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Stupid self inflicted injuries. Share you stupidity.

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posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:11 PM
One day when I was a teenager I realized I was going to be late for school, I fling the door open but not far enough and ran face first into it giving myself a really good black eye.
Pain factor 7, stupidity factor 9

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:22 PM
a reply to: nonspecific

See that is the exact thing...I have done it multiple times too and thought I was so sneaky wearing gloves haha...I think its impossible to not some how get that stuff somewhere sensitive.

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:25 PM
I've got a good one.

Was woken up at 3 am by the sound of the smoke alarm chirping. Why do they always chirp at 3 am?
Anyways, same thing had happened the last two previous nights with different smoke alarms. You'd think we'd get smart and just replace the batteries in all of them, but no.

So it's 3 am and I'm half asleep and mad that the thing is chirping in the kitchen. So, I wander downstairs in a groggy state and decide to climb on top of the kitchen table to see if I can reach the darn thing so I don't have to find a ladder. The ceiling is high, and if I had been in a proper state of wakefulness I would have known better.

Since I obviously can't reach it, I make to step down off the table onto the bench seat to get down. It's winter, I get cold feet and I'm wearing these fluffy nylon slipper socks with no treads on the bottom. They are slippery slipper socks, I misstep and hit the edge of the bench seat with my foot and me and the bench seat go flying. I landed hard on the edge of the bench seat right on my side. OMG the pain, and couldn't breath either. I'm pretty sure I at least fractured a few ribs - maybe broken - very painful! It was months before my side began to feel normal again. I swear for several weeks I could feel something shift around in there if I turned the wrong way ... eek.

I remember about 3 days after I did this I had to sneeze and couldn't hold it back - it just about knocked me out of my seat it hurt so bad. Never bothered with x-rays since they don't do anything for broken ribs anyway except maybe wrap them. It's 5 months later now and everything finally feels completely normal.
edit on 16-7-2015 by eeyipes because: (no reason given)

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:37 PM
a reply to: TrueBrit

These are all great! But TrueBrit.... The fact that you were doing an Ace Ventura impersonation takes the cake !!!!

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:40 PM
Haha- oh man, I feel for us all!
One that stands out for me.. While feeding one night at the barn I noticed some nails working their way out of the boards so I grab a hammer to 'make it safe for the horses'. I'm pulling out all the bent ones and replacing. I get to one and am wrangling around trying to get it loose when- you guessed it, the hammer springs off of the nail, hitting me in the head and knocked me out cold. I woke up some time later and checked the mirror and I had 2 perfect cleat marks in my forehead-Lol!

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:46 PM
When I was two-caught a live bumble bee,stuck it up my nose-hospital job,face swelled up like a balloon.

As a kid,jumped off top bunk bed,landed on upturned electrical plug,3plug pins impaled heel and fractured it.

Impaled my own face with a pointy skateboard during a failed trick,managing to detach a chunk of cheek bone which I still have floating about in there 25 years later(missed losing an eye by 1cm luckily).

More skateboard fun-jumped off garage roof,broke ankle.

Wood carving-holding wood wrong,sliced through nerve of middle finger exposing bone,cutting print in two,numb fingertip ever since.

Automotive fun-friend was rolling his broken downcar backwards,with door open-I walked forwards at wrong time and corner of open door impacted my solar plexus-passed out instantly.

New years eve 2000,bottle of gin and some unmentionables-accidental flying headbutt onto the corner of a slate slab,blood pissing out like a fountain-fixed it with gaffer tape,carried on drinking...mother of all concussions the next day,epic scar bisecting eyebrow for life.

Paint stripping(nitro mors) at top of enclosed stairwell-started getting dizzy,passed out-woke up 20mins later at bottom of stairs with cracked ribs,black eye and loads of bruises.

Yep,life can be great fun.

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:47 PM
My pet gerbil had the run of the living room and used to chew anything and everything he could get his little teeth into, including the electric cables for the TV, lamps, etc.

Eventually things got so bad that I thought I'd better tape up the cables to insulate all the small copper wires that had been exposed. So, I turned everything off and set to with the tape.

After a job well done, I switched everything back on again only to notice one tiny copper wire still sticking out. 'Oh, bugger. I missed one, never mind I'll just tape it up now. No need to switch anything off first since it's only one tiny wire' I thought.

