Two Questions for Transgender people

So I was just told to stay out of these threads by someone who has repeatedly put me down and pointed out the differences in our feminine authenticity. Im only mentioning this to point out the hypocrisy of some of those that would ask for tolerance yet do not wish to give it back. I also will not just go away because you think I should, no I don't think so.

I have been accused of enabling haters of us when I was simply trying to be polite and gentle about changing their opinion. I guess my gentleness which stems from my past aggressiveness and feeling bad about it is not radical and aggressive enough for some people. This same person was cheering me on when I was all fire and brimstone about it. Some people can't change I guess.

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess
So I was just told to stay out of these threads by someone who has repeatedly put me down and pointed out the differences in our feminine authenticity. Im only mentioning this to point out the hypocrisy of some of those that would ask for tolerance yet do not wish to give it back. I also will not just go away because you think I should, no I don't think so.

I have been accused of enabling haters of us when I was simply trying to be polite and gentle about changing their opinion. I guess my gentleness which stems from my past aggressiveness and feeling bad about it is not radical and aggressive enough for some people. This same person was cheering me on when I was all fire and brimstone about it. Some people can't change I guess.

Subjects such as this one often can become heated and through misunderstanding boil over. It at times can become emotionally draining particularly for those of us who have transitioned in one way or another, so It's understandable to want a break from it. I am not sure what the weather is like where you are but here it is beautiful. If it's nice where you are, go out and enjoy it. Find your happy place

As for me, i'm heading to the beach in a little bit and it's the weekend so i won't be around much at all but i'll check occasionally.

Personally, I think this thread has probably run its course as it seems several people including the original poster have gained new insight and understanding.

I thank them for that and their openness and honesty. Only through conversations like this will we ever hope to achieve greater understanding and through understanding, acceptance.

So take care of yourself TP and relax. *hug* Life is too short to hold grudges and wield axes. Maybe some "retail therapy" is in order? Shopping always cheers me up so idk, maybe it might help?

As for me, the sand, sun, pebbles and water await.

a reply to: TrappedPrincess

C'mon remind me how much of a man I am again for the good people so they can see how you act exactly like the bigots who hate us do when someone does not agree with you wholeheartedly. You cry crocodile tears you wicked wicked little thing, oh if the people only knew but I'll leave that for you if you decide to show your true colors.

It's been pretty obvious.

a reply to: TrappedPrincess

The fact that you keep sending her unwanted U2Us, some filled with threats, and continue stalking and harassing her in the forum general, speaks loads to me who is actually being "wicked." Knock it off. Go take a walk. Leave Jade alone.

I've already reported your post. It would be unfortunate to see you get into trouble.

a reply to: TrappedPrincess
TP, I'm writing a more comprehensive reply but just wanted to post this to say your own "true colors" are shining through loud and clear.

I should let it stand at that and go to the beach myself but part of me thinks this hostility between different sects of the same religion, if you will, calls out for further examination. It's not like multiple attempts to get to the bottom of this haven't been made. They have but just not gotten through. It's beating a dead horse at this point but I'll make one last ditch attempt to be nice to you and maybe you won't feel so persecuted and angry? If not and you can't let go of your vendetta, then I will disassociate with you and whatever sense of "community" you think there is entirely.

More to follow...

originally posted by: Kojiro
a reply to: TrappedPrincess

The fact that you keep sending her unwanted U2Us, some filled with threats, and continue stalking and harassing her in the forum general, speaks loads to me who is actually being "wicked." Knock it off. Go take a walk. Leave Jade alone.

I've already reported your post. It would be unfortunate to see you get into trouble.

Thats not true, WE were corresponding. Every message I sent her was replied to and when she did ask me to stop I did. I know I'm going to get ganged up on here but things didn't go down like you think. I'm the bad guy and I never threatened her so I don't know where that came from. She must have twisted something I said and took it that way because I never did that.

Oh and I don't know why my post was removed, that was some favoritism because i didn't break T&C I just told the truth yet I got removed. Pfft whatever.

originally posted by: EKron
a reply to: TrappedPrincess
TP, I'm writing a more comprehensive reply but just wanted to post this to say your own "true colors" are shining through loud and clear.

I should let it stand at that and go to the beach myself but part of me thinks this hostility between different sects of the same religion, if you will, calls out for further examination. It's not like multiple attempts to get to the bottom of this haven't been made. They have but just not gotten through. It's beating a dead horse at this point but I'll make one last ditch attempt to be nice to you and maybe you won't feel so persecuted and angry? If not and you can't let go of your vendetta, then I will disassociate with you and whatever sense of "community" you think there is entirely.

More to follow...

