posted on Dec, 25 2004 @ 08:24 AM
As it was determined in another thread in the NWO section, I have had to admit that my name is Tupac, and contrary to popular belief, I'm not quite
dead. Since the cat is now out of the bag, I think I'll come clean yo and give ya'll a rundown on what I've been doing, where I've been doing it,
I was shot at on Sep 7th, 1996. This much is true. I don't know who shot at me- I think it was one of my ho's. I decided the time was right to sow
my wild seed in other poon tang around the world.
Between the dates of Sep 7th and Sep 13, I made my way via Canada to Sierra Leone, where I sharpened my capping skills and drive by shooting. I could
hit an ant at 50 yards while driving by at 80mph in my souped up ride by the end of this intense training.
About a year later, I received a phone call.
"Mr Pac, will you accept a collect call from Cuba from a Mr. Castro?"
"Sure thing, yo."
"Tupac! Fidel from Cooba here, homay."
"Well shiiit. What can I do for yo?"
"I need you to train my men. We are launching a covert invasion of the United States soon, and we need your help. Will you do it? Homie?"
"I'm there, bro."
The phone clicked dead. I was onto a good thing here.
I flew immediately to Cuba in my pimp Boeing Seven Dawg Seven.
Soon, I was training the Cuban army how to dress, walk, shoot and talk Gangsta. Their plan was to flood the US with Cuban refugees and covertly take
over a single State with which to build a giant base. Now they needed the street skills to stay alive against the Yankee imperialist bastards.
Fidel greeted me at the airport in his Lada limo, a relic from 1994.
"Ah, my homay! I have your paper here in this briefcase. Ten mellion Yankee Dollars. We have a lot of those."
"Whoa, # man. Where'd you get all this cash?"
"Stock market. Communism- bollocks my friend. Wall Street is where the real money's at. Come, you start today!"
I had to break the Cubans out of a lot of bad habits. First, they kept wanting to wear belts. This was taken care of with a few downtrowings.
THEN, they wanted to hold their heat upright! Now how bad is that dawg? You can't expect to hit any gangsta with your gun to the top!
They soon picked up the general idea after I capped a few of then in the azz.
I did have one small problem though- some had taken over Havana and declared themselves the homies of the hood.
Needless to say, I popped a few caps that day, yo.
So there you have it. There really IS a conspiracy.
Oh, here's some random facts:
This is the third Fidel Castro to have ruled Cuba since 1960.
The CIA tried to pop Castro last week, but the letter bomb was intercepted when the Langley, Virginia postmarks were noticed.
Fidel has some fly bitches.
He also bakes the most wonderful muffins.
(AKA D9's Early Morning Bordom. All crap belongs to me.I take no blame, but maybe a little credit.)