Divorce American Style

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posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 07:44 AM
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With the divorce rate hovering at around 50% some states are trying to make it harder for couple to divorce,in Arkansas it is easier to get out of a marriage than to buy a new car!

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - After eight months of dating, Sarah Watson and Michael Rector are about to take the plunge, but first they participate in the pre-marital counseling required by Arkansas law for couples choosing a unique union called "covenant marriage."

www.msnbc.msn.com...

Three states are trying to make getting a divorce harder, I hope that the rest of the states soon follow suit! I know people who are on thier second third, and even fourth marriages and don't think there is anything wrong with it!
I think that it is a good idea to make it harder to divorce, I know many people who go into marriage with the thought that if it dosen't work out "we can always get a divorce". The til death do us part thing is long gone in our society and couples should put far more thought into getting married then they do!




posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:22 AM
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I don't think it should be made harder to get divorced. It should be harder to get married. Getting married after a few months of dating? Can you tell if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you've only known for some months?



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:35 AM
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Zerb, I agree it should be harder to get married, but the last thing we need is a another governmental law telling us how we are to marry, it should be common sense that you wait until you know the person you are getting married to, although sometime people do hide thier real personna's but for most of this it is not the case. If you fight too much before you get married, it is not going to change! I think that is the problem, most go into the marriage thinking the other person will change, which is almost never the case, you can adapt but you will not change.

So sadly there is no real solution, unless we can get people to think before they marry, and stick it out after they do! Unless of course if there is abuse
or some other dangerous situation!



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:41 AM
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Of course you can regulate when people are "allowed" to get married. I sometimes get the feeling that Americans have a stronger need to get married. Over here it's more common to stay together for a few years and see if things work out instead of freaking out because your 25 and not yet married.

But maybe that's just another stereotype.



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:51 AM
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People are waiting longer to get married, the average age has gone up to around 25 (I think), and it is no longer a stigma to be 30 and unmarried, but unfortunatly it hasn't changed the divorce rate. I know quite a few people who lived together for a couple of years and got along fine, but as soon as they got married things fell apart. Can't tell you why that would happen but it did and does, frequently!



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:51 AM
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I agree it should be harder to get married, but the last thing we need is a another governmental law telling us how we are to marry, it should be common sense that you wait until you know the person you are getting married to,


Ahh, but common sense isn't so common, now is it?


Personally, I agree with harder to get married. It should be mandatory to live together for at least a year first...as you never TRULY know someone until you've done this. Another factor is kids. I personally believe there should be some kind of penalty for having children out of wedlock (not for religious reasons, but for social ones), and that couples should be married for at least a year before having children...but that's just me. Of course, many would see all of this is an infringement on rights.

Then again, it's an infringement on my rights for my tax dollars to have to support these children who are born to mothers who were simply irresponsible, in either getting pregnant out of wedlock, or by getting pregnant before truly knowing their spouses.

Personally, I knew my wife for 10 years, and we lived together for a couple of years before tying the knot. There were no surprises, and I have little doubt that we'll be old and gray together....



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 09:14 AM
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Divorce sux.

I'll never get married again - I'll just find a woman I like and buy her a house.




posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 09:25 AM
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Divorcee here.

I dated her for a little over year and then we decided to "tie the knot".

I loved her, I really did. It was great. after a year we had a child. My daughter is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

We were married for almost 7 years, I don't know what happened. I wanted to be away from her more that I wanted to be home, she changed too, in the end, I honestly feel that we just did it too early. We should have waited a couple of more years.


I have been with my Girlfriend for almost 7 years now, we've lived together for 6 1/2 of them... still going great. Not sure if she and I will get married or not. The subject has come up, but neither of us have acted on it....

I don't know, we'll see.


I think anyone thinking about marriage should make it the hardest decision of thier life, almost treat it as a life and death situation....

There are going to be hard times and good times, be sure that you're ready to handle both.

I feel that people should wait until thier mid to late 20's... when you're 19-21-22-23, you're still young, you most likley have not experienced a lot of the world.... take time, do things enjoy life, then find that person, the one who's right and you will then enjoy life together.



