If a woman lies about being on the pill, is it rape by deception?

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: Woodcarver

Nope, she didn't know she was pregnant at that point and when I said I had no condoms she said that's cool, I'm on the pill.
After she realised she was pregnant she admitted to me that she lied.
In fact, I had much respect for her admitting it, she could have continued with the lie and I wouldn't have known either way.

The bottom line is that I only consented to sex that day because she lied to me.

Ok on those specific grounds, for it to be a crime, you would have to show how that lie hurt/damaged/or took money from you.

You didn't get her pregnant. You both found out at the same time that the child was not yours. You decided to take care of the child.

No judge will take sides with that set of circumstances. Niether will I. You are both equally complicit. Since you decided to take responsibility for the child seven years ago i would also make you pay child support in the event of divorce or separation. Your local judge may not.

a reply to: marg6043

Unfortunately that is irrelevant.
How do you feel about someone telling lies in order to gain consent for sex?
That is the topic.

a reply to: nonspecific

Everybody should be made liable for their own actions, that is my point, you want sex? never rely on the other person for your safety and protection, that is my motto as a mother to my adult single children.

a reply to: grainofsand

Again is you fault, you didn't protect yourself

a reply to: Woodcarver

Crime or not, do you think telling lies to someone in order to gain consent for sex is okay then?
That is how you are coming across as far as I see it.

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: EvillerBob

Well it's being discussed in the states now. I don't have personal knowledge of the goings on in the UK. I mean, I am under no illusions anyways. I KNOW that making this illegal will result in jail time for people and families destroyed by the government.

dude u need to get laid
preferably at the government comm headquarters
that would fix it

a reply to: marg6043

Hmm, so no problem with a girl lying to me in order to gain my consent to sex then?
Interesting, you are not alone it seems.

a reply to: marg6043

You are more than welcome to stand on the moral high ground.

At what point do we then trust nobody and do nothing.

a reply to: grainofsand

To answer the overall scenario, what if a girl lies that she is on the pill, and she gets pregnant? You are still both complicit in the steps you take to avoid pregnancy. The responsibility of birth control is equal for both parties. If you don't want kids, watch him put on the condom, and watch her eat her pills. You can't just leave it up to the other person. If you both take precautions and it still happens, you can get an abortion. If that is not an option, then you still have a child to raise.

a reply to: grainofsand

I cannot imagine that if the roles were reversed this would have gone the same way.

If you had lied about being sterile or had a vasectomy and she was saying what you did was wrong I would forsee a very different set of opinions in this thread.

a reply to: Layaly

You aren't telling me anything I don't know.

a reply to: grainofsand

I knew someone who's life was really messed up by a man who said he was unable to have children, then, oops! It turns out he was lying because he didn't want to use birth control. Not sure all the reasons why, but it was a very horrible situation.

I don't know about criminalizing it, but it certainly is a wretched thing to do to someone. The problem I have with making it a "rape" is that innocent people who were not lying, but had a birth control 'fail' might end up in jail or fined somehow, even though it wasn't remotely their fault.

How does one protect against a liar, in addition to having "protection?" Don't trust people - take care of your own self first. ALWAYS be responsible for your own birth control, and if they also are using it, great. NEVER trust someone "in the heat of the moment" either, outside a committed relationship. Redundancy is good in case of failure. Condoms are best for stopping STDs with someone you barely know as well - and so I would say use that and have a back up if you are having sex outside a fully committed relationship.

My two cents...

-AB

DON'T STEAL, DON'T LIE and DON'T CHEAT..

GOVERNMENT HATES COMPETITION..

a reply to: nonspecific

I just saw your response after I posted mine - please see it above. I think you are pre-judging what you think a woman would say.

– AB

a reply to: nonspecific

Interesting as a mother I have learned that is always the younger and no so very careful the ones that falls in the mistakes of not been able to control their sexual urges and yes the more experience also falls for it too is not exceptions.

Like I say, how can you trust anybody when you are having "casual sex", that will be foolish.

the link that the op posted extended this to far more than just lies about birth control...
a young man borrows daddy's car for the night, a young girl sees the hot car and well feels drawn to the guy who is driving it. they talk for a little bit in the school parking lot and she asks him if the car is his. which well, he doesn't care to explain how it's daddy's so he claims it as his, and actually manages to pull off the scam for a few months till prom night. he asks the girl to go to the prom with him and of course the answer is yes. after the prom they go out and have a good time and end up in bed.
so, did the guy rape the girl, since well he used daddy's hot car to lure the hot chick to him and then lied about the ownership?

Given that lying is considered not morally correct, your thread is based on question of morality.

I'll leave it that and leave your thread.

originally posted by: nonspecific
a reply to: grainofsand

I cannot imagine that if the roles were reversed this would have gone the same way.

If you had lied about being sterile or had a vasectomy and she was saying what you did was wrong I would forsee a very different set of opinions in this thread.

Hahaha! I've been thinking exactly the same thing for the last few pages now, just didn't want to raise it myself!
I think you are right there, it seems apparent that if a girl lies to a man in order to gain consent for sex then it's partly the man's fault in the eyes of many, not the liar.

Lol, amusing though, I almost expected that reaction

a reply to: dawnstar

Beg, Baby, Beg!!!
Spend, Baby, Spend!!
Crash, Baby, Crash!!

like that ?

originally posted by: grainofsand
Good find

I've had a skim through and it appears that the Crown Prosecution Service agrees that consent for sex obtained through deception is a crime:

*cough*originally inked to in the second page, pay more attention next time *cough*

Not that I'm needy for attention or crave affirmation or anything