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Everything In the Bible Is Hershey ...So, anyone read a good book lately?

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posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:18 AM
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Holy cow. Creation is not scientific. Evolution is not alone. The bible is not fact. Moses did not part the "red sea". Noah did not save the animals. The new testament is based on fiction. Jesus was an alien abduction experiment. God could care less. Sure the Earth is flat. The pope wears funny shoes and hats.

If you build it they will laugh. It will rain 40 days and 40 nights. The golden calf and the ark of the covenant, yummy what's for dinner? Let my people go you schmo. Why do people believe this crap? I have daddy issues and I suck my thumb. Could I have some anti-depressants? For he is a jolly good fellow and if I am a good little kid I will get candy.

I can see clearly now that I have these 20 commandments on 4 tablets, oops dropped 2 of them errrr, 10 commandemnts on these 2 tablets...dumb burning bush, bad burning bush...bad, bad, bad...Holy cow...how did George get on this mountain, why was Cheney shooting at the bird in the Bush? It wasn't even dinner time yet.

Wait a second, hold on, I have to answer a text message from God. What was that God...what happened to all the gold, oil and diamonds you left for me? Well, lets see...

I hid all the gold,
I sell the oil and hold people hostage with it and oh yeah....
I kill everyone to keep the diamonds all for me....HAHAHAHA!!!!!

What is that you say god? I got it all wrong? FFS.
edit on 8-7-2015 by soulpowertothendegree because: (no reason given)




posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:23 AM
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I dont know what your on but can I get some



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:23 AM
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a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

You forgot to pray about it. God will fix it.

Let us pray…

Oh lord , won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz,

My friends all drive Porches,

I must make amends.

--- Janis Joplin



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:27 AM
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a reply to: intrptr

How did I know you would be one of the first to respond? You are so predicktable
Where is that rainbow, I mean bag of skittles I lost yesterday? Did you snatch them when I wasn't looking?



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:28 AM
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a reply to: imod02

Sorry...fresh out of give damn...have to wait for the next batch!



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:35 AM
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a reply to: soulpowertothendegree


Where is that rainbow, I mean bag of skittles I lost yesterday? Did you snatch them when I wasn't looking?


I didn't steal your marbles… I mean skittles, you lost them all by yourself.



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:37 AM
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a reply to: intrptr

Actually I had some help from the tooth fairy!



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:39 AM
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So where can I get me some of these chocolate bibles?



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:45 AM
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a reply to: boomerdude

Rice crispies and marshmellows?



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 08:54 AM
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a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

At least they know how to spell heresy



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 09:12 AM
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originally posted by: boomerdude
So where can I get me some of these chocolate bibles?





posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 09:33 AM
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a reply to: uncommitted

You spelled it wrong!



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 09:40 AM
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a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

It's Hershey? Like the chocolate company? You don't mean hearsay? Or heresy? Meh, it's a book that men wrote. Other men voted on what parts to keep in or take out or outright change so it would fit a certain narrative. Anywho, I bet you're a hoot when you've had a few.



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 10:14 AM
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a reply to: Skid Mark

Sadly, I am comatose when I have had a few! I am much more fun sober!



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 11:11 AM
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Hershey like the chocolate company?



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 11:30 AM
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a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

I feel sorry for you. I don't know what got you ticked off at religion but it's really quite sad. However there is something you should know here. You are not in a normal world right now. And the problem is this. Put simply what happened 2000 years ago with Jesus Christ was a botched Apocalypse. And because of that the world was stuck with a 2000 year curse.

This is hard to say but the attitude of your God ranges from ambivalence to actually hating you at the moment. And time is running out on the ambivalent part of it. The time is coming when you are going to have to choose whether you are with him or against him. And he's promised to barbecue those who are against.

I explained the curse in this thread BTW.
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posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 11:36 AM
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a reply to: ntech

LOL! Please, do not feel sorry for me. Save your strength for those that need it, me, I am great except for the milk that came flying out of my nose when I read this and laughed so hard.



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 11:42 AM
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I was looking for chocolate and all I got was this dumb thread.




posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 12:16 PM
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I have know idea wtf this whole thread means.

Ps relax, there is no god.



posted on Jul, 8 2015 @ 12:33 PM
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a reply to: watermama

We are even, I got a reply to my thread and all I found was a troll!




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