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 10:18 AM
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I'm 27 and currently living with the girlfriend of 2 years and so far things have been great. Based on previous relationship experiences we're both looking at each other wondering when the "magic" might end, but so far it hasn't. So we'll continue to put this "magic" to the test and see if we can build a foundation from it, you know, for long-term purposes.

Actually, she tells me every day that we're getting divorced, if i continue to love my computer more than her.


*hugs the monitor*

"i'll never leave you for her, you sweet silicon based technology!"



Otherwise, I agree that getting married should become more difficult. Something tells me drive-thru marriage chapels in SinCity has nothing but disaster spelt all over it.



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 01:36 PM
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Originally posted by elevatedone
I think anyone thinking about marriage should make it the hardest decision of thier life, almost treat it as a life and death situation....

There are going to be hard times and good times, be sure that you're ready to handle both.

I feel that people should wait until thier mid to late 20's... when you're 19-21-22-23, you're still young, you most likley have not experienced a lot of the world.... take time, do things enjoy life, then find that person, the one who's right and you will then enjoy life together.

You're right about waiting till the late twenties, for most people. And even though I'm male, I will have to say that the female of the species does mature earlier than we do. I remember my 20's...no way I was ready for the committment neccessary for a successful marriage. Good job, no responsibility, just a party animal. You don't turn that around overnight.



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 01:40 PM
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Agreed... I got married at the ripe age of 32...
Maybe a bit longer than I would have preferred, but hey I know I've got a keeper...



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 04:27 PM
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Hi ;
I came from a family that my Mom and Dad where married for 45 years , that being said I asumed that marraige was forever , but I am in the process of devorcing my wife of 14 years as she had had an afrair she blames on the book ,she had read. Well I did not buy that and ofcourse I blame it on not paying any attension to her. As her Boss constantly and I mean every day hit her with compliments. But still why she did not tell me , as it went on for years. She wanted me back , but I did not want her because of a lack of trust. I guess you just have to have the right person , a friend you could trust ..Maybe one day , but for now I kind of guy shy. I think it would be wrong for one to stay in a relationship where one is feeling like that. What good would it do to either one. So , I feel that by me getting this divorsement , that we could just find the one we really want to be with.



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 06:03 PM
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I work for divorce attorneys in Louisiana and we have covenant marriage law, but it is optional! I am married and we did not go that route. If something were to happen (God forbid!), all we would have to do is live apart for 180 days and the marriage would be over. That is simplifying it a bit but that is the gist. I doubt Arkansas is making everyone enter into a covenant marrage!



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 06:22 PM
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The Problem is women. They are the ones filling for divorce. Most women marrie for finicial reason's and really don't care for the husband but his money. Then you have the issues where women prefer the argumental males, trouble making males. compared to the stable guys that women call 'nice guys'. This type of desire all contrivutes the divorce rate. The the constant feminist statement that women are oppressed and should feel like they have the right to leace when ever they please even if the male did nothing wrong.

I see female oppression as lack of subtance, it's just like palastian's stating they are oppressed, but blowing jews and killing jews in cold blooded nature.

When a man works half his life and then marries a women for one years and she takes 50% of what he earn in 10 years in second. Thats oppression and theft.

1. Women marrie men for finical reason's.
2. Women find stable, non conflict men as boring and prefer males that cause conflict which leads to divorce after a few years of marriage.
3. Women are the choosers
4. Women don't marrie the who of the male but the what. EG donald trump, movie stars.

This who issue is from female mentality, when the women became free, she feels like she can do what she feels. This of course leades to chaos.


The women states she can LOVE, but her action's don't show it.

The dumb women is immoral for marring a THUG, crimnal.
The smart women is immoral theif and marries a successful man.

Tell me a women that marries a guy because he is good?
Tell me a women that marries a guy that is unsuccessful?
[edit on 30-12-2004 by Thinker]

[edit on 30-12-2004 by Thinker]



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 07:47 PM
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Hey Thinker your asking for trouble there mate, but you do have some solid points, there are women out there that are exactly as you described. Even the most simple, pretty and "oh im so lovely" of them on the quite, to there mates, say "yeah but hes loaded".

The one's i can never get to grips with are the ones that find the troublemakers attractive. Why?

