Drunken Clarity

Not sure where to start. Was frustrated, still kind of frustrated.

Anyway, just as a start. I work for a local TV station, and have worked at 2 of the 3 stations in town. I've worked in TV news production for almost 10 years, starting when I was in 11th grade. Just recently celebrated my 26th birthday a week ago today. I remember when I was younger, I always wanted to be a camera guy for the news. I was inspired at a young age from a local morning show, ironically the one station I haven't worked at in town. After getting a lucky call from a station the day after I quit making pizzas, I had my dream job. Except, I came to realize that I'd be doing more than just running a camera. I've learned pretty much everything someone in production can learn. I learned to run audio, graphics, tape operator before that station had a video server for news production. Eventually I even came to be a director, running the switching board, and telling everyone else what to do. Also was a hybrid in that I direct, and do master control, which is airing programs, among other things. Last year, my station started a full local morning show. The practice week started on my 25th birthday at 4am, and after the week, we went live with it. I've been directing this show for a year now. Monday through Friday, 4am. Wasn't fun getting used to, but I've slowly gotten used to waking up so early, at the time that used to be when I went to sleep. It's been strange to say the least.

On the night before my birthday, I got a little drunk, (whole bottle of Jeremiah Weed and some wine) and realized that I have been looking at my life the wrong way.

I have always been a fan of space. More like obsessed I guess. Twenty years of learning about astronomy and such, mostly at home, because my school's never really taught it. Probably why I've developed a deep love of all things Stargate. Have earth's address tattooed even.

As I was sitting there drunk, surfing Youtube, I kept coming across Stargate, as I do from time to time. :3 I thought that since I'll never be an SG team member, or work on the lost city of Atlantis, the closest I could come is be an astronomer. That's my purpose in life. I've always looked to the stars, but never thought that I could work to help better our understanding of them.

Today at work was pretty much the last straw. It's hard to explain everything behind it, but to make a long story short, basically getting told two different things from multiple higher ups, and then getting talked to, regardless of which choice I make, sometimes things that aren't even in my power to control. A few people, myself included, have been scapegoats on more than one occasion. Some have been there for a year or so, while others have been there for more than ten years.

Which leads me to today after work. My sister sent me the link to apply at a college nearby, so I filled it out and sent it in. Also applied for a different job. One that is flexible with school, and may even help pay for it. Now I just play the waiting game. For the first time in years I am truly happy with where my life is going. It's gonna make getting up for work tomorrow much better and brighter.

a reply to: D4RKL1GHT

Fingers crossed for you.

a reply to: D4RKL1GHT

Just keep battling for what is your looking for in this life mate. Even if you drop the ball a few times, don't let it bother ya, just pick it back up ASAP and keep moving forward.

Because once you drop that ball and waste valuable time dwelling on it, your self doubt will completely consume you. You'll just wake up one day a lot older than you feel you should be and just think to yourself...WTF, I had the whole world at my finger tips and just somehow let it slip away!

Anyway... take your chance to succeed in life by the balls and don't let go, because believe me, it can very easily slip though your grasp... That's all I'm really trying to say, I suppose.

a reply to: D4RKL1GHT

best thread i have read in weeks. Well....that and Mblah's got a new job. So...

a reply to: EA006

Thank you! :3

a reply to: Subaeruginosa

Yeah, it's been rough, but I am confident in making my life better. I don't think that anything could really stop me at this point, as I'm too stubborn to give up on something I want this badly. Hopefully everything works out well.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Glad to hear it. And I saw that! Awesome to see people bettering themselves. Gives me hope for my own future. :3