Bloody thing stuck straight into my finger and gave me a shock.

Pain: 4/10 Stupidity, laziness and carelessness: 10/10

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 06:54 PM

originally posted by: stosh64

originally posted by: bobs_uruncle
a reply to: nonspecific

Was in an active zone in the Limpopo valley on the Zimbabwe border, my associate shot a Kudu at about 1000 yards. I was so impressed with shot and knowing we were going to brai (BBQ) that Kudu at the base, I did something stupid. When we got to the animal in the Jeep, I jumped out, went over to it and put my arms out with two thumbs up. In a split second I was on my back on the ground with the wind knocked out of me and a broken rib. I took a round from a sniper with a .308, but I was wearing a vest, so no entry. It was the first time I learned bullets have the right of way.

BTW, it hurts every time it's going to rain so I get regular reminders lol.

Cheers - Dave

OK, couple questions.

!. Your jeep was there, you just drove up. Did you ever find the MORON who shot you?

2. You had a bullet proof vest on? Is that normal where you hunt?

Even with a vest you are lucky to be here considering it was a .308.

This was in the late 80's we had to deal with a lot of ANC terrorists, I worked for the military developing national security infrastructure and weapon systems. We had been at one of the perimeter substations that I was checking. Never found the person, but there be crocodiles in the Limpopo River ;-) yes, I was wearing a bulletproof vest, from the report of the rifle they figured the person was probably between 300 to 400 yards (time I dropped to time of sound of shot).

Cheers - Dave

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:03 PM
Snowblowing last year I swung the chute that was throwing snow around right into my face.
Knocked me over and almost out.

It was like getting hit with a 100 pound snowball.

(I've actually done it twice)

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:11 PM
In '79, I was the electrician on call for a large carpet factory and one of the card machines broke down. At 3 in the morning, the mechanic called me in. I quickly diagnosed the problem as a bad 20 HP 3 phase motor, obtained a replacement from the shop, and replaced it. The motor was in an area of the machine that had a standing area of about 5' 5'' and I am 5' 11''. I stood up thinking to myself that was quick... and the next thing I remember was the operator waking me up to tell me it was 8 o'clock, time to wake up and go home. Aside from the knot on my head, I seemed to be OK. (Some people would beg to differ)

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:12 PM
So i stumbled into the bar just in time to see a badger and a bear going at it, when i turned and said to my wife, "I don't know which one smells worse, the badger or the bear". They both turned to look at me, and the fight was on.

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:13 PM
rushing to get ready for work one day, i jammed my mascara wand straight into my eyeball. not a glancing blow, but straight in. at first it hurt pretty bad, my eye got extremely bloodshot and watery, but i figured it would stop hurting eventually and went to work. about halfway through the day it started hurting a lot worse. it had gotten really swollen to the point i really can't open my eye, so my husband came and took me to the hospital. turns out that when i poked my eye, i took out a small chunk of my actual eyeball and i also had the fibers from the mascara wand embedded in my eye. the dr. had to numb my eye with drops in order to pull them out. then i had to put this thick anti-bacterial gel on my eye for two weeks. i am happy to report that my eye made a full recovery, and this incident has become a joke around my house, every day my husband reminds me not to poke myself in the eye with my mascara wand.....stupidity = 8 pain=7

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:23 PM
a reply to: blondegiraffe

Oh my gosh, that sounds horrific!!!!! Weird question, do you hold you hold your mouth open when applying mascara?

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:32 PM

originally posted by: nonspecific
a reply to: Greathouse

What would you say is worse, walking upstairs and thinking there is an extra step or walking downstairs and doing the same?

Walking downstairs thinking there is an extra step in finding a skateboard !

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:36 PM
a reply to: nonspecific

Some years ago,I was watching the movie Rambo while I was making dinner.

Being all macho-charged, I flipped up a carving knife and reached out to catch it... point first, into the palm of my hand.

I'd have laughed if it didn't bloody hurt so much!

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 07:47 PM
I hope you're sitting comfortably...