Save your time EK I don't want to hear it at this point the damage is done. I get it I'm not one of you guys so you don't want me involved in the conversation. I get it I'm the bad guy no matter what I say, I'm just not in the cool kids group with you gals. No worries though you ladies got this you don't need me. I'm going to go drink away all the hurt from the really nasty things Jade said in private. I just wanted to help but I became distracted by a comment from you that I didn't like and I was having a bad day so I snapped and it was all over after that. I couldn't recover from the damage and I just kept getting insulted and insulted by those that are supposed to be in it with me. I'm not innocent in what transpired so don't think I'm saying that. I'm certainly not the bad guy that everyone has portrayed me to be though either. I'm sorry but that pretty little girl has a heart as cold as ice if you do not agree with her and I saw that firsthand.

a reply to: JadeStar

Oh, and by the way, that is not a silly lyric.

That is some deep s*** , as my compatriots often say. You have a way with words dear lady, and you should never deny it. Artisan souls are far and few between, so please do not belittle yourself. You may be a secret wordsmith, but the words you speak have meaning none the less!

a reply to: TrappedPrincess

But you are a Girl/Woman... saying you're Not is the same as saying my Genderfluidity is Invalid. some people are Stealth about it and some people are out and open about it, no way is wrong and no one should be shamed for either decision, especially within the Community..

Remember for everyone ""the love you give is equal to the love you get""

originally posted by: Darth_Prime
a reply to: TrappedPrincess

But you are a Girl/Woman... saying you're Not is the same as saying my Genderfluidity is Invalid. some people are Stealth about it and some people are out and open about it, no way is wrong and no one should be shamed for either decision, especially within the Community..

Remember for everyone ""the love you give is equal to the love you get""

Thank you Darth I needed that, I feel as though I have been kicked repeatedly. Things were said in private then straight up exaggerated and/or flat out lied about. I was subjected to repeatedly being told I am not that by someone who everyone loves and believes without a doubt despite anything I say. I'm not as well spoken as her so I'm the liar right, for the first time during this whole ordeal I feel battered and insecure. I don't know what else to say or do so I'm just going to keep drinking until I figure it out or pass out.

a reply to: TrappedPrincess
Princess, you haven't been the best at concealing you thinly veiled contempt either. I've tried before, several times, to lay it out for you without success in expressing it well enough for it to have gotten through and it likely won't this time either. This is not an attack on you. It is a situational analysis and observation of the things causing problems between us.

For other readers, "transgender" is a broad term that a lot of different degrees of gender diversity fall under. We are not all one big happy family holding hands, waving flags and singing kumbaya. Some are labeled transgender by default but don't really think of themselves that way and would prefer as much distance as possible from trans anything in reality as all this transing stuff is something that happened long ago and is not part of daily life. For others, being transgender is all they are about.

It is not so much about differences in your "feminine authenticity". You want to be a woman, then fine, be one but years of male privilege and socialization, being a hot dog Marine and lack of history of being a woman plus the disrespect and contempt you've shown for women in general make it hard for you to be accepted or endeared as one. However, I will continue to try to do so. Sure, I'm a little envious of Jade's life and family support but your jealousy of hers AND mine won't let you see clearly how our lives are different from yours and that really gets your goat. You say you are happy and comfortable with who you are but I don't think you've really figured out who you are and you're trying to live a dual life that is taxing and draining and your claimed gentleness doesn't mask well the subtle underlying aggression, hostility and resentment you feel toward her and I and all other women.

Yes, yes, it's all between the ears and who we think we are and identify as is what really what counts. When it goes beyond that though and the expression of it becomes something other than dressing up and putting on make-up, there are world size differences that you fail to truly comprehend as to why we cannot relate on the same level and be, as dare I say it without intending to infer superiority of one over the other, equals.

My life and Jade's life has been and is different from yours. You have a degree of gender dysphoria and discomfort. For Jade and I, this was resolved and we no longer do. Our bodies and experience and ability to live in (pseudo or not) cis normative society is different from yours but should we point out these differences or illuminate them in any way you feel like you are being slighted or excluded and become defensive that you're being thought of as less of a "real" woman.

Obviously, we can be thought of this way too and at this level, should be able to relate exactly to how you feel but the differences that still separates us, are our histories of never being men and as much as you'd like to deny it as a factor, our bodies as well because when everything else is taken away, we are female and what you may be in mind and spirit, we are in living flesh and this does make us something that you are not and have no intention to be.

When you claim to be like us in every way demanding the same level of cis privilege that we experience and when we fail to see eye to eye on that, it causes dissent or lashing on your part that is somewhat understandable. If our "feminine authenticity" is challenged, do you not see while it is the same in some respects it is also very different than when yours is and how our fight for acceptance as women might exclude you because we are not like you on many different levels? It isn't personal. Your feelings may be no less authentic than ours but with our physicality, we may have slightly more credibility in our argument in the eyes of others.

Are we criminals or bigots for not wanting to drag the weight of the "transgender community" around our necks for the rest of our lives because of something done in the past that we have since moved on from? Am I guilty for lacking sensitivity to things in my life I wish never happened that I'd rather forget but have put behind me? Maybe so and maybe for my own protection? Maybe you should figure out where you fit in all of this and what your own battles are? As a whole, we do have some commonality. As individuals, not so much.

