Above the Median (Setting Lofty Standards)

Someone near to me relies upon an interesting coping mechanism.

Whenever someone points out problems in his behavior, whenever someone raises concerns about his actions, whenever anyone criticizes him in any way--instead of addressing and remedying those issues, immediately he justifies his stagnation by comparing his behavior unto the median.

Let me explain.

If I send him a text message, it might be days before he bothers providing a response. Yet he's on his phone all the time, and could easily take thirty seconds to type out that reply.

The considerate behavior would be responding asap, but instead of modifying his own actions to embrace that paradigm, he instead tries mollifying himself with the most meaningless excuse possible:

"But that's what everyone does," he says. "Everyone I know takes days to respond to my messages, too."

Thus, because others engage in the same inconsiderate activity, he feels justified doing the same. Because the median response time in his world is days in length, he sees little point in embracing a higher standard.

A strange perspective, that. But it got me thinking.

How often do we demonstrate a lesser standard of ethics because it matches the median? How frequently do we reduce our moral potential simply because others around us are doing no better?

Consider the bystander effect, where entire crowds will watch assaults and murders being committed and none will step forward to stop the crime. Because the median behavior in that situation becomes passive observation--everyone there feels justified in doing nothing more.

To some extent, that averse trait effects us all to a degree. At times we're all guilty of downgrading our morals to fit the median.

But this is a serious crutch we should strive to overcome.

Instead of aiming to be average, we should set our eyes upon steeper summits. In lieu of modulating unto the median we should embrace only the highest of standards.

Like crabs in a bucket, the amoral and unethical behaviors of those around us can have a debilitating effect. They can subconsciously yank us back down whilst we're trying rise up, pulling us into the depths when we seek only the greatest of heights.

Set for yourself loftier standards. Rise always above the median.

And never let the behaviors of "average" people drag you back down.

a reply to: Trachel

So they are making excuses to avoid you?

Theres fifty ways to avoid people. Not confusing that with your issue of higher standards, I try my best to respond to people as soon as possible, anywhere. Even if negative, they took the time, unless its an out and out insult maybe, I try to be on time for appointments, do things I am asked in a timely manner. Its all about how we treat others, not how we offend them.

Whomever this person is to you they are sending a message, maybe just ask them to come out with it and stop beating around the bush.

Can you handle the truth?

a reply to: intrptr

Excuses to avoid me? No, this person just compulsively doesn't respond in a timely fashion.

Whether it's his boss, his friends, his girl--messages just never get answered. And the excuse is always the same.

a reply to: Trachel

Some people want to be "above."
Some just want to be just different.
The latter maddens the former.
(And they do it on purpose.)

In lieu of modulating unto the median we should embrace only the highest of standards.

a reply to: Trachel
You're absolutely right. This behavior has been keeping our species down with this low vibrational attitude. Nobody cares. Eff that. We'll remain down forever if something doesn't change. On a positive ending, have a great day.

originally posted by: donktheclown

On a positive ending, have a great day.

You too!

a reply to: Trachel

People excuse their behavior sometimes with, I am sooo busy. My response to that is we make time for what we want to do.

Some other people like the chase. They like to be chased by others. Its a fear of rejection thing or selfish, whatever. You could try just ignoring them, putting the shoe on the other foot to see how they respond. As hard as that may be, resist calling them no matter how hard it seems. if they don't react, they aren't your friend and if they do react and go back to non responding when you call, they aren't your friend.

Maybe the guy knows his future and knows that certain events / tasks / people are irrelevant to his life path.

However, out of good manners he eventually does what is at the bottom of the list just to keep in contact.

a reply to: Trachel

Set for yourself loftier standards. Rise always above the median.

Here on the roads in Australia very few indicate their signal flashers before turning. I still indicate and ask myself why I bother.

I still indicate and ask myself why I bother.

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

I know why you bother, because you're more considerate.