Feeling Guilty? (Homelessness)

a reply to: grainofsand

I have spoken to homeless before and like I said handed over cash if I was feeling in a good mood. I've even wrote to the Council on their behalf telling them to sort out places for the homeless to live instead of building a bridge or an underground carriageway... build a bloody hostel!

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

i know youre not in the states but i will use an example of funds that could have fed, clothed, housed a lot of people.
there was a big thread a couple days ago.
some nfl quarterback went to federal court to appeal a suspension. he was suspended for using a ball i guess that was over or under inflated. i dont know the details. he was railroaded some say. whatever.
apparently this case cost tax payers something like 10 million thus far and it is not finished.

im a tax payer. i would much rather my money go to feed people and house them instead of hearing a case of a multi millionare who was suspended for like 4 games.

know what i mean?

thats just an example

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

There is a good local tax funded hostel in my town but when beds are full, well, beds are full.
I've walked home off my nut a few times after a night clubbing/partying and bumped into someone homeless then walked back to them dropping off a blanket or food, or a can of beer.

Maybe I'm opening myself up to flaming but I don't care. Sometimes just a beer with that stranger who has no home is all they want.
I'll have a beer with a full on alcoholic, it won't stop their addiction if I don't buy it.
Nice human interaction is all I ever want, and someone being a homeless person doesn't in itself stop that.

So homeless/poor people piss you off. They are probably pissed off too because they are poor and homeless, or otherwise in a poor mindset.

Pissed off + pissed off is usually a poor combination which doesn't yield good results, so the best thing for all it seems, is for you to just look away and keep walking.

I do not believe in soliciting charity through guilt. Nor do I believe people should be shamed or attacked for not giving it. That doesn't mean I don't give it personally. It simply means I don't feel those in need or anyone else is served by shaming or guilt. Encouraging the cultivation of sensitivity and empathy perhaps, through exposure and awareness, yes. But not judgment, guilt, or shaming.

So I ask the following not to imply that you are or should feel guilty, but simply as a point of logic and curiosity.

If you truly believe you have no reason to feel guilty, then why do you feel they are placing guilt upon you, and attendant anger in response to that? If you are secure in the knowledge that you have no reason to feel guilt, then you shouldn't feel guilty or angry about said guilt. No?

Are you angry at the lack of change in the situation? That I can understand. It angers (or at least saddens) me, too. Because I do believe as a society we can do more collectively than we are. Besides, it sounds like you have taken some steps in the past to try and change the situation. Is it then just the reality of the ineffectual impact of those steps that angers you? That I can also understand. It's a frustrating realization that sometimes no matter how much you want to or try to help others, your efforts seem in vain. Or that the institutions which could help, don't.

As for what you should do or feel about it yourself... that isn't for me to judge or dictate to you, or anyone else.

I will say that personally, I help when I can. I feel sad when I can't. I feel sad when I do and it doesn't help much. I do feel bad if I acquire something for myself that I don't need that could have helped someone else more, and resolve to do more in the future when I can. I would like to believe I can do that. And I hope for things to improve. I don't judge those who don't give, or those who do by how much or how often, because I'm not perfect either.

We're all human. We're not perfect, selfless beings, any of us. Just do whatever you need to in order to be at peace with yourself by your own standards. Would I encourage a continual cultivation of greater empathy and selflessness too over time? Personally, I find it's a good thing, yes. But I will not condemn or shame those who feel differently.

My two cents.

Peace.

a reply to: AceWombat04

Thanks for your post.

I guess I am angry at the lack of change in the situation.

I'm angry that those who can do something more than me are ignorant on these issues.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Yeah, I definately understand that.

Sportspeople earn gazillions... but the people who pay them earn even more gazillions!

originally posted by: TruthxIsxInxThexMist
a reply to: intrptr

No, it doesn't cure anything.

Except maybe those feelings that are making you 'rant'. Try this, if you give her a dollar or two today, tomorrow you can shrug at her without feeling bad because you did your part this week or paycheck, whatever.

And if you fear they will badger you for more then wait till you cross paths with someone that looks like they can use that same dollar or two (what percentage is that of your gross?) and give it to them. Either way you'll feel less anger behind it. Anger usually covers for fear. Fear maybe, because we are so close to being in that position ourselves.

Is it worth missing one meal to help someone out that little?

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

no. i don't feel guilty. the homeless people around here that are begging with signs outside of stores all have a place to live. they all have food. they are just hustlers. i donate my time and money to the actual homeless shelter. where actual homeless people are. where i live there is one homeless shelter. yes they serve breakfast and dinner. they are on the far north side of town. why would a homeless, hungry person walk over ten miles to the far southwest side of town to beg for money. think about it. it doesn't make sense. DO NOT FEEL BAD. she does not need any help or she would be at or near a shelter.

a reply to: blondegiraffe

If you did work at a sjelter you would know they fill up quickly and there are not enough places for the homeless.

a reply to: boymonkey74

i WAS homeless for 9 months. and i know there aren't always beds but people who are really homeless and hungry don't venture far from the shelter because around here, they have a much larger capacity for feeding people than providing beds. and yes i do volunteer there because while i was never able to get a bed there, i still ate there everyday.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist
Don't feel guilty, I have seen this many times and the best thing I have read about it sums it all up, why is it when you walk by one of the homeless they shake their tin can with the coins in it, that just pisses me off, its like they are bragging that they have more money in their can than I do have in my own pockets.

originally posted by: TruthxIsxInxThexMist
a reply to: grainofsand

I have spoken to homeless before and like I said handed over cash if I was feeling in a good mood. I've even wrote to the Council on their behalf telling them to sort out places for the homeless to live instead of building a bridge or an underground carriageway... build a bloody hostel!

So you used to empathize and now they just anger you?
As somebody else pointed out, you seem a little unsure of how you feel.
If the homeless annoy you and feel they're lazy and should buck up and get a job then say that.
Don't try and appear on this thread like the caring soul if that's not you.

I have nothing but empathy and sympathy for anyone who sleeps rough, many people in the US and elsewhere are just a missed pay check or unpaid mortgage payment away from this situation.
these are human beings just trying to get by and are turning to their fellow human beings for help.

Help or don't help but don't judge and certainly don't let their situation anger you - I'm sure they're really sorry that their awful situation makes you think about society and those less fortunate than yourself.
What hardship you face - having to look at a homeless woman..

Way to go some of you for trying to make it look like I'm the bad guy!

That really helps!

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist
Why? quite a few of us have told you not to feel guilty, there's not much we can do if you want to feel guilty