It is not that you aren't welcome in these conversations or that your voice should not be heard or that you should feel you are the bad guy, Princess, but know our perspective is very different. We do in many ways have our own little club with membership dues not paid by many so it is not hard to see why you feel excluded. By the same token, it should not be hard for you to see that this exclusivity for us is by default and not because we're stuck up bitches that don't like you.

Maybe all this separatism we were trying so hard to avoid is something that maybe needs defined instead? Maybe Jade and I need to stay out of transgender conversations entirely but we've been trying to help spread understanding of what our lives have been like and are as I know you have been doing also but do not expect our lives, experiences and perspectives are going to be the same as yours are.

Maybe you need to also remember that although she is brilliant, Jade is only twenty years old and I assume that at least in age, you are more mature than that? There is one thing also that you said about being "insulted by those that were supposed to be in it with you". The real truth is that we are not "in it with you" and if we ever were, it was a long time and a very long time ago. Pointing out our differences has never been to demean you or invalidate your experience and I'm not intentionally trying to be mean. I've apologized and tried to explain to you multiple times what the root of all these misunderstanding has been but you keep having "bad days" or snapping wanting to take the whole good ship lollipop down with you. I am afraid you may have finally succeeded in doing just that.

Best of luck to you Princess. Please stop with all the she said this, she said that grade school level accusation. Since it seems the most appropriate thing to do with all the drinking and such, I'm skipping having a Friday night beer or two and having some bourbon and 7-Up and tipping my glass to you all. It's been fun. It's been real. It hasn't all been real fun.

At the beach

a reply to: TrappedPrincess

Maybe, maybe not. But what I'm seeing in public does not reflect well on you. Your activities have bordered on harassment as far as I've seen.

And your post was removed because it was extremely rude and malicious and a bunch of us reported it to the mods because of it.

You claim you did all right in the Marines despite being transgendered and unable to transition. Now I'm beginning to wonder. You strike me that your experiences have affected you more deeply than you want to admit, with possibly plenty of psychological scars. Maybe more than I've accumulated myself.

I'm also about to transition later in life than Jade and EKron did, but you don't see me maliciously lashing out at them. I've only found them both kind and supportive concerning my own situation. Jade's even given me loads of helpful coaching and advice.

Could it really be that perhaps the actual problem here is the way you're presenting yourself? Think about that.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: solarjetman

A buddy of mine is on the path to becoming physically female, having previously been physically male. She, and I will support her decision in this matter by referring to her as female, is actually attracted to females. You see, you have to disconnect the idea of sexuality, preference in terms of partner and so on, from gender, which is the central identity issue which leads people to get their gender reassigned.

So in actual fact, it is not certain in the least that a transgendered woman will be attracted to males, since they have at least as good a chance as women who were born women, of being attracted to the ladies.

As for the second issue you raised, I think that society is idiotic in some of its expectations, especially when the times we live in have no place for things like true honour, the determination to defend to the death, your family, friends, and community from any and all threats, as was the way in times long past. Those who walk the path of honour these days are considered criminals when they successfully defend their honour, so I can understand that these days a youngster could become very confused about where they are supposed to be, and what they are supposed to be doing.

Personally, I think waiting till the age of responsibility is probably a better option than going in guns a blazing early on, but I am far from an expert in these matters.

So in otherwords, your friend was a lesbian trapped in a man's body? Isn't that pretty much what every straight guy on the planet claims, lol?

J/K. I think it is quite metal that you are sticking with your friend and accepting her and embracing her as the person she is. That is ultimately what real friends are about. What set of genital or chromosomes you had at birth are less important than the person you are.

a reply to: Skadi_the_Evil_Elf

Actually, that is precisely how it was put to me during the conversation in which she outlined her situation to me!

Much that I do could be described as somewhat on the metal side! However I consider that it is my duty. I value friendship. Being there for those who have been there for me is an absolute. I will never fail to do that for a friend.

It should be a federal offense to have sex with someone and not tell them you are a trans gender. Much like it is to have sex with someone and not tell them you are HIV positive.

It is a moral issue which should be corrected by the government.

I have no quarrel with the LGBT community. I Believe people should do what makes them happy. However when what makes you happy could in some way lead to anothes detriment then there needs to be a check and balance to ensure the general security of people.

I actually thought of an interesting Idea where during a trans gender operation they get a manditory tattoo near their genitals to let people know "hey I had an operation".

Then again some would say branding a person who underwent gender reassignment is unethical.

I for one agree with the OP, and I've seen pictures online of women online and saying thats a gorgeous woman, only to find out they were gender reassigned years ago. It is a scary thing to be a heterosexual man attracted to someone who has the same chromosomes as you.

What I will say is that I hope before anything becomes physical in nature I.e. Kiss, touch, that the trans gender express their situation.

There have already been stories of men chasing down their ex transgender partners and trying to inflict bodily harm.