous inner conflict is love. It's all I got.

Recently I have been reflecting on the Shift by Wayne Dyer. Moving from a place of ego to a place of meaning and purpose. The sticking point...what the hell is my purpose?

Be the best that you can be. Do the best you can do. No one is perfect and people make mistakes. Live your life with love and compassion. You'll be just fine.

a reply to: kosmicjack

Phew, glad I'm not alone and there are others out there that can relate.

It took courage for you to come and stand with me out in the open, but I'm glad you did.


a reply to: Night Star

Thanks for the encouraging words. You are a one wise individual. Unfortunately that is another area of conflict, though. Is there potential to improve or have I already passed my peak?

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Your not alone buddy. You describe it perfectly in your opening OP. I very much feel that way.

I think kosmicjack gave the best answer, and the answer people in my life have been telling me is, LOVE!

Night Star is also spot on, do the best you can do, be good, and keep moving forward!

There is always room for improvement, but don't think it is because it needs fixing.

P.L.U.R.

a reply to: Night Star

Be the best that you can be. Do the best you can do. No one is perfect and people make mistakes. Live your life with love and compassion. You'll be just fine.

You are very wise....

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I have been lurking and waiting for someone to answer this clearly... OK here it is:

It is guilt.

Your doubt about yourself comes from guilt. So to the unbelievers ..... it is time to change the page...... to those who want to be set free.......

You seek inner peace and it is nowhere to be found. One of the devil's (Satan) oldest tricks. Playing with your mind and assuring you that you are NOT good enough BUT let me tell your brother.... it is all a lie. It is simply that simple!

But where is the antidote? Right?

Well when you give your life to Christ and surrender everything...... your life....(do I need to explain?) putting everything into his hands.....stop worrying .......ask him and you shall receive...have been saved, then time to move onto dedication......water baptism (a symbol for what you stand for and who you accept as your king and God) .... you my friend are on your way to a blessing that is indescribable.

Once you receive Christ as your Lord and Saviour the enemy will be upset and will try to turn up the torment but if you stay steadfast IT will leave.

Acts 3:19 - Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.

Now practice on changing the way you think.... you are now free.....ignore the negative comments and they will stop. Guaranteed or your soul back!

Simply do the following: (Get on one knee - sign of submission) and say, Dear Father in Heaven, forgive me for my sins. I ask that you send your Son and your spirit to me and save me from destruction. Amen.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

Please don't bring religion into this.

It is clearly soo much more than that.

P.L.U.R.

originally posted by: SirKonstantin
a reply to: DeathSlayer

Please don't bring religion into this.

It is clearly soo much more than that.

P.L.U.R.

You are wrong.

You don't know because you have this issue and I don't along with a few hundred million others.

I have been set free and you are carrying around a lot of baggage.

Good luck with that.

originally posted by: DeathSlayer

originally posted by: SirKonstantin
a reply to: DeathSlayer

Please don't bring religion into this.

It is clearly soo much more than that.

P.L.U.R.

You are wrong.

You don't know because you have this issue and I don't.

I have been set free and you are carrying around a lot of baggage.

Good luck with that.

Okay Kim Davis.

originally posted by: SirKonstantin

originally posted by: DeathSlayer

originally posted by: SirKonstantin
a reply to: DeathSlayer

Please don't bring religion into this.

It is clearly soo much more than that.

P.L.U.R.

You are wrong.

You don't know because you have this issue and I don't.

I have been set free and you are carrying around a lot of baggage.

Good luck with that.

Okay Kim Davis.

Make all the jokes you want.

I am at peace meanwhile you are being tormented.

Enjoy.......

a reply to: Dark Ghost

It appears these are conflicts a CREATOR Creation may experience during its Life /Death Ascension phases within Existence...

AS THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION IS APPLIED UPON OUR ETERNAL SELVES

Experiences associated with different influences a CREATOR Creation may experience when moving/Ascending through various realms.

AS ITS LEARNING

Current Realm location of communication broadcast Planet EA*RTH...
A beautiful region full of life and good spirited CREATOR Creation ENERGIES.

A planet that is also manipulated sadly by some... ... ...
Some who do not care but can influence those that do.

So now you have good spirited beings potentially under social pyramid scheme control mechanisms that mis-steer / influence / control them. Leaving said beings stuck within Paradox lives as they seek to be good spirited in regions of Existence that are potentially manged by non good spirited.

So how shall they act? LIKE WATER, TAKING FORM & BEHAVIOR OF THE REGION CONTAINER HOLDING THE WATER INFLUENCING THEM.
So 1 can understand how many get LOST and misguided and even caught up in conflict as they seek to do their best in influenced conditions OUT OF THEIR CONTROL...