I think they should make marriage a thing of the past personally, putting all those money laws and tax incentives in there should be abolished. Men and women are pretty much equal these days. Im never getting married, i would like to mark our union in some way, but for me thats as far as it goes. You find someone you love and you stay together thats it, its the love between the two people thats the important thing and their love for their children if they have any, nothing else matters.

In the event of a break down of a relationship like this and children are involved, then i believe it is the responsibility of society to look after them if needs be. [If needs be]. For our society is not exactly the best when it comes to family, who should also help, and if it must teach people all the enjoyable sins and temptations there are, then it must pay for the fall out, or it should start to teach its children better. Child support laws are neanderthal to say the least and very constrictive leaving many men to live in squalid conditions, if it was run better and fairer they might get more input from absent fathers.

Marriage these days is much harder then it used to be because there's far more temptation out there, lots of hedonists showing people all the joys of life. The situation in the UK is ridiculous. There are so many single 30 somethings from both sides, no one wants commitment, well at least not endorsed by law. Marriage should be taught by society that it is for people that know, i.e. because they have been with each other for a long while, that their commitment is sound, and that they wish to confirm this in the presence of God.

So they should make it harder to marry, not divorce.

Forcing someone to live in matrimony with someone that they know is not good for them anymore is pointless and could lead to some extremely dire situations. Murder probably being the worst.

Edited to add some of these ,,,,,,

[edit on 30-12-2004 by kode]



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:37 PM
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Originally posted by kode
Hey Thinker your asking for trouble there mate, but you do have some solid points there are women out there that are exactly as you described even the most simple pretty and "oh im so lovely" of them on the quite to there mates say "yeah but hes loaded".

The one's i can never get to grips with are the ones that find the troublemakers attractive. Why?

I


Somehow being a trouble maker, have temper problems. Seems to project a dominate behaviour, masculine behaviour. I also feel that women are passive physically, but mentallity they are much like the trouble making men. I also believe this makes them have something in common. Then you go into attraction. Women want to be desired, i mean by all men. The women is turned off by a man that loves her, he is seen as needy and being too nice, boring. It's kinda like heart gaining game. Once the women has you, your heart she kinda get bored and becomes disinterested. But once you forgfot to call her, go out with other women and bang other women. She becomes jealous because she know feel's like she is not special and feel's unattractive and ugly. So what she does improves her looks and then try's to win back her the male even tough he had commit adultery. She does this until she gains his heart then repeats the process..

This why you get single women trying bang husband's of other wifes. They are trying to see their value in society in trying to see if a man will betray his wife in order to be with her. If he does, the women will feel special because he cheated on his wife her and so she feel attractive and desired.

If you watch those reality television shows where there is one man and a heap of women. You will see that all the women want the man. Why? because women want to win, they want to be better then other women and want to feel desired. Even though she has no interest in Him!.

Now if you change the it and have one women, and a heap of men. 95% of men already make the decission they don't want her. They don't like her.
So they will not be competive for the female. Simply because if they don't like, they will not chase. But women on the other hand chase, for a win, to see if they are desired, or just to say to the other women i won him. ha ah. But i don't liek him .


This also can be thrown in the dating the sence. The women could be dating a guy and have no interest, just to have a boyfriend at the time, so she doesn't feel inferior to her other female friends or lonely. She of course doesn't tell him this. This simply using the male, until something better comes along. Rememember if you like food, you can always taste all the fruits until u get one you like. Products.men are simply that to women, a thing that serves a purpose. But men are difference they lookup women are indivuduals, not products and don't dump, use until something comes better? why because men are want good in this world.

If the women was a shepard she would leave a weak lamb behind to dye and buy a new one.

If the man was a shepard, he would pick up the weak lamb and take it home and nurse it, then buy a new one.

Whats the difference?

Well the women see's men as expenable objects and is loveless
The man see's a light in everything, and loves everything.


As you can see you can start to see the women is morally not as high as men.
This explain's why they date/marriage thugs and trouble makers. She doesn't really care for morall men. But power, domince, masculinity and immorality.

She tends to desire immorality more then morality it's self. If you look upon bisexual trends women tend want to try it. Men are just no way, because of their moral instict and you don't see normal men dating female thugs.

