Infinite,
I just came across your thread today and was very interested in your ongoing dreams. I have been a lucid dreamer since I was a child and have taught
myself to keep a notepad next to the bed. I also keep a dream journal to document my dreams as sometimes it is interesting to go back and notice
paterns and what my emotional/mental state was at a given time.
I usually have two types of dreams - the everyday, 'normal' types I forget as soon as I awake and the lucid ones, which I can only describe as
watching a film, but with much more clarity and vivid visuals and sensations like smell, taste, touch and emotional depth. I usually remember these
intact (like a film) but it helps to write them down as soon as I'm up, as I sometimes forget the little details. It is my experience that these
little details are what make dreams important.
Also these vivid film-like dreams are different from the normal dreams as I am often disturbed by them when I wake. Depending on the dream it can
range from a nagging sense of something not being right to outright headaches, depression and anxiety.
On a few occasions these lucid dreams have been like premonitions and there was a time in my teens when I hated to sleep for fear of dreaming. I also
didn't like to listen to the news or read newspapers because I felt I was going to go crazy from the sometimes prophetic quality of my dreams.
Nothing was ever completely clear - for example, a horrible dream about a child abducted and hidden away in th basement never brought along with it
any addresses or other form of identifying anything. I was allowed to 'see' the dream but not able to help and that took a long time to come to
terms with.
And before anyone asks I never dream any lotto numbers
It was more like things happen at the same time as I am dreaming them (thus the next day
newspaper fear). I remember mudslides in India and Mexico. I have dreamed of fires, floods, wars, earthquakes, abductions and death of people I know.
This has been a constant throughout my life, but as these things don't always happen and I don't always dream them, I do have long periods where I
don't dream anything. Sometimes years go by with nothing at all. But when they do start up my friends and family start to get worried.
As I get older I don't dream as much. So obviously the few lucid dreams I have, are the ones I tend to pay attention to.
The reason I wanted to reply to you is:
1. I know that dreaming like this often feels like a burden. But you may be helping people or at least informing them about something.
2. I don't think there is much you can do about it. For some reason you seem to have connected to something, so try in the dream if you can, to look
around and notice the smaller, less evident things. This takes a little practice and control.
3. Write down every single thing as soon as you wake - even if you remember it exactly and think you will for a long time. Write it down and try not
to leave out any details, no matter how minor. This, like most things, is something you have to practice. It may help trigger something later on.
Also, remember voices and sounds, these are sometimes important. I used to have a dream where I would wake up and repeat the same thing over and over
again. It never made any sense. Writing it down helped as it was the name of a close friend's nickname spelled backwards. That friend was going
through a hard time and was quite ill, but he hadn't told anyone. Sometimes our subconscious mind can act in strange, puzzle-like ways we don't
understand.
4. Your dreams seem to be something very special. Bad or good, it is also something that is unique and happening to you for a reason. I can't say
what it is, but there is a reason or you wouldn't be having them night after night.
I wish you luck and hope that you can talk to people here and maybe friends and loved ones as I think you probably need to feel you aren't going
crazy. I hope you continue sharing them with us as well. I have heard from some people I know who don't usualy dream that they've been having 'End
of the World' type dreams. This has to mean something.