a reply to: Cicilicious
Solipsism is the word, I guess.
I can't exactly relate to your situation, but I can suggest you try something.
Over the past few months I've been sick with a nasty virus. Very subtle, I didn't know I had it until recently. The symptoms have mostly been
limited to fatigue and lethargy, but it also caused me a bit of delirium. I had been waking up at night with terrible dreams, and I slept all day and
lay awake at night. It was frightening, because normally I'm an athletic guy and I enjoy physical activity.
The problem was, before I knew I had it, I had convinced myself it was all just in my head. A bad trick of the mind, so to speak. I was almost
relieved when I found out it was just a virus, otherwise I may have driven myself mad. I was intent on blaming my own mental weakness, my flaws of
character. During a particularly bad bout of sleepless delirium, I even thought God was punishing me for things I've done in the past, and things I
continue to do.
Now, I'm not saying you have some health problem or anything like that. I guess my point is that it's easy to convince yourself of some inherent
failure, when that may not be the case. What you experience could be attributed to any number of things, not necessarily some fault you were born
Now, my direct advice? Sit in silence for a while and don't think about anything at all. Just think about nothing. That may be hard to do, but just
focus your attention on the corner of a table or something, until your mind starts to slow down. You'll almost be able to visualize the thoughts as
they chatter on, like they are seperate entities coming and going. Don't try to stop them, just let them come. Eventually they'll grow quieter, and
then they may stop completely. It's sort of like meditation, I guess. I've used this in the past, and it helps me just calm the hell down whenever I'm
too worked up over something. It's almost like a mental cleaning, if you do it right.
Anyway, that's all I got for you, take it or leave it.
edit on 9-8-2015 by Talorc because: (no reason given)