getting older...do you think about it? how do you deal?

a reply to: KyoZero

wife and i are like that too.
after our daughter goes to bed we usually watch a movie together or play some scattergories for a couple hours. after that we are still together, but alone.
by that i mean i will be watching a movie and her reading a book. or she watches a movie and i read a book but we are side by side in our own big ass comfy chair, holding hands, being quiet.
it really is awesome.

we have entire conversations with a simple look. she gets me. i get her. quite wonderful.
then in the morning i leave the house to go to work and while i like what i do, it still sucks. i have to interact with others. have to talk with them about this or that.
what annoys me most is having to feign interest in their #.

my boss is a super cool guy but is super annoying. same with the guy i share an office with.
they are both going through troubles in their personal life and for some reason they both like to vent to me.
i dont know why. i really dont care about their # at all.
got my own problems.
thats the worst part of my day.
having loads of work to do but my boss tying me up talking about the impending divorce and this problem and that.
my gawd it sucks. feels like my brain is melting.

sounds cold but i cant help it.
every day for me is mentally draining and it is all cause of that kind of crap.

i will walk through the foundry and one of the shippers decides to pull his tow motor over and talk to me about taco tuesday at the bar and how he just went to a concert...
uuuuuugh.
i hate it

human being are much more productive in life, not fixating on their death..

They know they are going to die, and I think we are the only species on the planet that are truly aware of it..

My generation the X, we seem to be getting into the part of life, where our vitality is can be felt as lessened..

I am getting tired of getting tired to be honest, just a couple years ago my metabolism was still in its prime..

Their is not much we can do about aging. I try not to think about it all the time...

All I can say in conclusion is I hope your saving your money for retirement.. Working for a living gets harder the older you get...

I don't like it, I'm almost 30, feel like 20

But meh, as Charlie says, bigger problems in the world aye

In my head I hit about 22 and that is me my personality and my sense of fun for the rest of my life.
I'm 41 though so It is odd looking in the mirror sometimes thinking "ooo I'm getting older".
Not that fussed but I sure do wish I was 22 again .
knowing what I know now I would rule the galaxy.

At least you have a wife kids and a home. I am 50 homeless and apparently unemployable now. No family left, no wife and no children.Very loney life i have now.

Good luck when you reach 50. I made the mistake of wasting my money when times where good. I should have saved, saved, saved. Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

Please take my advice here and start a savings nestegg. In 10/20 years you will praise me.

I'm 52 and tilt at windmills and fight dragons.

Grab life by the testicles and twist them hard.

But do it with someone else's testicles. If you do it to yourself, you end up screaming and the wife looks at you funny.

originally posted by: proob4
At least you have a wife kids and a home. I am 50 homeless and apparently unemployable now. No family left, no wife and no children.Very loney life i have now.

Good luck when you reach 50. I made the mistake of wasting my money when times where good. I should have saved, saved, saved. Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

Please take my advice here and start a savings nestegg. In 10/20 years you will praise me.

thing about that is i want to save. i know i need to save but i am about the worst at managing money. never been able to.
i just had a 401k meeting at work. kinda sounds like a racket to me.
they gave this whole speech about how much you will have x amount of years and blah blah.

then i get down to the fine print and it was something like a 20% fed tax if you take it out early plus 10% for something else.
i think 401k would be awesome if you could actually put money away till say 65. the company will match me up to 4% so i would have a lot of scratch saved but i think the chances of keeping it in that long are slim.

every person i have known that has had a 401k going on has had to borrow against it and take big hits. either divorce or home emergency..
they were talking about the price of inflation and yadda yadda.
i know me. i would put 4% in and keep it in for a couple years and once i know it has grown to a certain point i would take it out and piss it away. guaranteed.
money burns a hole in my pocket big time.
i always find a way to justify the spending.
buying electronics. going out to eat. a trip down south. i always find a way to make it seem ok to spend and then 5 seconds after i do it i regret it.

example.

