Hats off to Amuk for his amazing post. While I may not be quite as barnacle-encrusted as he is, I have noticed from looking at your pictures that I
am above the average age on this site (which looks like it's about 22.)
Here's my stuff. A little more recent, but still shows (a) how much of a hick I am, and (b) how much the world seems bizaare to a guy caught in the
oncoming headlights of the big 4-0.
Do You remember when:
- Your Mom made Your Dad get rid of his Lava lamp, and he accused her of being "square."
- Your Dad's license plate ended in an even number, so he could only buy gas on even numbered days, after waiting in line for 20 minutes?
- Some records weren't "Stereo," they were merely "High Fidelity."
- You're mom would always call every music machine a "Hi Fi," and even referred to a CD player as a "Hi-Fi" up to the day she died.
- Your parents were worried, because the Arabs had cut off the oil, and the price had gone to 55 cents a gallon?
-In order to write your yearly letter to Santa, you first opened the Sears catalogue to the toy section. . .
- A calculator came with a three-pronged cord, and needed 2 minutes to warm up. It also took up most of the desk, and hummed like a vibrator.
- The cigarettes that you smoked out behind the barn cost 65 cents.
- You stood in line for an hour to play THE first video game, which consisted of two white lines bouncing a white sqaure across a gray TV screen.
- Telephones still RANG, instead of twittering like electronic insects, or playing a Japanified/Muzak-ed version of a top 40 song.
-You DIALED a telephone, instead of touching little buttons the size of a pinhead; back when a telephone could believably be used as a murder weapon
- Heroes had names like Roger Staubach, Clint Eastwood, and Steve Austin
-Remembering when casettes replaced 8 track
- Every boy (and half the girls) in America found a toy pistol in their Christmas stocking, and it shot 'caps' made with real gunpowder?
- GI Joe was not 'having adventures,' he was kicking butt on evil commies in Vietnam or Czechoslovakia (the latter of which hasn't existed for more
than a decade!)
-Only hicks like your friend's dads called 'em "Russians." Educated people like your social studies teacher called 'em "Soviets." (Speaking of
another country that hasn't existed in a decade.)
-The first time someone called someone else a "son of a B_ _ _ _ " on TV: Hawkeye Pierce called Major Flagg that.
-The only "cyclists" who wore helmets were policemen.
-The only people who wore seatbelts in cars were Insurance adjusters and supporters of Ralph Nader.
-A "child's car seat" meant either the back dash, or the floorboard of the back seat, or else in mom's lap, depending on the size of the kid.
Interestingly, only a few thousand people a year were injured in wrecks.
-Remembering what you were doing when you heard Bonn Scott was dead, but that AC/DC would keep playing
-Remembering what you were doing when you heard that John Bonham died, and that Led Zepplin wouldn't.
- Your brother was the talk of the town, when he ordered a bunch of electronic parts from a catalogue, and built the first computer in the tri-state
- To keep up with your brother, the high school school went and bought a computer; it was called a TRS-80, and produced by Radio Shack!
-When even Democrats liked Ronald Reagan.
-You kissed a girl under the bleachers while the band was warming up.
- "PDA" stood for "Public Display of Affection," and was forbidden by the school handbook.
-Your first date was a "hunting date." You borrowed a friend's .22 rifle. He brought it to school and put it in your locker. A teacher who saw
it said "for God's sake, get permission where you hunt." Becky filled a sack with cottontails and you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
-You could still find parts at the store for a 67 Mustang, because they weren't 20 years old yet.
-You could work on a car yourself, without anything more complicated than a timing light. Cars still had carbeurators.
-One of them fancy Honda preludes cost $6,000. And even if you got the money, your dad wouldn't let you park a foreign car in the driveway.
-When you went to a movie theater, and they showed footage of a flag waving while the "Star Spangled Banner" played, and everyone in the building
stood at attention? For a FILM of the flag? They probably applauded before sitting back down. And nowadays some skateboarder who plays in the
parking lot where you work is wearing shorts made OUT of the flag????
-When the school had tornado drills, fire drills, and "civil defense" drills?
-when a fallout shelter sign was not a collector's item?
-When "tourist" was a polite way of saying Japanese?
-People were afraid that the Japanese were going to buy all of the USA up and turn it into a cheesy tourist attraction? (and did they succeed?)
-Condoms were kept behind the counter at the Pharmacy, and you had to "explain" why you needed them? (the best answer was to keep rain out of your
-You could date a girl for a month and expect to see less of her panties than you'd see of a stranger's during the 6 o'clock news, in the new
-Kissing a girl during the movie "Wargames"
-Your Dad got you an electric typewriter and a briefcase as graduation gifts, since you were headed off to college?
-seeing (and hearing!) a compact disc for the first time.
-When you went home from college during wheat harvest, to drive a combine, because you knew you'd get paid at least $5 an hour, and get a steak
dinner every day for lunch? You could expect to keep at least $500 and take it back to college. . .
-When you got off the plane at La Guardia, and took a cab into Manhattan, and all the crowds were staring at you, then you finally realized it was
your cowboy hat, that they stared at.
-You made extra money for college punching cards for the computer in the basement of the Lab?
-When you travelled overseas, and people found out you were a Texan, they'd ask you if J.R. was really that mean in person.
-The first time someone called you "sir," and you weren't wearing a uniform.
-The first cell phone you ever saw came with a back-pack for the battery.
-A DVD was 9 inches across, just like an old LP
-A friend of yours got busted hacking into a military computer, and was offered a job instead of a prison sentence.
-When you visited your wife's home town, and pulled out your PDA, and they thought it was a phaser or something. They huddled around and watched
like Neanderthals who had stolen fire while you 'wrote' on the pad with a stylus, and the PDA recognized your writing!
-The crowd stared at your wedding, because your brother was carrying the first digital camera anyone had ever even thought of, a beta test.
You know you're my age if, when you pull out your cell phone, flip it open, then you have the overwhelming urge to say "Kirk to Enterprise."