You can fix marriage, simply because the women is immoral. Before women where forced to follow the male iway of marriage. Marriage was ok. But ever since she got her freedom. Her wants became more important then the man's and their she changed the world and left the man

The man's want's was always marriage and familiy uion. The man is moral being and loves. His desires is marriage and union. He follows morality and the good of the world. This is why he does not leave his wife, or desterst his family. Unlike the women, who cares nothing for the man but only her offspring and her desires. She does not desire morality, good or ethical standards. But the desires the oppsite of what man desires.

Thsi is why u have this divorce problem. Simply because women can not love good and therefor can not love at alll.



[edit on 30-12-2004 by Thinker]

[edit on 30-12-2004 by Thinker]



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:49 PM
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Originally posted by Thinker

The man's want's was always marriage and familiy uion. The man is moral being and loves. His desires is marriage and union. He follows morality and the good of the world. This is why he does not leave his wife, or desterst his family. Unlike the women, who cares nothing for the man but only her offspring and her desires. She does not desire morality, good or ethical standards. But the desires the oppsite of what man desires.

Thsi is why u have this divorce problem. Simply because women can not love good and therefor can not love at alll.



Judging from previous posts you should edit this to state only WHITE men are good all others are rapists right? No man leaves his wife? Or only no White man leaves his wife?

You have got to be kidding dude



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 08:57 PM
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Originally posted by Amuk

Originally posted by Thinker

The man's want's was always marriage and familiy uion. The man is moral being and loves. His desires is marriage and union. He follows morality and the good of the world. This is why he does not leave his wife, or desterst his family. Unlike the women, who cares nothing for the man but only her offspring and her desires. She does not desire morality, good or ethical standards. But the desires the oppsite of what man desires.

Thsi is why u have this divorce problem. Simply because women can not love good and therefor can not love at alll.



Judging from previous posts you should edit this to state only WHITE men are good all others are rapists right? No man leaves his wife? Or only no White man leaves his wife?

You have got to be kidding dude


I can't discuess statistics with black or arab rape statistics in europe since it's seen as inciting racism. So lets just turn a blind eye to it to crimes so we can live in torlent society.



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 09:01 PM
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Originally posted by Thinker
I can't discuess statistics with black or arab rape statistics in europe since it's seen as inciting racism. So lets just turn a blind eye to it to crimes so we can live in torlent society.


I am just trying to clarify.

are ALL men good and moral and ALL women gold digging sluts, or is it only WHITE men that are moral and would a non white woman be even MORE of the above?

I think you are pulling our leg I honestly don't think you could POSSIBLY believe that crap



posted on Dec, 30 2004 @ 09:13 PM
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Originally posted by Amuk

Originally posted by Thinker
I can't discuess statistics with black or arab rape statistics in europe since it's seen as inciting racism. So lets just turn a blind eye to it to crimes so we can live in torlent society.


I am just trying to clarify.

are ALL men good and moral and ALL women gold digging sluts, or is it only WHITE men that are moral and would a non white woman be even MORE of the above?

I think you are pulling our leg I honestly don't think you could POSSIBLY believe that crap


Instically women are bad, men are bad because their ideology's and culture mabe dna. You must look at it as majority minority thing.
Statisics. Prediction of human dna, predition of culture, predition of ideology.
If the majoirty of women are like this, then all get labeled.
If the a certain race rapes more then another then their culture gets blamed or their dna. Which ever one is proven etc.

Statistics is not 0% 100% but 0 to 100. not black and white, but alot of white, greyish color's and darkness.

Look at the matrix movie, it's all math's. The prohopt see's the system and predict it's outcome. It's all patterns t6hat can be predicted and people live by certain patterns, patterns of though, cultrue etc..

NEO is the the correct pattern, the one that see's the matrix around him, the falseness, the corput mathical forumula. He has the solution, that fixes it/
This why jesus said i am the way. MEaning he was the system that preditced harmony and heaven.


I don't have the solution for it but i am seeking it. Many claimed to have it, budda, mohammed, founders of religions, cults etc. Leaders etc, predistants.

Most have failed.
[edit on 30-12-2004 by Thinker]

[edit on 30-12-2004 by Thinker]





 
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