posted on Jul, 30 2015 @ 05:13 PM
Greetings fellow members.
I am having some issues, and need to gain insight.
I should explain that I am comfortable in my skin, and am capable of enjoying my own company, which is just as well. Some of you may be aware, that
when it comes to matters of the heart, I am either improbably unlucky, or just an utter sap, and that either way, relationships I have been a part of
have left me pretty much used up.
For all that, I am a pretty happy guy. I am cynical as all hell, but a happy guy. I have my mind, my family, my son and my friends, and life is
You would think, that a person with as many friends and acquaintances as I have, with a life as full of colour and wonder as mine is, would be happy
with his lot, and I SHOULD be!
And yet somehow, I am fantastically lonely. I feel so greedy, so gluttonous, so wretched for feeling that way, but this is how it is, none the less.
A friend of mine was talking to me yesterday, and all out of the blue, after she had finished talking about her man, she said "So... do you not WANT
to find someone?", as if I had been in the midst of a host of opportunities to do so, and had ignored them all in favour of consuming more beer or
Aside from the fact that I really did not need to hear THAT question, I really did not want to be thinking about it at all! And now I am. I feel so
empty, and yet I know myself to be full. I am loved, I have people in my life who mean the world to me, and that is the best any human being should
ever hope for. I have no right to expect, hope, or even dream of more, and yet...
Why am I so emotionally greedy all of a sudden!? What the hell is happening here?