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originally posted by: Gordi The Drummer
First off, I'd just like to say that I don't like seeing you upset. At all. Ever.
2nd, (as others have pointed out) it is not selfish/greedy/wretched etc to want to be loved by a partner. It is a perfectly natural thing to desire.
Now, to the meat and bones...
Do YOU REALLY want a partner? YES/NO
If the answer is YES, then... maybe try asking....
What are you looking for in a partner?
What type of person will they be?
What values will they have?
What interests will they have?
Where does that sort of person hang out?
Now, Does your life currently allow you to find & interact with people of that particular variety?
(i.e. Are you meeting potential partners but just not converting those into a relationship, or are you not meeting anyone who could potentially "fit the bill" at all?)
If you ARE meeting them, then great - it's probably just a matter of time. (Unless you are putting them all off somehow?)
Join a club, group, class.... volunteer... mix things up a bit... widen your circle of acquaintances.
If you REALLY want to meet someone, what are you currently doing to make it happen? (I don't mean trying to "force" it to happen, that never works, but if you really want it to happen - why not make it easier for fate to intervene!)
Lastly, it might help to review EXACTLY what it is that you are looking for.
I have a theory that every person on the planet is a unique individual, so - if there is such a thing as the Ideal Partner, there can be only One (for each person), because we are ALL DIFFERENT.
The chances of finding that one are several billion to one, so it makes practical sense for most of us to settle for slightly less than the 100% Ideal. So, we settle for 99%, 95% maybe even 90% of what would be Ideal.
(Have a think about it - Who do you know who has a 100% PERFECT relationship????)
The problems arise when we set the bar too high.... and miss out on potentially great relationships.
Or set the bar too low.... and end up in relationships that are not very fulfilling or satisfying.
I think, The trick is to set the bar at the correct level!!
I wish you all the very best.