Anniversary for Mom (poem)

I didn't go for a "catchy" title. I didn't write this looking for stars or accolades or even criticisms really although people can say or respond any way they want to or not... No pity party here either. Yes, I suppose I am full of self pity and I hide it well, it is not an attractive trait.
I am not a poet but, writing is an outlet for me. It seems to allow me a moment to collect my thoughts (which are usually jumbled) and regroup. In honor of my Mother's death one year ago today and as a cathartic release I have posted this selfishly using this forum as a conduit for my non metrical extremely free verse...maybe if someone else ever feels this way, they will know they are not alone...
Thanks!

I probably shouldn't have come to work today.
My Mom died yesterday.
The wound is fresh.
The pain is still so deep.
My Mom died yesterday.
I drink a lot to numb the pain.
But all it does is cloud my brain.
My Mom died yesterday.
You have those that need you.
You should be there.
But my Mom died yesterday.
How can you ever let it go?
How can you not let the emotions show?
How long can you keep it stuffed down inside?
There aren't too many places left to hide.
My Mom died yesterday.
So angry, on edge, skin bristling.
Time goes by so slow now…
Since Mom died yesterday.
Will it always feel like yesterday?
It’s been a year today since she’s been gone.
The time has been brutal just dragging on and on.
Will it always feel like she just died yesterday?
Everyone says you will feel better one day.
It will always feel like she just died yesterday

a reply to: TNMockingbird

She lives within your heart. Cherish the memories you have and take comfort that she is on a journey in the evolution of her soul. Ascension is not a bad thing, the hurt you feel is okay, but don't let it bring you down, use it to heal and to move forward in your own journey.

Is a beautiful poem.

I lost my mother 23 years ago, I've had more years without her than with her in my life, but I still miss her. Mostly when something really great or awful happens in my life my first thought is (often) to call mom and tell her... :/

I don't think losing a parent is something that one simply gets over. They live in our thoughts and hearts always. I lost my Dad 7 years ago and it seems far more recent. My Mom is 92 and I fear the loss of her presence in my life every day.

a reply to: TNMockingbird
Chirp - I followed your link to Night. That was beautiful!!! [[[HUGS]]]

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Nice!

a reply to: TNMockingbird


When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers,
He was into His sixth day of "overtime"
when the angel appeared and said.
"You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic.
Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable.
Run on black coffee and leftovers.
Have a lap that disappears when she stands up.
A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg
to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said.
"Six pairs of hands.... no way."

It's not the hands that are causing me problems,"
God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes
that mothers have to have."

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks,
'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows.
Another here in the back of her head
that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know,
and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child
when he goofs up and say.
'I understand and I love you'
without so much as uttering a word."

God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently,
"Get some rest tomorrow...."

I can't," said God,
"I'm so close to creating something so close to myself.
Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...
can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...
and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly.
"It's too soft," she sighed.

But tough!" said God excitedly.
"You can imagine what this mother can do or endure."

Can it think?"

Not only can it think,
but it can reason and compromise,"
said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and
ran her finger across the cheek.

There's a leak," she pronounced.
"I told You that You were trying
to put too much into this model."

It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."

What's it for?"

It's for joy, sadness, disappointment,
pain, loneliness, and pride."

You are a genius, " said the angel.

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.

Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

🌷💐🌺