today i bought an e cig rig. cost me less than 100 bones. thing is i already had one, though not as nice it worked. even driving to the smoke shop im in my own head saying youre gonna regret it. i get there and of course i buy it.
i love the rig and it works great but by the time i made it to my car i was pissed at myself for doing it.
i am going to be major screwed when i retire.
i want to save but i know i wont.

and yes, i have a wife and daughter. decent house. decent vehicles. decent things in my house. im not over extended. dont have any debt. i mean zero.
you would think i would be happy about all this and i am to a degree but there is always a part of me that is waiting for the bottom to fall out.
im not optimistic at all. i feel like if something can go wrong to set me back it will.

you would not want my brain

a reply to: Mugly
I am in the "older" group. I have been through 8 (I think , lost count) surgeries in the past 2 1/2 years , have much of the same issues you listed. The key is attitude . Think about it like I do . You have survived all that and still can post on ATS.Wonderful , isnt it ? I have had cancer and I look at every day as a fresh , new life . Before , I looked at life much the same. Only the bad stuff.

a reply to: MuglyJust do it. Save. I can see the mentality of the 1% er's.
I would save $10 then a $100 next thing I know I had a couple grand in the bank, it was satisfying for me to save. This was recent up till a collection agency stole/garnished $2,217 from my checking and left me broke. Cleaned out my whole bank account I saved from donating plasma, mowing lawns, raking up and spring cleaning lawns, I was doing everything I could do to save up and move away from the situation I am still in.

But it felt good to have all that money in a account, I still would and it would be more if it wasn't for that crooked collection agency after 15 year old debts.

I think I've got an actual phobia. Gerascophobia.

I'm 34. Being young and cool is the only way I'll have it.

On aging:


“It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.”
― Andy Rooney

I like this one too:

"We're all fools," said Clemens, "all the time. It's just we're a different kind each day. We think, I'm not a fool today. I've learned my lesson. I was a fool yesterday but not this morning. Then tomorrow we find out that, yes, we were a fool today too. I think the only way we can grow and get on in this world is to accept the fact we're not perfect and live accordingly.”

― Ray Bradbury, The Illustrated Man

I turn 55 this December, and though physically I have deteriorated, I feel spry mentally. The most glaring difference in me personally is the importance I place on many things that weren't at the forefront 20-30 years ago. Material objects that once were vital to my feeling of self-accomplishment have been replaced by family first, contributing/volunteering to others in need second. You can only drive one car at a time, why have a luxury sports car as a second? We live in our house, why do I need a vacation property? The things I thought were so important hold little appeal now, and extra monies I work for might make a difference to a Mother and child escaping a horrible environment, a chance for a new life.

I guess ultimately my priorities in life have changed, and I may have grown up a little in the last 30 years or so. I have my family, health, and ability to give a hand to others, so I feel wealthy in so many ways.

In short, yes. Very much so.

Longer answer:

I'm 33, but I have a few chronic health problems that make me feel a lot more beat up than I should for my age. Everyone tells me the same thing: "You're so young!" Or my favorite, my doctor saying, "You're too young to have all these problems!" Yeah, that's great but, well... I do.

I also tend toward depression and must actively fight that through physical activity and other means. I'm a very sentimental, nostalgic person at heart, so aging does depress me. I long for the way certain things were. Not socially, as great strides I agree completely with have been made on that front. But certain things.

I miss Star Trek being on television, with a consistent, persistent fictional universe. (The reboots broke my heart, frankly.)

I miss telephones with actual, tactile buttons.

I miss MTV having music videos around the clock.

I miss the 90s with an absolute passion - the happiest time in my life without question.

I miss people I loved who have died.

I miss my youthful sense of hope and wonder and magic. I try my utmost to recapture it from time to time but it's just... not the same. No matter what I do or try.

And I dread the health problems which will inevitably come with aging. I've already had several surgeries as well, and kidney stones. I've had to give up eating everything I loved due to that particular factor, and I'm willing to do it because I REFUSE to go through that agony again if I can help it. Unbearable. But I miss food during holidays.

I miss seeing my parents young and healthy. Both are aging fast, and one of them is quite ill. The other, in much better health, had a traumatic scare a few years ago that really knocked the wind out of their and my sails emotionally. Still getting over that loss of a sense of security.

