In short, yes. Very much so.
I'm 33, but I have a few chronic health problems that make me feel a lot more beat up than I should for my age. Everyone tells me the same thing:
"You're so young!" Or my favorite, my doctor saying, "You're too young to have all these problems!" Yeah, that's great but, well... I do.
I also tend toward depression and must actively fight that through physical activity and other means. I'm a very sentimental, nostalgic person at
heart, so aging does depress me. I long for the way certain things were. Not socially, as great strides I agree completely with have been made on that
front. But certain things.
I miss Star Trek being on television, with a consistent, persistent fictional universe. (The reboots broke my heart, frankly.)
I miss telephones with actual, tactile buttons.
I miss MTV having music videos around the clock.
I miss the 90s with an absolute passion - the happiest time in my life without question.
I miss people I loved who have died.
I miss my youthful sense of hope and wonder and magic. I try my utmost to recapture it from time to time but it's just... not the same. No matter what
I do or try.
And I dread the health problems which will inevitably come with aging. I've already had several surgeries as well, and kidney stones. I've had to give
up eating everything I loved due to that particular factor, and I'm willing to do it because I REFUSE to go through that agony again if I can help it.
Unbearable. But I miss food during holidays.
I miss seeing my parents young and healthy. Both are aging fast, and one of them is quite ill. The other, in much better health, had a traumatic scare
a few years ago that really knocked the wind out of their and my sails emotionally. Still getting over that loss of a sense of security.
On the bright side, I'm healthier right now than I've been probably since I was 15 years old. But I can feel it. Closing in. The inevitable. I suspect
I have a long time - decades - before I have to really worry about it. But I can sense the impending doom. People I love, my parents, etc. dying.
Getting weaker and older myself. Insecurity about the future.
And of course... the big one... the fear that I will suffer in the end for a long, long time before I pass away. Because with my particular health
issues, that is likely. And I'm on federal public assistance so medical cannabis is out of the question, as they would know about any prescription and
could cut off my Section 8.
So one thing that would make me happier is for cannabis to get legalized at the federal level before I'm that old lol. May sound silly, but knowing
there's a relief at hand other than pain killers (which do nothing for me) would be a huge deal for me in old age.
So yes, you're not alone in thinking about all of this. It is hard, but I guess there is at least some small modicum of comfort in knowing it happens
to us all, and we all get through it somehow. Whether we want to or not.