GENERATING THE CONFLICTS

As mentioned by various AboveTopSecret.com posters within this thread:
try to do your best maneuvering at through it (the region)-
keep LOVE part of your Core self (so that it becomes a constant in your ETernal Self)-
TRUST YOUR OWN intuitions (so that when exterior social inputs potentially from control mechs. are at play upon your conscious mind you WILL follow what you feel is right NOT THEM)-
Dont feel bad that you cannot control / comprehend fully it all, as far as who are the social players that generate the reality upon many and which power influence strings they pull that affect you directly (for that can overwhelm you and still in some ways weaken you)

YOU MUST HAVE FAITH & STAY STRONG for this is one stop of many for the Eternal...

Good Luck

NAMASTE
LOVE LIGHT ETERNIA*******

Yes, I'm often faced with situations where i can't stop wondering (And can't find the answer) which (in)action would really be "good" and which will be "evil" (And does it really matter. And if it does, are we supposed to be good, or balancing between good and evil. Or what about situations where you are forced to chose between two evils?). When you think deeper, you can find a way to may many evils look good or vice versa. And there is really no way to know which is considered which in grand scale. It's easy to deside based on society's perception or your own, but these peceptions are too limited and lack deeper understanding. It's like knowing what comes after death. This is something you just can't know for sure.

Every damn day.

Star & Flag for you.

K~

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I have selfish, egocentric goals but I often think more about other people's happiness and success before my own, for what reason?

Because you posses Empathy, cherish it for it's a gift far too many humans have not received.

Does anything really matter?

Yes behaving in a fashion that allows you to look at your self.

K~

I think most people have gone through such existential crises.

My persepective, that humans are ambiguous creatures, helps. I am both good and bad, simultaneously.
Taken further, the concepts of good and bad become somewhat fuzzy - for these are relative to intent. What is good in one context is bad in another.

(like taking a life is bad...but if you catch a person in the middle of killing a child, and your only chance at stopping that knife from descending is to shoot them immediately... is it still under the "bad" catagory??)

So the dark and the light take the place in my mind, of good and bad... yin and yang. Everything is ultimately both in potential.

Integrity becomes my goal - which is something like the assertion about guilt, yet I don't attach a divine judge/entity to that. I strive to make my actions and words walk together. Sometimes that means I choose the so-called "positive" desires and drives, and speak them, and make my actions fulfil them.
Sometimes the "negative" drives or desires are so strong, I choose instead to speak those and have my actions reflect them.

For someone caught up in good and evil, that second choice sounds horrible - but look at it this way - even if you have a desire or drive that is not good, and you decide you shall go with that side in act, if you speak it and acknowledge it openly to those around, you are accepting the consequences that shall go with it.

Whether they be purely natural consequence, or the result of other humans judgements and individual contrary intents. It is taking responsibility and standing for yourself, whatever you may be in that moment.

The higher questions of morality and divinity are hopeless to question - you cannot know and will not know today.
Let the unknown remain unknown (you haven't any other choice). What matters is what is before you, here and now, and how you shall respond and assert yourself in relation to it.


And the concept of Karma does not actually refer to reward or punishment for good and evil acts, in it's origin. THat is more a vulgarisation of it being fit into other religious bases. Erasing the good and evil concept, it places all things, all actions, as having two sides - being a giver and a reciever, for example, so that if you choose to experience one side you will eventually experience the other. Just as you cannot have in your hand a one-sided coin.

Like giving or recieving a gift - neither side is "bad" in most ethical systems.

Even killing someone, or being killed, can be positive as much as negative. Imagine you have killed someone in a past life, so you shall experience being killed in this one (you already have that coin in hand).

Trying to run from your karmic debt, might make the experience "bad" - it might be a violent and painful one.
Accepting it could make it much more comfortable - like maybe you'll be in one of those nordic countries in which euthanasia is legal, and then you find out you have an incurable disease, that will pull you into an extreme amount of suffering over time, you can go to an establishment that will use drugs to help you pass into a comfortable and peaceful death instead.

These are extreme examples. But if you want to consider the concept of karma, look at it that way. It isn't about being punished, and it isn't to be feared.
Life is about experience of all kinds.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

Simply do the following: (Get on one knee - sign of submission) and say, Dear Father in Heaven, forgive me for my sins. I ask that you send your Son and your spirit to me and save me from destruction. Amen

I don't think this will work if not heartfelt.