posted on Jan, 3 2005 @ 12:06 AM
you remind me of a younger me...(side note: I think you're older than me). I don't have a lot to tell you explanationwise, but I can share my
experiences...(they're a bit similar, though a lot less intense, and I'm pretty sure if I was being 'picked' for something I eventually got
'rejected', cause the experiences got less intense rather than more intense after a while). here goes:
I definitely understand the feeling of having something 'with me' and still feel the 'tugged in two ways at once' feeling: even now there's a
part of me that feels like I'm called to do something (some weird combination of 'scientific' and 'being prepared for a disaster/world change,
maybe as a leader after the 'big event', so needing to prepare now') and my day life, ie, my girlfriend/fiance, career, day-to-day stuff. I've
tended to attribute the 'two-ways-at-once' feeling more to the angst and uncertainty involved in growing up and finding a way in the world than to
any kind of external intervention in my life, but even so and even now the 'tugging' doesn't seem 'natural' somehow...it's like there's the
usual anxieties about what to do with a life and on top of those there's something extra. Like I said, I pretty much chalk all this up to a normal
part (for me) of growing up, but if tomorrow ufos landed and told me it was something different I'd not really be too surprised, either, if you know
what I'm saying.
I also have a lot of weirdness with nosebleeds, probably in my case a lot more than yours. I've always been really healthy (a swimmer / cross country
guy through highschool and college, studied martial arts too, low blood pressure/resting heart rate and all that, no major illness or physical
ailments) but ever since adolescence I've gotten random nosebleeds, sometimes as often as once a day for a month or two and then nothing for six...as
far as I can tell it's not related to climate (I've lived all over the place and in warm/dry, warm/humid, cold/dry, cold/humid it's all the same)
and they usually end pretty quick, but the nosebleeds don't fit in with my overall sense of health.
From what I can tell there's not much of a good medical explanation for the nosebleeds, either: I've got excellent doctors and saw a great Ear Nose
and Throat guy, and even after he cauterized all the possible veins they continued at the same pace; saw him again and as far as he can tell there's
no good explanation. It seems like they're coming from right around the top of the cartilage that separates the nostrils...I'd be curious if you
have any sense where the 'spider' hides, so to speak, and if it's hiding somewhere near there.
I've not had any of the missing time / followed by planes / seeing ufos, etc, experiences, which together with the weakening of the 'tugged' and
'marked' feelings has made me think that if I was selected for something I might have been mostly or completely rejected from the program, so to
speak. I also wish I had some answers for you...a few questions, though:
a) have you lived in busy/developed places or in more rural / countryside type places? I've pretty much always lived in pretty big cities, which
aren't the easiest places to send in ufos compared to a small town / rural environment?
b) do you have any sense what your 'purpose' is supposed to be?
c) any sense what the "life or death choice" was?
d) any sense what the thing you're supposed to reinvent is?
Anyways, just letting you know that there are people out there with similar experiences, even if (like in my case) the experiences aren't as intense
as yours. hope you find your answers...if I find any I'll share them, hope you'll do the same.