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And Now For a Brief Interlude...

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posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 03:41 PM
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Flatulence is a very serious problem...But who cares?


Too many divides between us these days. Black, White, Rich, Poor, Man, Woman and whatever religion you choose...

There is one point of sameness that we all possess and that is the common fart. Well, some not so common, just ask my wife.

So I have gathered you all here today to address that oh-so-special fart: "The Bath Tub Fart" and the art behind it.

www.swapmeetdave.com...
People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like farts don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odor. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it.

Maybe there is a kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water and even more on the tub. If it is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects.

While one of the new thin ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing. But either way, as long as the water is deep enough, whatever the sound, up comes the bubble or bubbles and you have to be quick but glance back over your shoulder and you have seen it, the Bathtub Fart, the most positively identifiable fart known to man.

It is a common fart and strictly for your own enjoyment unless you are a kid still young enough to take baths with your friends.

Now, there is no one that can remember their first bath tub fart but it was most likely a moment of hilarity for mom and dad, maybe the dog and most certainly you. And did it ever change? Maybe there wasn't always a crowd gathered around the porcelain to share the moment with but it has most likely remained at the very least a moment of amusement. Good times!

And now we shall close with a musical dedication to flatulence:

So in closing, just remember that any day a child wakes up and farts without leaving a prize in the diaper is a day of accomplishment and pride for that child and a break for mom and dad. At that moment we are ALL equally thankful for the lowly fart.

I thank you all for your attention...Carry on.

Jude



edit on 29-8-2015 by jude11 because: (no reason given)




posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 03:54 PM
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a reply to: jude11
Bathtub farts are all well and good. Just don't bite the bubbles, unless you're into that type of thing.

Beano is good for flatulence. It was originally made for dogs but now humans use it, too.



posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 04:02 PM
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a reply to: jude11

As I wipe my laptop screen from Pepsi that violently erupted from my mouth and nose, your post now gives me pause. Flatulence is one of the lowbrow topics that spans all walks of life, and is the ultimate ice-breaker(ask my wife). To me the ultimate sheepishness expressed after throwing one's butt voice is that of my Golden, Bosco. The mystified look on his face as he lets fly is priceless, and has provided me with endless chuckles. Thanks for the levity...



posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 04:03 PM
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I once changed my wife's ringtone to farts.

When she was shopping, I repeatedly called her.



(yes, we're still married)



posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 04:10 PM
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originally posted by: Boscowashisnamo
a reply to: jude11

As I wipe my laptop screen from Pepsi that violently erupted from my mouth and nose, your post now gives me pause. Flatulence is one of the lowbrow topics that spans all walks of life, and is the ultimate ice-breaker(ask my wife). To me the ultimate sheepishness expressed after throwing one's butt voice is that of my Golden, Bosco. The mystified look on his face as he lets fly is priceless, and has provided me with endless chuckles. Thanks for the levity...


We are all equal in the end...Pun intended.


Low Brow maybe but I'll bet even Obama has pulled a dutch oven on Michelle.

Jude

Jude



posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 04:12 PM
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originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: jude11
Bathtub farts are all well and good. Just don't bite the bubbles, unless you're into that type of thing.

Beano is good for flatulence. It was originally made for dogs but now humans use it, too.



If you can bite your fart bubbles...time to seek medical advice.


If you are attempting to bite any fart bubbles...time to check into the rubber room.

Jude



posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 05:26 PM
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a reply to: jude11
I wholeheartedly agree on both counts. On a side note, I saw a box that read "hillbilly hot tub". It was a box of beans. I think you can guess what provided the bubble jets.



posted on Aug, 29 2015 @ 05:34 PM
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