a reply to: Hijinx
Hey Hijinx - see your problem is you care too much. And you are too responsible. All qualities that everyone should have and had more of in the past.
You work with a large amount of people all chewing each other up and spitting them out just so they themselves can look good and get the $$ and not
lose their position.
People like you make the BEST managers. But they also do it at personal expense. Especially if you are under someone else's thumb.
This job is going to kill you. If you don't find a way to learn how to deal with it.
Start with little steps. Here is what I would suggest:
- MAKE yourself take a break. Start with 10 minutes twice a day. And do it like clockwork. Put a sign up on your door, close your office blinds and
make it known that it is your break time. Remember that you can't be of any help to anyone else if you aren't functioning at full capacity. This is
important to know: you can't help others (which is your natural way of being, empathy, etc., unless you yourself are capable of doing so. This means
you need to catch a breath). If you can leave your office and just sit outside or take a walk this is even better. It clears the mind and you
disconnect from the weight of emotions in the room and knowing that there are people waiting to swarm you.
- Incorporate some type of exercise in your day. Make this your special time for you. No one is to bother you during this time. Stress builds up in
the muscles and you need to release it. Disease and injuries will come about otherwise.
- Does your work have a psychologist or some sort that you can just spill everything to? You have no idea (or maybe you do) of how freeing it is to
unload to a professional because they are non-judgemental and even the tiniest trick they give you will be amazing. Sure you have to leave work to do
it, you know work is piling up while you are gone but just one session will make you feel so free!!! I guarantee this.
- I'm sure you're not eating properly and it goes with the kind of non-break, constant work you are involved in. But it's vital to eat properly. Even
if this means just having baggies of nuts in your desk. Or a baggie of dates. Take a banana every day - it's portable, no washing involved, good
energy. Stay away from the high useless carbs that make you spike and then drop - not only physically but emotionally. So skip pretzels and
pre-packaged type snacks that are easy to shove in your desk for snacking. It's easy to pop an almond in your mouth between staff visits or just
typing something out and you can eat all day like that.
Don't go back to the drink. You know how you felt when tied to it and how it was affecting your life. You are stronger than allowing something else to
control you while you deal with this other huge issue in your life: making a living which is sucking your soul dry. And so is this how you want to
live life? Yes money makes the world go round but perhaps assess if the job and wage is worth getting up every day to do it all over every day and
trying to solve all the slackers' issues and trying to still do your own job.
Read up "emotional vampires". I am sure you have more than a few at work which are feeding off of you. Empower yourself.
Practice this: envisioning a protective bubble around yourself before you leave home for work. You are an empath and you are sucking up everyone
else's energy around you. This must stop. It does't mean you don't care and it doesn't mean you aren't there to help them. But there are boundaries
and you have to find your boundaries with them. These people are living beings but they are responsible for their own lives and work success. You
matter just as much as they do. Trust me - the majority won't be there after they've used you all up and you are laying on the ground. These type of
people simply move on to the next victim. Consider your true friends - the ones that would be there for you no matter the inconvenience no matter how
much they felt your issue isn't a huge deal. You know they would be there for you because you matter so much to them. Focus on these people and don't
give your entire self to the people at work who only view you as another faceless person that is filling their time while having to be at work. There
is a huge difference trust me.
This is supposed to be a happy time in your life. You are getting married! I assume this IS the person you truly want to spend the rest of your life
with? And you just lost someone dear to you. You are being suffocated with life my friend and it's going to take you out if you don't find a way to
take control. I'm not saying you aren't doing that but ultimately that is what the big picture here is. Not coming down on you - but I have lived your
issue (was not a manager) and I understand with every cell in my being how you express that you just want to shut off. I was fantasizing about how to
end it all - while never intending to do - for years and having to walk out of my job but I was the sole provider of my family. Enter all the health
issues that are still holding onto me now that in the end... my job was outsourced. I am finding myself again and it is a daily struggle but I am more
than a mere job. And so are you!!! I'm here if you need to talk.
Hugs and all the best. You are loving, you are special, you are worthy and you matter. You are loved.