1. First day in Majorca on holiday. I'm returning from the bar, carrying two pints of ice cold beer. I can't wait to dip into those bad boys while sitting in the hot sun. Except...I trip over my new sandals and go flying. Being the legend that I'm now convinced I am, I manage to preserve the pints... by outstretching my arms and landing smack on my face.

Audience? About 100.
Pride in preserving my pints? Priceless.

2. Ex turns up with a friend at my front door late one night, while I'm in bed with my new partner. Naked, I wrap myself in the duvet and head down stairs.

Top step... I trip over duvet.

Plummet down stairs.

Duvet unwraps with each bounce.

End up at the bottom of the stairs... Naked, torn ligaments in my ankle and a sprained neck.

3. This was about a week ago while I was walking with my parents. I trip over my shoe, stumble and catch myself. I then proceed to stumble and catch myself a further THREE times, before I manage to grab a bicycle stand, swing around and plop down on my bum.

Damage: Massively bruised legs & a sprained ankle.
Quote of the day: "I wasn't going to try to stop you... it was strangely hypnotic" - my dad.

I have more... alas, I have much stupidity to share

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 08:07 PM
This took awhile for me to think of....i just don't injure myself that often.

I had just bought my .40 and my sons 9mm, and we were taking them out to shoot. My .40 is a 7 shot pocket carry, so its compact. I chambered the round, sighted in the target....and didn't make sure my thumb was clear of the slide. The slide has these 2 sharp points facing inward...kind of a dumb design.

With the recoil, the slide punch through my left thumb instantly, then returned to firing position. It was hard for me to understand what had just happened at first, but you could see it was sliced clean across the top of my thumb, just above the knuckle.

We ran to get a bandage around it, and i steristripped it for the next week or so. No stitches were needed, but instead of 3 wrinkles on that knuckle i have 4. And a new grip when firing a sidearm.


the grossest...i didn't really do to myself. But my middle and ring fingers got smashes, broken, and split open on the ends one time. It was at the beginning of off season football workouts, and we were moving some telephone poles to the sand pit. So i got to spend the next hour and a half bear crawling in sand and doing fingertip pushups with my 2 mangled fingers. (fingertip pushups were the coaches way of giving us a stronger their own little sadistic minds, anyway)
edit on 7/16/2015 by bigfatfurrytexan because: (no reason given)

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 08:09 PM
About 8 years ago, I had scalp lotion and eye drops which I sat next to each other in the fridge. One day I took the scalp lotion and applied 2 drops into each eye. I looked at the container and realised my mistake...simultaneously experienced a terrible burning in my eyes.

Ran the cold water tap and did my best to irrigate the eyes in a state of panic - the instructions leaflet stressed to avoid contact with the eyes because it can cause corneal scarring and lead to blindness; should this occur SEEK EMERGENCY MEDICAL TREATMENT. You know, I DIDN'T go to hospital...because I was embarrassed? I actually risked becoming blind in both eyes to avoid feeling a dick at A&E...

Anyway, that was 8 years ago, my eyes are fine, so what I did must have worked. It's a mistake anyone could have made, I suppose. Worrying thing is, I'm a nurse; what if I'd done that to one of the patients...

Funny thing - I never put the eye drops on my scalp by mistake, which would have been harmless. Sod's law.

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 08:23 PM
IWas 14 and a couple of friends and I lifted a box of metal plugs from one of their fathers. We went driving around tossing these 1/2 lb. metal plugs at cows, trees, whatever. We were passing by some kids house I didn't like and I took aim out the window at his mailbox. The car was doing 20 and a threw as hard as I could. It hits the wood frame instead of the metal box and ricochets back and pegs me square in the forehead. Knocks me out, I fall out the window of the car and break my collar bone. I get a good case of road rash on my neck and 9 stitches on my head.

I couldn't think of a story to cover all the dumbassedness that occurred so I just told my parents the truth. Dad laughed his ass off.
edit on 16-7-2015 by In4ormant because: (no reason given)

posted on Jul, 16 2015 @ 08:53 PM
figured i would just be goofy when my wife was getting ready.
sprayed some of her perfume on my testes.
the burn was insane.

wont go into crazy detail but i filled the sink up with water and...........
had to do the rinsey dunk dunk maneuver

wife was laughing her ass off.

edit on 16-7-2015 by Mugly because: (no reason given)

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