On the bright side, I'm healthier right now than I've been probably since I was 15 years old. But I can feel it. Closing in. The inevitable. I suspect I have a long time - decades - before I have to really worry about it. But I can sense the impending doom. People I love, my parents, etc. dying. Getting weaker and older myself. Insecurity about the future.

And of course... the big one... the fear that I will suffer in the end for a long, long time before I pass away. Because with my particular health issues, that is likely. And I'm on federal public assistance so medical cannabis is out of the question, as they would know about any prescription and could cut off my Section 8.

So one thing that would make me happier is for cannabis to get legalized at the federal level before I'm that old lol. May sound silly, but knowing there's a relief at hand other than pain killers (which do nothing for me) would be a huge deal for me in old age.

So yes, you're not alone in thinking about all of this. It is hard, but I guess there is at least some small modicum of comfort in knowing it happens to us all, and we all get through it somehow. Whether we want to or not.

Peace.

The only meaning of life is the meaning you give it. It is purposeless. Which is not a bad thing and not something to get depressed about but enjoyed. What's the purpose of music. It's not going anywhere it just is.

a reply to: Mugly

When I read your post I couldn't help but think of this which I had saved in my picture files. I use to think I would die at 45, and I thought this for many years. I surpassed that age, and then began to think [because I'm dyslexic] that I might have had it backwards-and that perhaps I'd die at 54. I turned 55 on the 10th of this month. I decided quite awhile back that when my time is up I'd like to go with little regret, and hoping that those I leave behind remember me fondly, but don't grieve too much.

My BF's father passed away last month. He planned his entire funeral [didn't want to be a burden on anyone in any way]. There were pamphlets at the funeral home with his own words, in his own writing written on them. I liked the words and it helped me in how I handled my own grief. He said simply "Mourn as you will, but it is my wish not too long or hard." He also said [in his own writing] "My sincere Thanks to all those Friends and Family that have helped me to become the person I am/became, I have Loved these people."

I liked that a lot.

If you have the feeling of doom often it's a sign of depression, which is common with some forms of illness. Try to quiet the mind.
Peace.



I haven't looked it up yet to see who has written it, as it was already torn when I got it.

a reply to: AceWombat04

I just read your comment!! I felt every word you said, and it's strange that I also signed off with "Peace", as I very rarely do that!!

I'm older than you [55], but I've been physically disabled and on disability since I was 36 [was eligible at 24]. 14 operations, and many of them bone, or orthopedic in nature [but not all]. I get it, too young to feel this damn old.

a reply to: RobinB022


Because it is a poem... Enjoy ALL of it..

www.poemhunter.com...

namaste

a reply to: Mugly

Hey, I use to have a problem with spending. I couldn't go into a store without buying something [sometimes even spending bill money to do it]. I felt the blood rushing through my veins - it was like an addiction]. This was many years ago..almost 2 decades. I was sitting in the Drs office reading an article on spending and came across some advice that really hit me. It was simple and I doubted it, but was anxious to try it.. all it said was that, the next time you go shopping, put all of the stuff you want into your cart. The rush is in that, afterwards you feel the guilt... so walk around the store and allow those feelings to wash over you.. the rush of choosing your selections and blah blah, and then instead of going through the check-out line, walk around imagining [allowing or reminding] yourself to feel the guilt that you know you are going to feel if you actually do purchase those things that you don't need.

When I read that article I thought it was silly at first. I mean, I liked the concept, but doubted it in principle... and was also excited to try it. It works! It was a little difficult putting the items back at first, but it really worked and that became exciting too. Now I love saving from coins to bills. I can't afford to save much, but every little bit helps and it's always fun to watch it grow.

a reply to: JimNasium

Thank you.

life has many challenges that a wait us
the wind blows yet we can't see it
as we step out of bed in the morning, we know it is a new day with new challenges
I showed my one year old daughter the flowers at the store 25 years ago this month, I smelled them, she copied me
she turned out just fine
a true heart, a true person and a caring and loving mother of 2

yes, life has it pleasant memories, the other, well we just have to block them as best as we can